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The Slayer of Harrowstone

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Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from UnscathedAnimal
Review:
This is an excellent fic and though I've only just found it to read I'm eagerly looking forward to the next chapters.

The only problem I've consistently noticed is minor grammar errors. Like using your where you should've used you're. Like "your right". What? It's her right? We weren't talking about laws and rights a moment ago... "you're right" as in "you are right" is the way to go. There were also a couple "to"s where "too"s should have been I think. For some reason whenever I see that particular error it sounds in my head like "toe", except instead of adding the 'e' it just comes up short. Even though in normal use they actually sound exactly the same.

Granted, this was written two years ago, so if you've figured out your homonyms already then that's fine. In that case you can ignore my bitching. :P
Comments from author:
Thank you, I'm glad that you liked it.

My grammar errors in this story weren't so much an example of my misunderstanding of English -- I consciously know the difference between my various homonyms. However, this story (as with most of my writing) is unbetaed, and sometimes I accidentally write the wrong thing, and I don't have much luck catching my own mistakes. I think I've gotten better at it the more I've written, although I'm sure I still slip up from time to time in various ways.
Review By [UnscathedAnimal] • Date [5 Nov 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from lunalurker
Review:
A very good story. Excellent voice. Almost shockingly brutal and horrifying at times, I suppose because my brain keeps defaulting to the feel of Buffy the series, and I forgot this was mostly Pathfinder and Mythos world with a Buffy in it, which I get the feeling are even darker places than Hellmouth High.
Me, despite what troubles are in our heroes future, I hope things get at least somewhat easier instead of worse for them, after this much going through the wringer. Too much soul-numbing horror is numbing in the end, after all, even for the reader.
Thanks for writing!
Comments from author:
Thank you -- I'm glad that you liked it! This was the second attempt I ever made at writing fanfic, and the first I finished. Looking back on it, there are some things I'd do differently, and there are things I'm very proud of, which I suppose is normal. It's alway nice to get feedback on it, though.

The Pathfinder setting is broken up into many countries, each of which has its own tone and themes -- that way people using the setting can explore many ideas without having to use different settings. I placed this in Ustalav, which is the horror setting, particularly gothic horror. If this story was set in some other places the feel would be very different, although I would still have written it with somewhat more graphic violence than is typical of the Buffyverse.

I definitely put Buffy through some tough times in this fic, but they let her grow as well. I have ideas for future stories in this series, but there're only so many hours in a day, and I'm working on other projects at the moment, but I will get back to this series... eventually. And I'll try not to make it too grimdark;)

Thanks for the review!
Review By [lunalurker] • Date [9 May 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Morgomir
Review:
Great story. Keep up the good work, whatever it may be.
Comments from author:
I'm very glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [25 Dec 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Wizzzard
Review:
A very enjoyable story. I particularly liked the way you dealt with Buffy's feeling about Willow.
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you appreciated it. I wanted to have that situation be given the gravitas it deserved, without Buffy being unforgiving or too forgiving. I'm happy that I seem to have succeeded on finding that line. Thanks for the review!
Review By [Wizzzard] • Date [13 Nov 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from maxthehobbit
Review:
This is much different from the Dungeons & Dragons I played a little over two decades ago, but it was fun reading it. I was a little surprised that Dawn didn't communicate with Buffy, since now she is the powerful "Key.'

I grinned at the 'Buffy speak' you used, funny.

A sequel ... there are just too many ways to go. You could almost make a full story about Kendra being introduced to the modern world. Or them having many adventures before finding the right dimension, Earth, whatever.

Thanks for writing this story.
Comments from author:
The game has evolved quite a bit over the years, and of course making it a crossover always causes some changes. Dawn will be involved in future parts of this series, but for now she's still reintegrating with herself.

I found myself using Buffyspeak in real life as well, which was a little awkward. Writing something like that everyday does things to your head.

My plan is for Buffy and Kendra to have several more misadventures before finding their way to Buffy's earth, although it'll be a while before I get around to writing it (I've got another story that I'm working on at the moment, but I am still thinking about this series).

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the review!
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [9 Nov 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from SlowMercury
Review:
This story was great fun; Buffy and Kendra were a very good match. I was also particularly fond of Buffy's response to Annika's doughtily named mace with the story of how she acquired Mr. Shiny. It was a ludicrous and surprisingly effective battle boast. The dungeon crawl finished as it started -- creepy yet awesome.

Congratuations on completing such a good story. I look forward to the sequel, should you ever write one. :)
Review By [SlowMercury] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from SlowMercury
Review:
This story was great fun; Buffy and Kendra were a very good match. I was also particularly fond of Buffy's response to Annika's doughtily named mace with the story of how she acquired Mr. Shiny. It was a ludicrous and surprisingly effective battle boast. The dungeon crawl finished as it started -- creepy yet awesome.

Congratuations on completing such a good story. I look forward to the sequel, should you ever write one. :)
Comments from author:
I'm glad you liked it -- it really worked smoother when I had them both in the story. I did like that scene -- Buffy's irreverence is always fun, and I'm happy it worked out. And that really was what I was looking for with the dungeon crawl.

Thank you -- it really feels good to have finished. I'm still in the planning stages for a sequel, and I'm working on a different fic right now, which hopefully will go over well as well. Thanks for the review!
Review By [SlowMercury] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from AllenPitt
Review:
Great story! I liked how it came back to Annika. And now, on to Sunnydale! Probably the Sunnydale of "The Wish", with Buffy's luck but Sunnydale. Meeting vampire Willow might give her some perspective on her Willow, who knows.
* Sorry for delay, power failure lasted 7 days. Just got power back....
Comments from author:
I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, I had planned for Annika to be responsible for the problems since my early plotting. Buffy has quite a bit to go before she makes it home, and she will learn a lot on the journey. However, I'm still working through ideas in my head before I can even plan a comprehensive outline for the sequel, so it'll be a while. I've got some other works in progress however.
Sorry to hear that! We didn't get more than some rain out here in my part of the country. Hope things get back to normal for you, and thanks for the review!
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from (Current Donor)kedrann
Review:
This has been a good read, both enjoyable and well-constructed.

As for the end... dealing with genies is never easy. I wonder where they will end. There are many possibilities, be they in games, literature or elsewhere.

If they go for a scifi universe... the Metabarons could be an amusing choice.
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Yeah, not the safest way home, but then again, safe makes for boring stories. I'm planning for each story in this series to be in an RPG setting.

Next time will be SciFi. I'd never heard of Metabarons, but it looks interesting. Anyway, thanks for the review!
Review By [(Current Donor)kedrann] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from tomfo
Review:
This was great, a really enjoyable story with a nice logical ending point leaving us satisfied but still wanting more. I really hope to see them finding another party member in the next story, a Rogue/Thief type would be a real help to Buffy/Kendra in finding traps and the really valuable stuff and reminding them that even if they arent gonna use stuff they can still sell it. I can see Buffy and party making it to Sunnydale just in time to face The First with bags of holding stuffed with magical armours and weapons to equip the potentials, cos honestly the ending of the series made little sense. If ressurrecting a slayer allowed The First to break free the I shudder to think what it would take to balance the activation of dozens or possibly hundreds of slayers. Anyway thats my ramble finished. Thanks for writing this wonderful story and I really hope you will have more for us, hopefully soon.
Comments from author:
I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. My original Idea had involved a cliffhanger ending (they would arrive in the next setting, and it would be weird and dangerous and then curtain close) but I decided if I wasn't going to start on it immediately, I shouldn't be so cruel. I do plan to eventually end this series with them taking on the First -- I have a fully fledged plan to take it down that I think will be interesting, and the intervening stories include the build up needed to get there. Thanks for the review!
Review By [tomfo] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from war
Review:
Noticed she didn't mention a time period in that request.

Good story looking forward to your next story.
Comments from author:
One should always be very specific when dealing with creatures that are very different:)

Thanks for the review!
Review By [war] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Riniko
Review:
Really enjoyed the story and will be looking forward to a new one when you are ready. Perhaps they could if you are looking for a sci-fi world end up in ShadowRun, tho you likely already have an idea where you plan on taking them.
Comments from author:
I'm glad my first finished fic has been so well received! Fantasy RPGs are more popular, but there are a surprising number of SciFi and other genre ones as well. Thanks for the review!
Review By [Riniko] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Drake
Review:
Sci-Fi world for Buffy?

Well, that can only be Warhammer.

I wonder if they stay sane, even during a short visit.

An additional benefit of Warhammer is that they won't learn a lot about tech or get lots of data, but will get solid, hard to break, pieces of equipment.

:)

cheers.
Comments from author:
You'll just have to wait and see! Although as I said, I have some other projects I'm working on first -- I'm letting this stew a bit so when I get to it it'll be ready.
Review By [Drake] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Drake
Review:
A good conclusion to the story. Well done.

The only issue I noticed is how long it too Kendra to solve the problem. Her father had months to study the manuscript, and yet Kendra (who I believe to be lower level) solved it in days. I guess it could simply be that her father recognized that a shambler wouldn't take Buffy home...

So Kendra got a bag of holding in Ravengro? That seems a little unlikely, but I guess travel to Lepidstadt and back wouldn't have added anything to the story.

I'd also have liked Buffy to take Father Grimburrow up to the prison and properly lay the dead to rest, but I guess if the priests didn't do it after the fire, they have no reason to do it now.

Anyway, the story is done and I'm now waiting for the sequel. Any hint where it will take us? Perhaps the Forgotten Reals during Pool of Radiance (the original game)? Or the adventures of the Bhaal-spawn (Baldur's Gate)? Or will you go beyond game worlds? There's always Middle Earth, of course. So many possibilities... any hints?

Thanks for sharing.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you liked it!

Kendra used his notes to get a head start -- he wasn't that far away himself, and so she used his work as a starting point which cut quite a bit of time.

She probably would have had to get it from Lepidstadt, but that just didn't seem relevant, so we can either presume they made a quick trip, or someone did have one, or they sent someone to pick one up. I wanted her to spend a total of 5 months in Golarion, and so I was running short on time, and as you said, it wasn't relevant.

Thats really out out of her purview -- someone will probably do it eventually, now that it isn't haunted anymore. Buffy never really worried about the sanctity of bodies too much.

Well, my plans for this are to have each story be in a different game world... and I really want to branch out. The next part should be in a SciFi-ish RPG, but I'm still working out details, so I don't want to commit to anything for now.

Thanks for all of the reviews!
Review By [Drake] • Date [5 Nov 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from Thedruid
Review:
Yes, yes it has.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review!
Review By [Thedruid] • Date [4 Nov 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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