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Winter

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from scottyboy
Review:
Hope to see this continued at some point.
Review By [scottyboy] • Date [18 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AriaDragoncrest
Review:
Good start
Review By [AriaDragoncrest] • Date [6 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from wintergoddess
Review:
I liked this chapter a lot
Review By [wintergoddess] • Date [27 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from physicsteach
Review:
Intriguing start, nicely sets up Hermione as the P.O.V. character. If you don't mind some constructive criticism, you broke P.O.V. with the fist paragraph after the asterisk break, and cutting that paragraph lets the reader discover "Professor Winter's" interest (and point) along with Hermione. That's a classic example of the "show, don't tell" advice for writing fiction; just let the reader experience the events and draw their own conclusions about motives and such.
Comments from author:
Thank you!
I don't mind constructive criticism at all, (in fact I welcome it,) but I'm afraid I don't have the literary skill or cohesion to keep this story to a single point of view.
Dawn is actually my main character, and as such if I were to edit this it would be Hermione's POV that I would remove instead of Miss Winter's. As is, I'm afraid I'll continue to sample POVs from other students in this story and attempt to clean up my next story before I've committed to the layout.
Review By [physicsteach] • Date [8 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from MBB
Review:
a nice ficlet

not sure if you keep going in this direction, but i do like the concept of a teacher dealing out personalized extra credit assignments
Review By [MBB] • Date [8 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from JJDudeman
Review:
Kind of intriguing - question though! The report is sort of related to the class in a roundabout way? :-) Okay. Which class?
Comments from author:
DADA. I know house elves aren't dark creatures, but I think (at the very least) that being respectful of other cultures/creatures is a good way to avoid offending them, and that on a larger level, understanding the strengths, weaknesses, and peculiarities of what you're fighting has always been a big part of staying alive in Sunnydale.
Review By [JJDudeman] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from SymCan
Review:
Interesting beginning. Like someone telling Hermione to check her facts first re house elves, yet in a gentle way. Don't see that too often. Looking forward to where this goes.
Comments from author:
Thanks. That's a big part of why I wanted to write this. I feel like there isn't someone in the HP universe that can properly articulate how heavy-handed Hermione is about that without sounding dismissive. I think Dawn is the right sort to call her on her issues while still understanding.
Review By [SymCan] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from trongod
Review:
Good start, but not really placing the ear it tales place - obviously after Third, as Hermione's already started S.P.E.W., but other than that? Blank here... and I ain't re reading the freaking C.F. series again to narrow it down...

/Although/.. if, perchance, you are completely AU on the timeline, Hermione could have started her House Elf Rights during the summer after Second year after hearing from harry how Dobby was treated and such-like... The earlier the Au starts the better, as far as this Most Humble Reader believes.

Hoping for updated - and a tad longer - chapters ASAP!
Comments from author:
I'm about 95% sure this is set fifth year, but I doubt it will follow the plot of the book at all. Winter is the unlikely love child of a green pen and a late night Cog. Psych class, so I didn't do a lot of fact checking during development.
Review By [trongod] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)CaptainBoulanger
Review:
Nice start. It would be funny if Dawn starts dropping into her American accent *and* lets Hermione call her by her first name - then Hermione tells the boys about her new American friend and they think she's imaginary because they don't realize who she's talking about.
Comments from author:
Haha, that would be funny! Not where I'm going with this, but I would probably read that fic.
Review By [(Current Donor)CaptainBoulanger] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Inoeth
Review:
This story has real promise. I hope you don't 'bash' any characters as a means of having Dawn end up at Hogwarts... Additionally, i'm very curious about Dawn and her ability to use magic and how you're going to blend HP and BtVS magic types and when exactly this is taking place.

All in all, i'll keep an eye on this given it's potential and well written first chapter.
Comments from author:
I'm afraid this will have at least some Buffy bashing. Sorry if that puts you off! It takes place post season 7 in Buffy, and either in Harry's third or fifth year. I haven't fully formed my magical theories yet, but they will most likely be treated as entirely separate systems.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Inoeth] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from ChaosLady
Review:
Sounds promising.
Review By [ChaosLady] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Genuka
Review:
Brilliant opening. I look forward to discovering where this goes.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Bobboky
Review:
Very good chapter
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AllenPitt
Review:
I'm assuming "Winters" does have a wand & can use it; didn't get a letter at 11 because she didn't exist back then? I'm sad to here she's felt she had to 'run off' to get away from buffy, maybe they can patch things up someday....
So, she's a former green ball of energy, that makes for a magical core I suppose; Avada K. is a bolt of 'green energy'.... any relationship?
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Elorie
Review:
Great potential - but how does "Winter" get around the wand issue?
Comments from author:
Miss Winters has her own wand, which she acquired before she got her job at Hogwarts.
Glad you're liking it so far!
Review By [Elorie] • Date [6 Jun 13] • Not Rated
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