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Temperance.

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)BaronScrewtape
Review:
Okay, first the good.
This is a very hot and well written fantasy story. It would garner very high reviews over at literotica.

Now the complaint.
This is extremely OOC for both Xander and Buffy. Buffy in canon was a super prude, and Xander was possessive and controlling. The moment they tried to throw Buffy in the van, she would have broken the cuffs and then their limbs cause she had no way of knowing if they were working for demons who would want to kill her.
That and there was no real traces of either characters personalities in the story. If you substituted the names 'Scully' and 'Mulder' it would not change the story one iota. Any male and female character names from any show could be plugged in there, just change the names of the locations mentioned. Hell, you could just change the names of the characters and the locations mentioned over and over again, and leave the rest of the story alone word for word, and then post the copies in separate fandoms, honestly.

For me, fanfiction should try to stay true to the characters as presented in canon (otherwise you might as well make a story of your own using your own original characters). Altering their personalities to the point that they cannot be differentiated from generic character templates (slut and cuckold) does not allow for people to relate to your characters.

Personally, I just visualized a hot girl I used to know in high school (who in your story is cosplaying as 'Buffy the Vampire Layer' and my old boss (whom I hate) as the limp cuckold 'Xander' (also cosplaying).
Comments from author:
It was written for the purpose of having the characters ambiguous until the very end. In all honestly, I didn't write this for Xander and Buffy to start with. I wrote it for Elana from 'The Vampire Diaries' being introduced to 'vampire life' by the guys of TvD's with a Damon ending.

But there was too much blood play, and not enough actual sex. So I cut that out, and seeing that Buffy could pop into the place I slotted her there. And being a somewhat fan of the B/X pairing I through him in as well.

I made it true to it's self because in reality this would be a AU, because Xander wasn't dating anyone at the end of the season nor was Buffy. Though it's unlikely she'd ever give her up love for necrophilia. I refuse to read the comics because there shit.

Buffy would have broken any cuffs and destroyed any guy trying to hold her captive, if she hadn't talked with Xander about wanting this kind of thing to happen before hand. At least giving herself the idea that it could. And in this little AU, B & X aren't just two people who apparently enjoy foe gang rapes, but a married couple with kids.

And having lived their young lives with demons, monsters, death, and weird shit they married sex lives might venture into the wild.

It's hardly cuckold when the husband sets it up, and literally finishes. At any rate, glad for the review.


): )
Review By [(Current Donor)BaronScrewtape] • Date [28 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Past Donor)TheBear
Review:
fucking hot!
Comments from author:
Glad you enjoy'd it. I made sure Buffy did as well.


): )
Review By [(Past Donor)TheBear] • Date [12 Nov 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Selonianth
Review:
Now, can't say I'd ever do this with my girl, too posessive you see, but this is very well written.
Comments from author:
True. Can't say too many girls would be alright with their own gangbang either. Thats for the review.


): )
Review By [Selonianth] • Date [27 Jan 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Genuka
Review:
Great fic!
Comments from author:
Thanks.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
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