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An Undecided Start

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Review of chapter "Distance" from myrddyn
Review:
you really have to get this updated! i'd like to see willow and the guys working on
the holograms next with the engineering holos active they'd be able to fix the ship faster!
having them active would be better for when they meet up with sg1 and the asgard!
Review By [myrddyn] • Date [15 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Meep!" from DieselDriver
Review:
This is certainly an interesting twist on things.

Your note about traveling 30 miles to work and 30 back struck me as incredibly funny. I commuted 90 miles each way for over 10 years at my final job before retiring. Drove a 1981 mustang for the first year, then got a honda goldwing, that lasted 2 years then I got a 650 Suzuki Vstrom, put 87,000 miles on it in less than 5 years and spent the last years commuting on a burman 650, and various trucks and cars, the best of which was a 98 Ford Escort ZX2. Quick and good fuel mileage. 33 mpg running about 75 mph when I could. Heh, I raced a Ferrari with it during rush hour traffic on the 405 Freeway one afternoon. I think I really pissed the guy off, because every time he got a clear spot he'd hit about 7500 RPM before shifting. But Ferrari's are WIDE and my escort could go through traffic openings he couldn't. So I kept getting ahead of him. I did it as much to hear him wind the Ferrari engine up as I did to actually get home quicker.

Funny to have Willow in a non technical role. I'm sure she'll manage. Star Fleet captains were nothing if not versatile.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [15 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from BlueEyedJedi
Review:
So Snyder is just a Role that the actor Behind Quark was trapped into playing, will you be exploring how that happened?

Xander is now Samantha Carter's Brother, That means several things: Willow will have tag partner in pushing him to do good in school, Sam may join with Buffy to make a Xander/Willow pairing, Xander may join Jennifer Hailey at the Air Force Academy, The Prometheus will get a Bro/Sis team of engineers, the options are infinite.

TTFN
Comments from author:
Yep, but not much. Mostly tell than show (no flashbacks). And, to avoid certain rules here on TTH against use of real people, his name is Zimmerman, not Shimmerman... which is appropriate, kinda, since the Z name is used a few times in the show >_>.

Xander became a person who doesn't actually exist, because her had one of Gen. Carter's nametags. However, he and Sam are not genetically siblings... though General Carter will somehow know who xander is. Which I just decided on writing this reply.

The group would mostly skip school, due to, ah, educational upgrades.

Just remembered, the job Buffy got at the rebuilt school... and who she dressed as? :P Unintentional, but nice symmetry.

Sam wont have much interest in pairings, but Buffy with, ah, her psychological training, will get hints of Xander's fading feelings for her, lack of for willow, and growing for cordelia. If anything, that's a canon pairing I firmly want to keep. Willow, of all of the group, is going to have the shock of her trek character changing her own feelings... part of the integration of the new personality.

You might have it the wrong way around, I think, though I haven't planned all that far ahead. Xander already has the experience from the USAFA.

Willow doesn't need school, with her intelligence. Remember, she covered for miss Calendar after she died, and all indications point to that continuing to the end of that school year at least. And covering all the lessons meant she wouldn't be in class...
combine those implications with, starfleet education upgrades...

Buffy does well, despite slayer hours, and she's got the starfleet upgrade too...

Xander's got the USAF officer training package which includes degrees or whatever, so, yeah, he dont need schooling either. But he would the starfleet stuff to join the Prometheus.
Review By [BlueEyedJedi] • Date [18 Jun 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Distance" from BlueEyedBrigadier
Review:
[Edited for double post]
Review By [BlueEyedBrigadier] • Date [16 Jun 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Distance" from BlueEyedBrigadier
Review:
I really think this story has a lot of promise going for it, Alex, for helping Willow develop a level of confidence and maturity she was lacking in Season 2 of BtVS, especially since having the memories of a Starfleet officer would help temper some of her intellectual arrogance that led to her later issues with believing herself able to use magics way above her experience level.

However, I will be polite but honest and say that I found the story so far a bit difficult to read at times between spelling or word use mistakes - leaving off the 'er' in Julian Bashir's rank in Chapter 1, misspelling the word 'ally' when referring to Thor in Chapter 2 - and due to how choppy the chapters come off when reading. Now, it could be an intentional writing style thing, since almost everything so far is from Willow's POV and she's coping with a merged personality and a lack of sleep until Chapter 2 and having her be all scatter-shot in her thinking and behaviour would certainly work; I just personally found it a bit too distracting, especially when references and clues are being made that probably will get pay off later on but seem like complete non-sequiturs.

Still, the hidden diamond of Awesome is still here and I can't wait to see where things go!
Comments from author:
I know my style can be considered choppy, though it is not intentional, not to a great degree anyway. As for spelling, grammar and so on, I usually get the major stuff out of the way and post, and edit little bits as they're pointed out.

The Scatter shot thing you pointed out... I'll be modest and say it was not intentional, though certainly helps set a tone for how willow is.

Glad you like it anyway, and hope you like the other parts. I'm going to purposefully try not to get the rewrite for Xand's story not so, choppy.
Review By [BlueEyedBrigadier] • Date [16 Jun 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Distance" from Genuka
Review:
You gonna follow through on the story via the other one? Cuz it would be a real shame to loose this story idea/line.
Comments from author:
yep. rewriting stargazing. And then I'll be writing one for Buffy, but I need a bit of help on that one, due to the idea where with buffy, she's had the most stable merging with the leftovers from her costume. As you can see, Willow's is... not quite there. Also, kinda wondering whether or not I should write a fourth part covering halloween itself.

Then hopefully, I can wrap up setting up the whole 'theyre on a star trek ship but have no power' thing.
1. Willow's - An Undecided Start
2. Xander's - Stargazing
3. Buffy's - ?
4. Group - ?? - major stargate crossover.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [15 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Distance" from banditdoz
Review:
Nice rewrite thanks
:-)
Comments from author:
thanks.
Review By [banditdoz] • Date [15 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prologue" from fanreaderonetwo
Review:
Pardon me if you were thinking of the weapon's _weight_ while I thinking of explosive power. Note that in the story Sam refers only to the weight of the AM (one kilogram), not to the kilogram of AM _plus_ everything needed for its safe containment.

"Sam shook her head. “Just one kilogram of Antimatter has almost the same yield as the twenty-seven kilogram Tsar Bomb... And based on, what I’ve read... a Galaxy Class ship of the mid-twenty-fourth century uses one point three four six kilograms per minute.”

1346 grams x 42.96 kilotons of TNT (per gram) = 57,824.16 kilotons per minute

Also note that I _presume_ that the Tsar Bomb was built as a "technical demonstration" device and maybe something to scare the US and the rest of the world with (bogeyman) rather than intended to be a practical weapon. So no idea what a _deliverable_ Soviet early 1960s 50+ megaton weapon would _weigh_.

Note the first detonation of a US _fusion_ (hydrogen) bomb was Ivy Mike in November 1952 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivy_Mike
"Due to its physical size and fusion fuel type (cryogenic liquid deuterium), the Mike device was not suitable for use as a weapon; it was intended as an extremely conservative experiment to validate the concepts used for multi-megaton detonations."
"The 62-ton "Mike" device (plus another 20 tons of gear needed to make it work) was essentially a building that resembled a factory rather than a weapon. It has been reported that Russian engineers derisively referred to Mike as a "thermonuclear installation".[1] At its center, a very large cylindrical thermos flask or cryostat, held the cryogenic deuterium fusion fuel. A regular fission bomb (the "primary") at one end was used to create the conditions needed to initiate the fusion reaction."

Obvious no one thought of the Mike device as a deliverable weapon.

By contrast 18 months later the US detonated the prototype of the first _deliverable_ US fusion bomb, Castle Bravo. It was a relative light weight at only 23,500lbs, and led to the Mark 21 fusion weapon carried by the USA B36 bomber.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Bravo
Comments from author:
Well excuse me for referring to the tsar bomb with good reason when I could have used a US bomb instead. -_-

The TNG manual stated the volume of AM in the 30 pods. Not the overall volume of pod and AM. The wiki page uses tsar bomb for comparison. My math is sound. The error in the story was three missing zeroes. I don't get what your point is when your math susports it too.
Review By [fanreaderonetwo] • Date [15 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Distance" from Bobboky
Review:
nice work
Comments from author:
Thanks, I didn't think so hence the rewrite ;p
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [14 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Distance" from (Current Donor)RngrThorne
Review:
A rather interesting tale you have here. I look forward to more.


So? Where is it? More! More! ;-)
Comments from author:
About 60 miles from me.
Review By [(Current Donor)RngrThorne] • Date [14 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from fanreaderonetwo
Review:
re your oops about the Tsar Bomb

I think you missed _six_ zeroes not just three, as even a 27,000 kilogram HE bomb isn't _that_ scary. Note the real life USAF MOAB bomb is in that range of KABOOM. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GBU-43/B_Massive_Ordnance_Air_Blast_bomb

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antimatter_weapon

States that "Quantities measured in grams will be required to achieve destructive effect comparable with conventional nuclear weapons; one gram of antimatter annihilating with one gram of matter produces 180 terajoules, the equivalent of 42.96 kilotons of TNT (approximately 3 times the bomb dropped on Hiroshima - and as such enough to power an average city for an extensive amount of time)."

So 1000 grams, or one kilogram of AM would equal 42.96 megatons.

Noting that sometimes Wikipedia isn't too reliable a source.



copied from previous review...............

Sam shook her head. “Just one kilogram of Antimatter has almost the same yield as the twenty-seven kilogram Tsar Bomb"...

Wikipedia says that the real life Soviet "Tsar Bomb" detonated in 1961 was 57 _megatons_, which bears _zero_ resemblance to "twenty-seven _kilogram_". So is this a typo and you meant to say megatons (27 or 57), or you wrote what you meant to and I'm missing something?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_Bomba

Comments from author:

It's wat was on the page for antimatter. I guess its comparingpphysical size...?
I'll have to check it out on monday.

Edit. Crap the bomb was 27000 . Forgot to add thousand in. Can't change till Monday.
Comments from author:
Nd Note that I'm talking in terms of physical weight. I calculated from weight due to the TNG tech manual using volume but to get there I had to convert to weight of those volumes at stable temperature and pressure.
From the total weight capacity and established range I got the figures. Wikipedia gives the physical weight of the tsar bomb at 27k-kg. With equivalent yield from am, you need just over 1kg.
Review By [fanreaderonetwo] • Date [14 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Distance" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Great finish!
Comments from author:
normally i dont like angst fests.... which is why i've tried not to have willow wallow in it too much. wordplay not intended.
here, it just seemed like the perfect spot - its not a high or a low note. The gang is together again, with several roles now seemingly reversed.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [14 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Distance" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Good work on the re-written chapters (definite improvements in many respects, and the whole story hangs together better), and on this latest chapter. I really, REALLY want to find out what happens next.
Comments from author:
Next is rewriting xansets part and adding in Buffy's part.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [14 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from fanreaderonetwo
Review:
Either I'm confused (possible) or you to correct/clarify this....
"Sam shook her head. “Just one kilogram of Antimatter has almost the same yield as the twenty-seven kilogram Tsar Bomb"...

Wikipedia says that the real life Soviet "Tsar Bomb" detonated in 1961 was 57 _megatons_, which bears _zero_ resemblance to "twenty-seven _kilogram_". So is this a typo and you meant to say megatons (27 or 57), or you wrote what you meant to and I'm missing something?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_Bomba
Comments from author:
It's wat was on the page for antimatter. I guess its comparingpphysical size...?
I'll have to check it out on monday.

Edit. Crap the bomb was 27000 . Forgot to add thousand in. Can't change till Monday.
Review By [fanreaderonetwo] • Date [14 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Meep!" from Rich
Review:
Interesting start; You've got the characters down pretty well, and you've come up with a new twist. I've read several of the "Ship of the Line" stories (and this challenge is a variation of that one), but I don't recall any that used Quark/Snyder as a character.

I can see two possibilities:
1. This is Armin Shimmerman, and neither Snyder not Quark, or ;
2. Quark got got in some kind of time-travel situation (which I think actuaklly happened once on the show), and went undercover as a human, and has remained so for several years - IOW, Snyder was really Quark all along
Comments from author:
With trek actors, especially those that have appeared in btvs and sg as different characters, i am using that a bit more than just a one off line.

Snyder is a good example.


Now, think of how long it could take to film a season of trek. keeping in mind, Just because its 26 episodes of trek in a season in real life doesnt automatically equate to 26 episode of trek in a season in BTVS. Most others go 22 episodes. Which... five-six episodes in a month (concurrent filming when possible) 4 months. Meh, that's what I'm sticking to.

So 4 months... and DS9 films from say, May, through to August... this means then, that snyder could disappear every so often, and play Quark. Assume some other cast members know of his predicament {including some crew in this example to make sure he doesnt need to be filming on school days if production overruns}... well.


Here, Aron (Nog) knows and, given assurances that 'its the quiet night for the undead, the kids will have fun and there are safeguards in place so no one is hurt... well.


1. This is an actor who got suckered into having to play snyder. His name may or may not be Armin Shimmerman. Willow and co will always refer to him as Snyder.

2 nope.
Review By [Rich] • Date [2 Jun 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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