Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Ship of The Line: This is Your Chance!

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Calling General Hammond, this is Outer Space" from DarthTenebrus
Some grammar issues here and there; also some discrepancies in punctuation, but not great enough to detract from the overall flow and quality of the story so far.

I will of course require myself to search the Web for definitions of certain objects, characters and agencies/nation-states et al., before I can understand the full complexity of it all. But I have enjoyed this so far, and I'm looking forward to more, so I'll make a proposal; you keep writing and I'll keep reading, ok?
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [12 Oct 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Some willing, some unknowingly" from DarthTenebrus
So what has Dawn patrol become that gained her the ability to phase through solid matter? Oh well, at least she won't ever have boring hair again now that she's turned into a bluenette...
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [12 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Irresistable Lure of Weaponry" from DarthTenebrus
Hoo boy, puhleeze tell me Claudia Black is taller than Sarah Michelle Gellar; not to bash the Buffster, but Claudia is certainly hotter. ..
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [10 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "What a bizarre fauna..." from DarthTenebrus
Per your inquiry at the end of the chapter, I had begun a story that might qualify as a sequel to /Event Horizon/, and it also stars Buffy Summers. Look up /Event Horizon - The Second Mission/

Whoever reads it, please comment and rate...?

Ni 'lassui (Quenya for Thank You)
Comments from author:
I read it and I like it. Good stuff.
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [10 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Far Side of the Town" from banner
I'm *delighted* with the "Leary, Commanding" addition. I've loved the series since I tripped over "With the Lightnings" years ago. You've done a good job of keeping the grittier aspects of the 'verse. Most of the more popular books are shiny or dark, but not ... um ... worn.

I especially liked the part about how the RCN ships could be handled by high school drop outs with minimal training.

I hesitate to think about how much suffering it would cause to rewire an ordinary, public-school educated, adult's brain into someone who could handle the amount of information that Adele carries in her wetware, let alone what she could access with her PDA. I remember somewhere in the series a sentence about how her IQ would surpass both of the midshipmen that she was escorting combined.

Please continue this theme.
Review By [banner] • Date [3 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Starving a cold wont work." from TroyGuffey
A good chapter.

I guess Dawn must be really rattled, she didn't appear to notice Joyce's katana slung on her back. (Or doesn't care, busy with personal business.)

As for Willow and Buffy, Willow Who's seat is on the First Circle (if my suggestion in the forum is taken)(Dawn is Second Circle)
Buffy is probably still pretty scrambled, even with the smoothing spell. If she is there, her seat is on the Third Circle.
Comments from author:
As it is I feel that multiple personalities will be difficult to integrate. Even with Pa'u Zhan helping to balance the internal voices. I can't write willow who. I've tried and it doesn't play well for some reason. As for Dawn, well she always seemed the most accepting of the scoobies, plus weird is normal for the Tenchi verse.
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [2 Sep 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Calling General Hammond, this is Outer Space" from TroyGuffey
Oh, yeah, Kinsey's SUCH a danger to ship command.

He'd just be a nuisance. Not sure if he'd even manage to be a "considerable" nuisance. Persistent, though.

He'd have a hard time with the Changed in Sunnydale.
Comments from author:
Obie did say we MIGHT have a problem...and once General Hammond knows, that probability drops to "Kinsey has a BIG problem."
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [2 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back in the game" from TroyGuffey
Pretty nice bits. Needs scene separators, though.

LOVE the fact that the /Flying Dutchman/ finally got picked up, and Zara and "Joe" got reunited.
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [30 Aug 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Back in the game" from CageFire
Nice to see a new chapter. Keep up the excellent work. :)
Review By [CageFire] • Date [30 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back in the game" from djhardim
A reminder for Mr. Black: When he was stuck in the DC Universe, he was able to establish contact with his home reality by placing his hand on a crystal ball.

"Terminal Justice" by Overkill

Harry, who was not nearly as enthusiastic about a magical residence as the female heroine, snorted. “Unlikely,” he answered, “most of those are just glass balls with some mist added to placate divination frauds. The chances of that one being the genuine article are very slim. See, I’ll show you,” he offered, laying his hand over the sphere. The instant he came into contact with the mystical object, however, his zippo started vibrating in his pants’ pocket. Shocked that the communications device was functioning after his many failed attempts earlier, Harry released the glowing ball and dug out the portable floo connection. Once his hand left the orb, however, the Zippo went dormant once more.
Comments from author:
I am fully aware of the means by which to boost the signal. That doesn't mean he has access to it. That particular crystal ball belonged to Zatana, and she doesn't exist in the Buffyverse.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [30 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Marvelous Craft" from branz
Well done on this, we always need another side of the situation, it stands to reason there will be those who don't want to cooperate or even those who let things get to their heads and go off the deep end.

The point from here on out as I see it is to show each ship and character individually and
how they react and adapt to the new tech and the changing circumstances.

You don't need to write the length and breadth of the battle with the Tyranids,
just write from the perspective of your chosen characters, or any other that isn't taken by another author.

Honestly this is a ship of the line challenge with 17 different authors participating with characters that hail from Stargate, Star Wars, Star Trek, the Imperium, and the Tyranids, its a given the overall scale will be huge. That doesn't mean you need to show all of it.
Review By [branz] • Date [19 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Ship of the Gods pt.5 (quitting)" from cyberfish
I`m a little sorry you going to give this up. but I must admit this has been one of the hardest stories to follow,I have ever seen.i look forward to your next story
Comments from author:
Thanks for the encouraging reviews.

My muse will probably wander off again.

If you don't already know I'm also on FFnet: TroyGuffey
Review By [cyberfish] • Date [16 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Global Standard, Research, and Supply Lines" from MrSoak
I admit that the chapter is quite detailed. Honestly though it seems that we have two formidable juggernauts in Wesley/Cordelia alliance and the Tyranids. Tough call how to proceed.
Comments from author:
Thanks Mr Soak I appreciate such comments.
Don't forget that all this tech and weaponry is available for use by earth, its allies, and the various captains and characters so feel free to use it in your chapter freely.

Honestly when I started writing I expected my characters to be some of the minor main characters, but eventually it seemed as if someone needed to take action so I hope that it was filled adequately, against the tyranids, as I expressed in this chapter:

There's no such thing as Overkill.
Review By [MrSoak] • Date [16 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Ship of the Gods pt4" from branz
nicely done, although I'm not sure who the perspective is from.

And RTS are not cheaters, I think everyone is thankful they can
mass produce anything they want for their universe, as well as quickly
adapting and putting out mixed tech ships and units.

EDIT: makes more sense.
Comments from author:
I've only got one Captain in the mix, and his story is under the "Ship of the Gods" chapter titles. It's Captain Guffey, naturally.

Captain Guffey might be grateful intellectually for the RTS builders, but still feels emotionally that they cheated him out of his place. Just a bit of jealousy.
Review By [branz] • Date [16 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Global Standard, Research, and Supply Lines" from TroyGuffey
This story has gotten ridiculous.

Multiple ZPMs that fit in infantry armor?

This story was lost to the Tyranid and the RTS-speed builders.

The authors writing is OK for the most part. I liked Dawn rescueing/kidnapping Xander, and the Commander Leary bits.

The challenge should probably have been a bit tighter: Nothing beyond geo-sync orbit and ONE ship would have helped a lot.
Comments from author:
.....a regular ZPM is about the size of a can be carried in one hand.
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [16 Aug 13] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Page: 1 of 11 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking