Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Stargazing

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DieselDriver
Review:
Definitely worth continuing. I have put tracking on to see new chapters. Hope you are having fun writing it because it's fun to read.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [15 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from CageFire
Review:
Hmm, interesting. Although both stories seem rather disjointed in some places and it's a little confusing.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [22 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from darkplayer
Review:
Interesting start. I look forward to seeing how the whole aftermath of Halloween develops further. Keep up the great work and it has potential. Please update soon.
Comments from author:
working on the rewrite for Stargazing. the current version is too light on writing around dialogue.
Review By [darkplayer] • Date [29 May 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Gideon
Review:
I hope Xander's headaches start to decrease soon. And has he noticed that Willow is missing too?
I would say that he has managed to attract Carter's attention with that phone call though. What is the bet she will follow up in person?
Comments from author:
1. Only if he consciously tries not to use the gained intelligence upgrade. It's kind of hardwired into his system without the appropriate 'Capacity upgrade'... like what happened with Jack and the Ancient database, only headaches instead of comas/loss of function.

2. At some unstated point in chapter one, at latest before the phone call. He's kind of juggling a few issues here.

3. I tried to get some takers, but they all said it was a sure thing and I can't just take bets on one result...
:P
Review By [Gideon] • Date [29 May 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Genuka
Review:
BWahahahahahaha!!!! Migraine material for both sides! More!
Comments from author:
Yep.

*evil face*
Review By [Genuka] • Date [29 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Recent Donor)nerfherder
Review:
Oh, sooo sweet! THis can be abused soooooo much! Have fun with it! You do know all their calls are monitored, right? And the NID is always monitoring them...
Comments from author:
In the rewrite I'm starting, the NID wouldn't be able to monitor it, as 'Alexander Carter' knew about them and Xander would realise this as he was about to call the first time, so makes sure it's secure before he does.
Review By [(Recent Donor)nerfherder] • Date [28 May 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Looking forward to seeing where this goes! :)
Comments from author:
I'm aiming for:

Hammond greeted Jacob with a smile, "Jacob, I've got good news."

"Oh?"

"It's a boy."

"Huh? who's had a kid?"

Amused, Hammond replied, "You did, apparently. The DNA tests confirm that a young man in california, who two months ago was *not* related at all to the carter family... is now your son." Hammond lost his amusement a little, and continued, "We're still investigating, but Jack has already said if you dont officially adopt the kid, he will. His... birth parents... are not exactly shining stars of humanity."



huh, that went a tiny bit longer than I thought I'd do (I was gonna end at 'its a boy'.)
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [28 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Bobboky
Review:
Very good
Comments from author:
thanks
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [28 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from djhardim
Review:
Good. One question -

"Buffy blinked as the broken off nib from the pencil was indeed, floating. In fact, she was that focused, she didn't realize she had just passed Xander a handkerchief."

I get the impression that Xander's brain isn't wired to handle what he's been given. Am I correct in assuming that trying to use his new gifts can lead to nosebleeds?
Comments from author:
Yep. While others - like Snyder - are stuck physically, there will be others stuck mentally in various ways. Xander is in the "I'm physically me, and I'm me, but I've got the software upgrade without the 'wetware' to handle it."

Basically, like what happens when you try to drive a car with a broken radiator fan.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [28 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Very good, very, very good.
Comments from author:
thanks. It can be better though, so today I'll be re-writing both prologues and chapters 1 for the two stories,
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [28 May 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from VillageOrchid
Review:
An interesting problem story - and you're hinting at a brain bruise or some other kind of injury? Planning on having Xander die young? (You said sad ending)
Comments from author:
No. He's not gonna die...

Think on this: Giles only knew what was going on that night because willow told him, a willow who couldn't get hurt because she was, sort of, dead already, and a ghost.

But since Willow dressed as a star trek captain, Buffy as something else you'll know if you read the series introduction (hence her role in this story so far ;) ) and that none of them were close when the spell hit (carried over from canon there) the likelyhood of them getting together is small...

I'd say the only person who would know what to do would be Cordelia.
Oh, wait... I have plans for her too...

They were all roughed up a bit by the various kids who dressed as monsters.

Which is why Xander ignores it... the first time he had no clue it was an overclocking-heat problem, to use a computer example. He does figure it out quickly, though. HE can't not, he's smarter now. Just with a side order of "my brain hurts when I think and now I'm thinking how thats possible aaaoooowwwww oh that's why... *whimper**"

It's... not tumor, bruise, etc. If you've read Maureen Thayer's "What you Already Know" stories, you'll get what I'm referring to, only thinking on willow's former level and beyond hurts.

Sad ending to the prologue, due to the hint about a problem he'll have. not sad ending altogether, :P
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [27 May 13] • Not Rated
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking