Just re-read this and I was thinking the same as another reviewer- this could easily be adjusted a bit into being a good Ship of the Line story. Just add in a few more Normandy characters like EDI, Joker and Vega and you'd have a big enough crew to man it in the short term. Though I'm not sure what crossover would work- I'd like to think the Thanix cannon could take out the Aphosis' model of ha'tak's if you chose SG but outside that and without the relay network the Normandy wouldn't be getting anywhere in the galaxy too fast.

Back onto the story itself- love seeing Kaidan and Miranda show up they are two of my favorites and it should be fun for the aftermath that all three are strong biotics. I also like how your Willow and Angel seem to be a bit more on the ball than we usually see in YAHF fics where they spend half an hour trying to convince the other characters to stop playing around.

How about Harmony as EDI?

It occurs to me that this could be turned into a "A Ship of the Line" story.

Are you planning on just leaving Xander and the others with what they have?

Believe it or not I am tempted to rewrite this as a Ship of the Line story. Will require some small adjustments to include the appearance of the Normandy - and someone would have to dress up as EDI - and maybe one or two other characters but its certainly something I am seriously looking at doing.

This is pretty good, average start for a Halloween story, but that's not a bad thing, and it looks like the future of it has some promise. I'm willing to beta if you'd like, shoot me a message, might take a day to read it but I'm in college so it happens.

What'll happen if somebody dressed as Ashley? Or Tali? Or Liara? Or FemShep?

Oh very nice, the fact that more people dressed in Mass Effect costumes is going to throw some interesting twists in if you keep up with this story!
I love what you are doing with this so far, thanks!

Dam fine story you have got here. It might just be the best Mass Effect cross over i've read. Keep up the good work thanks and bye.

Very nicely handled. There's obvious questions for if this goes all the way of course:

1) Will Xander retain his "Shepard" cybernetics, including the amp? Plus side, it'd guarantee he will have biotics and probably his Omni-tool, the down side being maintenance issues and/or having to eat a lot of mineral supplements.

2) Will Kaidan and Miri be retained in part or whole by their costumers? Plus is a strong team for the Xan-man, the puzzling with a side of wonky would be "Miri"'s costumer deciding to pursue the love of one Xander Harris, much to Willow's annoyance until Oz comes into the picture..

I like and am enjoying your story. I also like the way you've added Jono and Cordy to the transformations. I do wonder where you will go with your story after they break the Janis statue. But I am looking forward to reading your story so please update soon.

too much to ask for someone to shoot Angel...or biotic throw him...

ah well, keep up the good work

Good story. Looks like you have a plan for where this is going and how to get there. Looking forward to your next update.

would shepard be an adept

Not so bad.

Fun concept, decent starting chapter...looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

Good start. I've yet to see a decent Mass Effect story here, fingers crossed this'll be the first one.

Just a thought though - you might want to look into getting a beta reader just to proof read this stuff. For example, a few instances of Britishisms (I'm going to assume you're British, or an Aussie?) that shouldn't really be cropping up in a character like Xander's internal monologues, for example "chuck them in the washing machine" or "the local pub". Also, they'd help with grammar, it wasn't terrible, but little things like missing commas (e.g. “Ethan Rayne this is my shop,” rather than “Ethan Rayne, this is my shop,” or “And yeah I love it.” rather than “And yeah, I love it.” or “That depends how much do you have?” rather than “That depends, how much do you have?”), or things like acronyms ("a.s.a.p" rather than "ASAP").

Hope you're not offended. I mean, I've trudged through fanfic that was pretty much unreadable, and this definitely wasn't that. I'd be more than willing to stick with it in it's current state if the story turns out to be a good one. But little things like the stuff I just mentioned can prevent a great story being seen as more than merely alright, or okay.