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I’m Not A Loser.

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from EtelkaEtana
Review:
I have been reading this series and have adored it... up to first paragraph this story.
The Xander plot-twist has turned me off, but that is a personal preference and has no bearing upon your writing.

Your writing is Excellent!
You have displayed wonderful character development, an element that's sometimes ignored in fanfiction. I adore your action's pace, It's not so fast that I can't catch-up/feel overwhelmed but at the same time you don't drag on. You keep the plot-line within your separate stories relevant to the story, while still making it feel as if it's a continuation of the previous book in the series. I love how your stories (that I have read so far) Have a distinct beginning middle and end... no nasty cliff-hangers left to be dealt with in the sequel.

I have really enjoyed this series so far, and may come back to read this story to it's end at a later date... After I have had time to digest this new incarnation of my favorite character. Till then no rating. I don't want to rate a story I have barely read.
Comments from author:
I perfectly understand how you feel and thank-you for all the nice things you said about my writing.

By the time I got to 'I'm not a loser' I was getting a little bored with writing the characters as I've written them here and I think I was trying to shake things up a little and maybe rekindle my interest in the series. unfortunately it didn't work.

However, if you'd like to go back and get past that first section about Xander's rather bitter revenge angst you might find the rest of the story interesting. really things don't get screwed up until near the end when Xander sorta reappears.

Give it a go you never know you might like it.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [EtelkaEtana] • Date [29 Apr 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from DieselDriver
Review:
All I can say is that Willow, in not learning her lesson the first time she cast stupid spells, really screwed the pooch this time. Cost her everything including her life.

She had the best of intentions. Road to Hell and all that.
Comments from author:
'She had the best of intentions. Road to Hell and all that.'

That's Willow all over.

In my Grim Up North series I write Willow differently with her being more careful with her magic and not trying to change things/people for the better.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [16 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from DieselDriver
Review:
Handicapped bone to pick... They are not "false" limbs. They are real, just like the originals are except these can be purchased if need be. They are "prosthesis" or "artificial" but false implies that they aren't actually "limbs". Not the same as a false ID or false note in a song.
Comments from author:
not sure what I wrote here and could be a difference in English/American usage no harm was intened.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [16 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from DieselDriver
Review:
I hate unhappy endings and here you've given me two bad endings for one story. Bah Humbug!
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [7 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five." from DieselDriver
Review:
Ok, Big NONO! You do not just slip a firearm into the waistband of your pants. Good way to lose the weapon or shoot yourself. If you want to carry a weapon that way you use a holster designed for it. If you want to put a weapon in your pocket you use a holster designed to go in a pocket. Look I don't want to be critical, it is a good story but safety is paramount when you handle a firearm. You got that right when you said don't touch them. But with 9 years in the military she would know better than to slip the gun into her waistband. Not only is it dangerous as hell but it's also going to be extremely uncomfortable. If she's wearing regular clothes it would NOT be concealed that way and would not stay in position if she moved around at all. This is a very basic stricture of safe gun handling. Like the "always assume it's loaded" stricture. It would be foolish to carry it this way. Faith is not foolish. You should fix this error. Hopefully no one reading this will assume it's ok to carry their weapon this way.
Comments from author:
Many times, when I was in Northern Ireland, I carried a 9mm pistol tucked into the waist of my jeans in the small of my back; I've also carried an SMG in a sports bag (no violin cases you see). The only holsters we had were obviously military one's so wouldn't go with civvies. Never shot myself, never lost my weapon, never heard of anyone that did, plus it was easier to conceal. True, I give you, its not perfect but needs must when the devil vomits down your trousers!

Also, we never carried weapons with 'one up the spout' or 'made ready'. I cringe when I see cops on TV pull a pistol and fire without first loading the first round, indicating that they must be walking around in public with a weapon that's ready to fire.

I honestly don't think anyone with any sense would pick up tips on weapons safety from reading this or other stories on this sight. Those without any sense shouldn't be anywhere near firearms.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [7 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from WhippingDawn
Review:
Damn...

At long last a RESET that doesn't bring all things perfect à la "Star Trek: Voyager"'s "Year of Hell"! This is realistic - in a Buffyverse way - and the only real winners are Xander and Faith. The Big Bad and the Hero.

OK, that ending is a shock, but Willow is a dummy, thinking that she can reset time without any consequences. In fact, you have opened there a veritable Pandora Box! This is a reboot à la "Star Trek" (again). Who knows if some other subtle things have not changed and will make huge differences in the future?

Well, you do, of course. :) Wonderful story!
Comments from author:
Well actually I don't!

I've started what is likely to be the last Fita story, it involves the SAS, Serbian Insurgents, three witches, a master vampire and possibly some Werewolves. Now I could go with the witches turning everything back to how it should have been or something similar. I could have Faith retiring, I really don't know.

In fact, if you have any ideas how to do an open ended ending for this series I'd like to hear them!

Cheers,
D.

PS: if you wanna contact me, go to my profile and contact me through the TTH system.
Review By [WhippingDawn] • Date [18 May 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from lunalurker
Review:
Well. Ah. That was a suddenly jarring crash of a twist second ending. It quite suddenly is very terrible to be anyone but a bitter backstabbing Xander or, to some extent, Faith. And poor Willow especially, relapsing again and falling to despair, as suddenly she and everyone else is suddenly under the scrutiny of a US government that suddenly knows enough about magic that it can force someone to log their spells and rate the power levels of said spells. Sigh...
I really don't know what to think, I really don't.
Comments from author:
Don't mess with things that you don't understand maybe...or that Chinese saying (I think it is), Careful what you wish for you might get it!

Willow always had this thing about jumping in where witches fear to tread.

Also I wanted to get back to the idea of writing military adventure stories without having to explain why Faith wasn't working as a slayer...or something like that.

It all seemed like a good idea at the time.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [lunalurker] • Date [6 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from Oranda
Review:
Awesome ending. I thought it wrapped things up pretty nicely. Congratulations on completing another great installment. Can't wait to see your next project.

Side note: Ignore those haters and don't let them tell you what to wright. Unless they are saying to get back to Dies the Fire.
Comments from author:
Thank-you.

I wouldn't call them 'haters' everyone is entitled to their opinion however misguided I might think they are ;)

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Oranda] • Date [3 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from (Current Donor)vladt
Review:
very fine read, thank you.
Comments from author:
Thank-you,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [2 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from Letomo
Review:
My problem with the ending is that the law doesn't work that way. Any crimes that Buffy did that were still actionable this much later would have a much higher sentence; any crimes with a sentence so low would not be actionable this much later.

Additionally, it is not that easy to pass a law as overarching as you are suggesting. If nothing else, all it takes is one 'mini-Slayer' and her family disagreeing, and getting the ACLU involved, and the masquerade is gone.

Oh, and in regards to Dana/Faith being a super-soldier, well, if Walsh tried out this experimental process and it succeeded as well as Faith did, why would they stop and move on to demon/android hybrids, unless Faith was the only success out of a pool of failures? And the reason she succeeded? Because she became infused with the Slayer spirit!

Otherwise, there would be another Slayer walking around during that time period.
Comments from author:
I had it on good authority that US law does work this way and could be made to work this way. The short sentence was due to Buffy having saved the world (mitigating circumstances I think its called) on more than one occasion.

Over here you are supposed to have a TV licence before you can watch TV as it is broadcast. The thing is the only way the government has of Knowing you've got a TV is if you tell them. Many years ago the USAF told its female pilots that they couldn't fly if they were having their periods. Result, a bunch of women who never had periods! The point is if they never tell the government doesn't know.

Also as this is set a few weeks/months after the 'law' has been passed the unintended consequences won't have worked themselves through the system.

Due to contact with the Mayor, Faith's loyalties started to slip. Also Walsh was one test tube short of a science set so who knows what she was thinking?

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Letomo] • Date [2 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from djhardim
Review:
It occurs to me that the best way to have handled the Scoobies would have been to have moved Faith to another reality all together and have forgotten them.
Comments from author:
not something that occurred to me at the time.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [2 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from (Current Donor)vladt
Review:
very good chapter. great ending to the chapter. thanks for the fine read.
Comments from author:
Thank-you.

You seem to be in a minority here so your review is more than usually welcome.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [2 Mar 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from michaelangelo
Review:
That was way cool, I can't decide whether I'm happy or sad over that ending. The evil Amy had me giggling, bit shocked over the evil Xander, not many of those around. I was almost expecting Willow to end the world by constantly changing history, an infinite cycle of do overs.

I'd like to thank you for your amazing stories, you're a brilliant writer.
Comments from author:
Thank-you for saying so, but even I admit to wobbling a bit on this one.

AS I've mentioned previously I wanted to draw a line under Faith's 'past'...this seemed like the best way of doing it.

The idea for everything getting screwed up comes from a Farscape episode where every time they tried to change the past for the better it just made things worse!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [michaelangelo] • Date [1 Mar 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from BarbarossaRotbart
Review:
I really, really hate this ending!!!! And all because of those Xander fanatics!

EDIT: But that does not change the fact that the whole reset part of the story is the weakest part of the whole series. It seems that you have forgotten, that Willow learned the lesson about magic in the summer between season 6 and 7 and thus would never try to do such a selfish thing rewrite history. Please, change this terrible ending.
Comments from author:
No, I never listen to fanatics. I just thought this ending was more evil than what I'd got planned originally.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [BarbarossaRotbart] • Date [1 Mar 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fourteen." from starsteel
Review:
I said it back when I reviewed Chapter 3:

Review Date [10 Feb 13] • Rating [9/10]
Review by starsteel
Willow's idea will end badly, very very very badly.
Comments from author:
Maybe not 'very, very very badly'. Perhaps just 'very badly'!

Cheers,
D.

----

I think this ended very, very very badly, for everyone except Xander, that is.
Comments from author:
Thanks,
D.
Review By [starsteel] • Date [28 Feb 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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