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Review of chapter "Prologue: A night at cemetery" from Gideon
Cool idea!
You will need to add a disclaimer though. It is required on all stories.
I quite liked your description of the fight, but you might want to split it into smaller paragraphs. Such a long paragraph is hard to read on a screen. I also noticed that you are missing a lot of definite and indefinite articles ("a" and "the") and you have trouble with the past tense of most of the verbs. I can write up a corrected version of this chapter if you like. Please contact me though the email link on my profile or reply to this review if you are interested.

Edit: The disclaimer is where you say that you don't own the show that the story is based on.
eg: I don't own Star Trek or The Next Generation. They were created by Gene Roddenberry.

more details are in the site rules under information:
Comments from author:
Thank you for your attention!

As I said in my profile English is not my native language, so I write this story mostly to improve my writing skills. I'm very grateful for the advice and help but I must do this alone, I must learn how string the words together in some kind of intelligible story, without colossal grammar errors.

I'm glad that you like idea for a story, I'm also thankful for any constructive criticism and words of advice.

P.S What disclaimer? What do you mean?
Review By [Gideon] • Date [5 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue: A night at cemetery" from vampygal
The disclaimer is where you state that you don't own any of the characters etc. Look at the other stories posted for examples. I applaud you wanting to go this on your own to better your grasp of English. But please take the advice offered. Use spell and grammar check at least. The grammatical errors really distract from what could be a very good story. That and the really big paragraph.
Comments from author:
Again, thank you for advices!

I used spell check it didn't show me any misspellings. If there are any, I'm sorry. As for grammar, just tell me what is actually wrong and I will try to correct it. :) But besides this grammar mistakes story is intelligible, you can understand what was going on, what I was saying? I'm currently writing Chapter I, I hope it will be better because of constructive criticism you gave me. :)
Review By [vampygal] • Date [2 Oct 12] • Not Rated
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