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Gratuitous Self-Insert : The Exiled

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Review of chapter "Leaks of Water, Income, and Disappearances..." from raxadian
Review:
Six months there and just now he finds something weird?
Comments from author:
Hey! My OC had to like, totally remake his life and try to let go of what happened to him in the past so he was prolly just a little too focused on what he was trying to do to really notice and a little too disillusioned about hunanity in general to really give a frak until he could begin a new routine for himself. Remember that this guy is is still in a lot of emotional turmoil over having lost custody of his children and losing all his friends and family. With nothing left for him in Texas that wouldn't fill him with pain he had to go find a new life for himself; Sunnydale has given him the chance to start over so he's taking advantage of that chance. Noticing all the weirdness will eventually come, but first he has to start getting over all that anguish while still dealing with anxiety and depression; he is a disabled veteran of the armed forces, but nobody in Sunnydale or even in the state of California knows that, so he has to find work and still deal with his disorder, which will be a tall order for him.

Hope that put things in perspective for you...
Review By [raxadian] • Date [9 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Fear and Loathing in Sunnydale High..." from raxadian
Review:
You love doing descriptions, donĀ“t you?
Comments from author:
Did you like the one about the principal's secretary?
Review By [raxadian] • Date [9 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One - Prologue" from raxadian
Review:
He have up heath care? Idiot.
Comments from author:
He would still have been traceable by it, which would have clued people in to his old identity. Remember that forging a new identity is a Federal offense.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [9 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Leaks of Water, Income, and Disappearances..." from Harry
Review:
This guy had better NOT go out at night if he knows what is good for him. He'll end up a vampire victim if he does.
Comments from author:
Your concern for me is touching, but given my foreknowledge of the sitch in good ol' Sunny D I think I'll manage well enough.
Review By [Harry] • Date [9 Jul 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Fear and Loathing in Sunnydale High..." from (Current Donor)Ironbear
Review:
I'll check it out, thanks.

" I assume you have my stories tracked?"

I do now. I didn't realized you'd written anything before until I happened to see this one go by on "Latest stories" and I went, "Huh, I know that usernick. Hasn't he commented on a couple of my things? Let's take a look." ;)

Good stuff. ;)
Comments from author:
Usernick? Lol, that's a first...get it, though. Username and nickname. Yup.
Review By [(Current Donor)Ironbear] • Date [20 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Fear and Loathing in Sunnydale High..." from shakeval
Review:
it's always the janitor or the maintenance guy that should be feared, they are always the most dangerous, easily underestimated and often overlooked, all be wary for a new opponent enters the ring.

That boiler room will be needing an extra heavy duty door and lock, don't want hooligans causing problems.

those easily accessible incoming mains power line box, those need to be gated off and locked up.

why is there sewer access inside the building, in the library no less, that will need to be taken care of, not up to code.

i'm sure there are dozens and dozens of small and large changes that could be made around the place to bring it 'up to code' and cause all sorts of havoc for further plot points during the rest of the story.
Comments from author:
Alright! Heh heh heh, thanks for the hint, now how to write that in Nineteenth Century American prose...?

And you're absolutely correct; it's always the one that's ignored what turns out to be the greater threat to the established malevolent order...and Mayor Wilkins won't be happy with the maintenance head's recommendations, as Snyder, by our heretofore established prescience, is not the king of the hill he fancies himself to be.
Review By [shakeval] • Date [20 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Fear and Loathing in Sunnydale High..." from (Current Donor)Ironbear
Review:
Interesting start. I added this to the stories I'm following to see where you end up with it.

Going by the title and the non-crossover tag, the PoV character is an O.C.? You seem to have a good handle on the First Person narrative PoV.
Comments from author:
You may also wish to read the series "The Tragedy of Dawn Summers", which is an interesting take on a "what if" scenario, that being the presumption that Willow Rosenberg secretly remained evil, and then corrupted and empowered Dawn for the single purpose of eliminating the Slayer line...crosses over with Star Wars elements, but with none of the Star Wars characters or the Star Wars stories themselves. I assume you have my stories tracked?
Review By [(Current Donor)Ironbear] • Date [20 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Fear and Loathing in Sunnydale High..." from shakeval
Review:
i see a possible accident happening to snyder within a couple chapters 'maintenance issues' you see, gave him a good list of problems and he tried to prioritize things.

with your other work i'm hoping this will turn out to be an enjoyable read
Comments from author:
Thanks. I have always admired the style of the classic authors of the nineteenth century, and was it not said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? The style is simple, yet very detailed. If you've ever read Herman Melville or Edgar Allan Poe, then you know what I am talking about. I am currently reading "The House of the Seven Gables" by Nathaniel Hawthorne, and it displays his literary and prosaic talents as well as "The Scarlet Letter" did at the time of its publishing. I have read Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and Robert Louis Stevenson, whose works live on to this day, and I am glad for it. I only hope that my own efforts can compare in some small manner, though the pale shadow of my work may ever be eclipsed by the examples of the great masters of literature, but am conscious of the evidence that in the doing of the deed I shall learn the direction in which I might take my efforts in the studies of literary philosophy, and thus I shall know by degrees the hearts and the minds of those whom I may dare to emulate.
Review By [shakeval] • Date [19 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Fear and Loathing in Sunnydale High..." from Rich
Review:
It's too early to judge the plot; but this is a good start and I like the style. You've obviously put some thought into your character and it will be interesting to see his take on the Sunnydale situation.
Comments from author:
I'll have to do a slight change in one minor detail for the sake of simply making sense, but otherwise I thought I wrote a decent chapter.

Just don't read into it TOO much; there's a reason for calling it a Self Insert, after all...

Edit/Reply 21OCT2013: Correction has been made, so now it should make more sense.
Review By [Rich] • Date [18 Oct 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Fear and Loathing in Sunnydale High..." from Harry
Review:
Well, this guy is about to learn what Sunnydale is all about. Starting with that TROLL Herr Snyder!
Comments from author:
Nah...starting with his sexy sec! I like the fortysomething chicks with the othercolored hair...like blue or purple or any shade thereof...very pretty! If Katy Perry can pull it off and still look normal, then any girl worth her salt can do it too, no matter what her age!

Oh, and where Snyder's concerned, it's either "rodent" or "homunculus"...lol
Review By [Harry] • Date [18 Oct 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One - Prologue" from TroyGuffey
Review:
How do you get a new legal SSN divorced from your old ID?
Comments from author:
Not important to the story as yet, but I'll figure it out in time for it to come up again...

Thanks for the review...
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [5 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One - Prologue" from Harry
Review:
A interesting little tale. Now, did he survive the destruction of the original Sunnydale H.S and the eventual destruction of the town or not?
Comments from author:
Story got quarantined for a violation of Rule 10 - forgot to add a disclaimer. Have added one since then, so hopefully within about twenty-four hours or so it should lift...

Having said that, allow me now to answer. To match up with the details of the protagonist in this one, I've had to advance the setting of this story a few years, so you may expect canon Buffy characters to go around town with iPads and smartphones and other such sundry and convenient devices. Suffice it to say that we're starting off in Year One...
Review By [Harry] • Date [4 Jul 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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