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A Weapon Forged from Fire

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Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from JinaSolo
Review:
This story has some very interesting twists.

More please!
Comments from author:
Thank you! I will be back to it soon. In the mean time, I recommend you read some of my others! Xander's New House, After Midnight, How Drusilla got Her Soul Back, A New Heart.

Peace,

Blue
Review By [JinaSolo] • Date [6 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from Rod
Review:
OK, I have a problem with this chapter apart from the obvious one that your timeline is screwed, which I think can be fixed by just moving the opening section to where it belongs. In fact the opening section is the problem; the viewpoint shifts. We start off knowing what's going on in Jess's head, then it jumps back and forth between Sam and Jess several times in the course of a few paragraphs. This omniscient narrator approach works in the other sections, but here we are in too deep with too few people, and it's dizzying.

Edit: there's a section on POV switching in Arduinna's Chrestomathy (http://www.trickster.org/arduinna/chrestomain.html#POV) that tries to explain this sort of thing (probably rather better than I can). She's writing from the point of view that omniscient narrators are bad, which I think is overstating the case, but it is true that it's very distracting to jump between points of view too much. I didn't find it too distracting in the big conference scene because I was just getting brief glimpses into people's heads, without much depth. It would have been better to have stuck to Jack POV, but it wasn't bad as it was. With Sam and Jess's scene, you were writing much deeper into their thought processes, so the switch from one to the other correspondingly involves more shifting around in my head and breaks the flow of the story.
Comments from author:
Sadly, inspiration doesn't always behave. Yes, I think the chapter bit belongs in the earlier chapter, and I may yet move it. As for the viewpoint shifts... well, I'll look at it, but mostly I think that's just my style... I'm not sure why you're thinking that it works less well with fewer people... maybe you can explain it to me... I *am* open to suggestion, but don't count on me rewriting everything...

Thanks for your thoughts.

Blue

EDIT: Thank you!! I will read it and try to bear it in mind... I do hope you notice that I took your advice and placed the Jessica segment back in chapter 6 where it belongs chronologically. I read it and decided it really didn't fit well in the greater flow of the story in this chapter. Hope this pleases you :-)

I gave you credit. (or blame!)

Blue
Review By [Rod] • Date [18 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from RevDorothyL
Review:
Love the character augments for Jess, as well as the elaboration on Gunn's research capabilities (makes perfect sense to me that he would apply the same creative problem-solving and stark determination he'd showed as a demon-fighter to RESEARCHING beyond the demonic legal knowledge W&H had provided, and that he'd use his knowledge of Lindsey's departure from W&H in order to prepare for the almost certain necessity of getting out of their contracts and keeping the Senior Partners off their necks at some future date).

And I adored the chance for almost ALL the good guys to tell Eve off (she's the Evil Inc. equivalent of eternal fingernails on a blackboard and deserves to be soundly thwarted and silenced at every opportunity!). :)

Looking forward to more, whenever you're able to update, as always.

[Update: I LOVE that idea for a spin-off! I so would have watched that, since I still mourn for the -- to me -- seemingly gratuitous destruction of Fred and Gunn's relationship, as well as the later destruction of Fred herself. Any chance you might WRITE that yourself, someday? Pretty please?]
Comments from author:
I'm so very glad that my character augments meet with your approval! I love expanding Gunn too, b/c I think they didn't make enough use of his new abilities and how he would feel about it all in season 5, but then, it was a show called 'Angel' ;-/ Am I the only one who thinks a spinoff with Gunn and Fred running a small law office/supernatural fighting outfit would have been an interesting spinoff? (Something situated in the 'inner city' where they could help people who were in trouble... Gunn could get back to his roots, but with extra skills). They could have worked with Wes and a slayer... maybe Vi?

Anyway, I really did digress, didn't I?

It was my pleasure to sock it to Eve. I'm having so much fun.

Wait till you see what comes next! Not sure how long the next chapter will take, but it probably won't be as long as the previous one. Whenever I have lots of stuff to do, I always write more... not sure what that is!

Blue
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [17 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from Bluejello
Review:
I was just thinking about this fic yesterday! Nice chapter, I liked the scene with Eve and Angel.
Comments from author:
Hi Blue!

Flattered that you think about my writing! I feel all special and 'stuff'! :-) Glad to be of service... I love to hate Eve!

Blue
Review By [Bluejello] • Date [16 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from (Recent Donor)SamuraiCatFan
Review:
Just catching up with this story. Really enjoying it so far, even if my entire knowledge of Supernatural comes from reading fanfic!

Can't imagine Wolfram & Hart is going to let Angel and Company go, given their role in W&H's planned "apocalypse", notwithstanding the involvement of SG1. Suspect they will sic Kinsey on the SGC (and wouldn't that really tie into to some of the canon Kinsey efforts against the SGC, particularly General Hammond and SG1). Of course given Kinsey's extremely likely involvement in the Initiative, I strongly suspect that once Buffy gets wind of things that Kinsey and W&H are really going to facing a much heat than they planned on. Having a bunch of knowledgeable professional demon hunters around to help out will certainly help.

Looking forward to reading more.
Comments from author:
Very glad that you're reading now! Welcome! Be aware that my version of Supernatural canon doesn't always resemble SPN's actual canon, though I try to get the personalities to reflect the ones we (some of us) know and love or love to hate.

Nope, WRH aren't gonna let go. They may be in for an interesting surprise. Prophecies are tricksie creatures... As for the slayers and other folks who might become involved... well, the sky's the limit... Regardless of where it goes, it will be interesting, that I promise you!

Demon hunters, planet savers... people who can blow up suns and who can make ectoplasms solid... magic users and destiny altering vampires... and folks who can kill demons with their bare hands... should be interesting....

More soon... I hope.

Blue.
Review By [(Recent Donor)SamuraiCatFan] • Date [16 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from AllenPitt
Review:
well, the plot sure advanced with this chapter! One thing--if the contract is voice, does that mean all of Connor's memories will come back? ie the spell that altered him might be voided, too... just a thought.
Is this the time for them to ask about severance packages?
Comments from author:
yes, I had some inspiration! The contract may be void, but no, Connor's memories aren't automatically going to come back... though at some point, someone malicious may realize they're not all back and try to drive him mad again by releasing them... 'we' (the royal writer we) will have to ponder that. Stay tuned!

Severance packages? Is that like literal severance? That could be painful!!! I can't tell you... you'll have to read! :-)

Blue
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [15 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from Mcspender
Review:
Oh yeah, Eve being blinsided was beautiful xD!!!.
And of course the WR & H people had to complicate thing, let's see how do they hold up against the really heavy players.
Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
Glad to be of service! Glad to hear from you :-) Yes, of course WR&H won't take defeat lying down... They may live to regret that course of action.... It should be fun. Boom!

See you again soon!

Blue
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [15 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "It... Is... Later. Than. You. Think..." from Gladius
Review:
Extremely nice, liking the interplay between the characters, and Angel wising up and getting the hell out of his contract. Looking forward to what happens next!
Comments from author:
I am really glad that the interplay is working... I love playing with the characters and trying to embody their personalities.. and imagine their interactions... Angel can be a bit dense, but he's got ONE priority and that priority just showed up in his office.

Next time... things get really, really scary. :-) :-D

Blue
Review By [Gladius] • Date [15 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Falling Together" from Mcspender
Review:
Nice way to escape to the Dog, Goat and the Venison (A.K.A. Wolfram & Hart), very Otto Skorzeny like, congratulations xD!!!.

I mean, an oath like that, done in front of an entire country symbol like the flag is, has a veeery strong magical power, strong enough to break any spells.

Besides, when it comes to face the Pentagon and the Army, not even Joe "Everyone is a Commy!" McCarthy was powerful enough to fight them, would that mean that the FBI can take down that unholy mix of a law firm and merc army that WR & H is =D??????.

And yeah, seeing Angel being blindsided is awesome!.
Cool chapter, see ya!!!.
Comments from author:
I enjoy blindsiding Angel! I love him, but I love to turn his world upside down!

Yes, the folks at Wolfram and Hart may have picked the wrong fight. They've got Angel as an enemy, and he's pissed, and now they've got themselves on the AF's radar and even the hunters are aware of them. This cannot end well.

Yes, even Joe McCarthy wouldn't want to go up against the magic of love of country represented by our flag. Symbols are powerful. I bet they don't want to mess with the deeper magics that tie humans to planet earth... after all, they don't belong here. We do.

The oath is powerful too... you have no idea how powerful. mwahahahah...

Blue
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [19 Mar 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Falling Together" from RevDorothyL
Review:
I love it when the bad guys (especially Phillips, in this case) are made to sweat!

And what a way to confirm Angel's paternity! :)
Comments from author:
So very glad to make the little worm squirm! so glad you enjoyed it!

Yes, I love to reveal things with a splash! this one will make waves...

Blue
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [18 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Falling Together" from (Current Donor)Sithspit
Review:
Holy crap, by the end of that chapter my head felt like I'd just been watching a high-velocity tennis match with all that back and forth. Very fast paced, lots of "action"...one or two typos, though nothing to cause a disconnect or mess with disbelief suspension.
Comments from author:
Hope it was a fun tennis match! :-) Glad it wasn't too 'slow' - I wasn't sure. I had fun writing it... well, sort of... it was kind of torture to edit, since I lost all my first edits and had to start over... do pm me the typos so I can correct them... Glad they don't spoil things too much.

Thanks,

Blue
Review By [(Current Donor)Sithspit] • Date [18 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Falling Together" from skychan
Review:
Heh, fun chapter. I also like the escape clause not an escape clause of re-enlistment. Though of course I'm a bit curious why their own employees haven't been given the same run around and had the fact that they can be re-enlisted to break their contracts hidden from them as well.
Comments from author:
Escape clauses all around!! The employees don't know this -- it isn't common knowledge. The reason Gunn knows it is because he's been digging deeply into his law knowledge trying to find a way out for him and his friends... and of course, it can't be voluntary, it has to be a draft, or an involuntary reenlistment. O'Neill just played a hunch and it worked.

Glad you enjoyed!

Blue
Review By [skychan] • Date [18 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Falling Together" from AllenPitt
Review:
Yeah, Angel would do absolutely anything to protect Connor, no question about it. For that matter, any of those (O'Neill, John Winchester etc would also for theirs). That's the one thing that might salvage the Fang Gang--he did a lot to them, but he had an over-riding reason. Hm, Wesley is likely most affected. Doesn't remember Connor, so he doesn't recall the whole Holtz/kidnap/cut throat thing either. if he gets the memory back, he'll be a lot more understanding, I'm thinking.
So, if they all get drafted by the US military, they're out of their W&H contracts? Interesting thought. Heck-Angel worked for the navy in 1943 with that Nazi sub...
Moving on--Connor is going to be very confused. Vampires can have children? heh. Wait until the Fang Gang find out who his mother was. That'll blow their minds.
Comments from author:
Yes, we have a bunch of hyper-protective people!! I think the fang gang will forgive him a lot for trying to take care of his son (and save Cordelia). Working on how their memories will come back...

Yeah, if they all get drafted, they're out... we'll see if that becomes necessary... Gunn thinks he's got them out... apparently, he and Wes have been researching a way out...

Connor is gonna be beyond confused... but he already knows from the dream that his dad isn't quite 'human'... and the idea that vampires can have children won't seem strange b/c he doesn't know anything about vampires... the idea that *he's* not a vampire or some kind of dangerous demon will be harder to explain... particularly to the hunters who may just decide he's evil after all.

There's a lot of mind blowing to go around! Eve, for one!!

Blue
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [18 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Road to Destiny?" from Gideon
Review:
I hope they are right about Cassie not being in danger. Hopefully everything is moving too fast for anyone to respond to Connor taking out the YED yet. And if W&H have two teams watching Connor won't they have seen everyone coming? That would not bode well for the insertion team!
Comments from author:
Well, no one's watching Connor b/c the one team got taken out and the other team didn't get the memo right away... and of course, by the time they send a replacement team, no one will be able to find Connor. All I'm gonna say is that everyone's fair game. You're worried about Cassie? I'm more worried about Jess.

Blue
Review By [Gideon] • Date [3 Feb 13] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Road to Destiny?" from skychan
Review:
Well that's a particularly bold aproach. So much for trying to catch someone OUTSIDE the giant building of evil.
:)
Comments from author:
Well, fortune favors the brave... or crazy... SG-1 is both and the hunters aren't shrinking violets either! Besides, inside the belly of the whale is so much more interesting!!

Blue
Review By [skychan] • Date [28 Jan 13] • Not Rated
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