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Harry Potter and the echo of the White Witch.

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Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from (Recent Donor)drdeth
Great story, I hope sometime that you write the other side of this story.
Comments from author:
Maybe once a couple other projects are finished.
Review By [(Recent Donor)drdeth] • Date [15 Oct 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from UnscathedAnimal
Wow, that was like a breath of fresh air. The ellipses are being used properly in Chapter 2 and I can visualize people having normal conversations again. :)

Just to check, I did a "find in browser" for "..." in Chapter one and two. Two uses just 16 Ellipses, mostly in the first few paragraphs. Chapter One used 275. Ugh.

Anywho. Really liking this story a lot, kind of hoping for Harry and Hermione to pair up. But this is only Chapter two of ten with a decent word count, I immagine SOMETHING is going to go wrong here. THE DRAMA! :D

I'm off to continue reading now. Ta!~~
Comments from author:
Yeah, there were way too much Ellipses in chapter one. :)

Good luck with the rest of the story.
Review By [UnscathedAnimal] • Date [8 Oct 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from UnscathedAnimal
I've been enjoying this story so far but even so I couldn't even make it halfway through the first chapter before having to write this. Your love affair with ellipses is making everyone sound like they're trailing off twice per sentence. They all sound emo and depressed and unsure of themselves. And by "they" I mean everyone who is overloaded on ellipses (FYI, that's the "..." thing), which of course means EVERYONE. The vast majority of them could have easily been replaced by commas or periods, with NO loss of meaning and MUCH improved writing.

I know this fic is completed, but please fix this anyways. It's going to drive me insane, and I'm surprised it hasn't driven everyone ELSE insane already.
Comments from author:
I'm not really sure what I was working on at the time with the ... or if I was trying to cause people to go insane. I might have been or I might have just been abusing it a bit much in that story. The funny part is, I'm fairly sure there are less than there used to be but I'll see. I might have to take a look see the next time I read through it.
Review By [UnscathedAnimal] • Date [8 Oct 14] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from rdmcmains
Only found this story after you finished it, but just read chapter 2 after saving the whole thing, and had a thought.

Harry and Hermione decided to go with books about magical photography instead of asking Colin, and I thought, "What if Andrew had dressed as Colin?" Scary thought, right? Two fanboys merged together. If I'd found this story while you were still writing it, I'd have suggested Hermione mentioning the possibilty in a 'count your lucky stars' fashion to Harry.

Still, after just 2 chapters, I'm loving this story, and now I'm going to go back to the rest of it.
Comments from author:
Yeah that would have been bad. Andrew and Colin mixed together would have been weird...
Review By [rdmcmains] • Date [23 Sep 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from twlight
This is a wonderful wonderful wonderful story. I love that Harry was able to do so much in such a short amount of time. I do have to say that the whole immortal thing has me a bit confused as in the beginning of the story the gang was in High School and it was in the first season when they got turned into their costumes, so how did the hundreds of hundreds of years come to be? I have to say that I find myself hoping for a sequel.
Comments from author:
They basically sent older 'memories' back intentionally via magic. As for a sequel, there are a number of things on the list before that.
Review By [twlight] • Date [31 Aug 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from Bill
Very well done!
Comments from author:
Thank you.
Review By [Bill] • Date [10 Jul 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
“Mad Eye is off his medication and looking to have some fun.”
That ranks right up there with 'Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw.'

I'm not sure Buffy would ever use the word 'Glory' in a speech,
but the rest was good.

What the hell happened to Godric anyway? He's the hat isn't her?
Comments from author:
I really loved the my dog found the chainsaw line.

I realized that later for the glory bit.


Edit: Yes on the hat bit. And I changed the Earth and Glory to Death to the demons...
Thanks for the suggestions.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Some nice character development with

Ya gotta love giant mutant rats!
Comments from author:
Yep mutant rats for the win.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
OK, Harry's dead and we have a
Willow clone with a taste for
eleven year old girls.

The 'Romance' with Ginny is just
as rushed and poorly done as canon.

Have you actually watched BtVS
or is this a radically different
BtVS you are crossing with? Willow
cheated on her boyfriend with Xander
who she lusted after since she hit

Jekyll and Hyde was actually
used in an episode of Buffy.
I think it was 3rd season.

Very nice use of the cup and the ministry
searching the vault to complicate things.
Comments from author:
I've watched Buffy, the memories they got were a bit off of Buffy standard yes.

Sorry if I rushed things with Ginny.

I figured the ministry should complicate things because that's what they're there for after all.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Nice use of Snape, it fit without going overboard.
Comments from author:
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Most of it being a prank helps to a
degree, but sticking his mother's
underwear in his mouth and his parting
comment were still creepy. The whole
behavior towards Ginny thing isn't any
less creepy either.

I think using his girl form to leer at
her while naked is going to cause a lot
more problems between them the whole
BWL crap.

Why is Harry pulling a double shift anyway?
There really doesn't seem to be a point to
it except for all the girls to suddenly be
Bisexual around him. I suppose it also adds
another way he can be attacked and a new
level of danger to his life, but that seems
like something he would avoid.
Comments from author:
Yeah, it's got a lot to do with how messed up he is with more Willow time than Harry time and some other stuff.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Willow also knows how to fly.

He snorted as he noticed a large wooden sign propped up
against the snake’s face. He read the headmaster’s sign.
‘Harry, if you’re reading this come talk to me about the
proceeds from the sale of the basilisk parts and your
detention for being out of bounds.’ Harry sighed as he
realized that this had never happened in the book. “Well


The scenes with Ginny and the Malfoys was pretty disturbing.
Adult fetish behavior that shows a Willow slightly around the
bend not a Harry with Willow's memories.
Comments from author:
I figured it made a certain amount of sense for Dumbledore to put up a sign like that. You want your money fess up. :)

And yeah... There was a lot of Willow memories and she's not exactly sane.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Don't forget Willow's own love of learning and books.
Harry really should be competing with Hermione for the
bookworm spot.

I like the way you portray the Weasleys and Albus.
Comments from author:
He should have been but at the same point, I think it was more important for her. He should have stepped up a bit more so that she had someone that make her work that much more for it.

Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
How does having Buffy's memories make Luna know something
doesn't exist in the HPverse? They have skeletal horses
that require witnessing death to be able to see, that really
opens the doors to what might exist.

Dawn suddenly being bi with a crush on Willow comes off as
really forced. You would have done better having Hermione
uncertain about her own interests and leaning towards the
new Harry.

Other than those two complaints I enjoyed it.
Comments from author:
You raise a point about that for Luna... she might have just assumed that Buffy's info was wrong. Probably more likely given Luna...

I'll have to take a look at the relationships again to see what I can learn.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from WordWizard
Just read the story and oh my god! Brilliant! Please, please say that there's a sequel coming. Maybe it could even have some Hermione/Willow-form Harry goodness too. Keep up the awesome work.
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you enjoyed the story, creating a sequel to this story is probably third or fourth on the list of projects... might happen might not... we'll see. I've got some other things I want to finish first.
Review By [WordWizard] • Date [26 Dec 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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