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Xander Dresses as Vader

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Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Poseidon
Review:
Hi!
I really like your stories and hope you continue them soon!
In this story I like the changed relationship to the watchers and the scenes with Sam's crush are pure gold!;)
The only thing I don't really like is how you bashed the Jedis to make Anakin more likeable, so I wanted to put an idea I had forth, how about instead of Xander being possesed by vader he is possesed by Revan? I mean he would have more interesting tech(personal Shields/Cloaks and whatever Rakatan tech you want him to have?) and more force powers to try to recreate? It's just a suggestions, because I don't really like Anakin, sorry!;)
Thanks for writing and again I hope you update soon!
Review By [Poseidon] • Date [24 Sep 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Chan
Review:
An interesting perspective on the series of crossovers your pulling into the story here gotten me curious as to how this will gel into what you want it to.
Review By [Chan] • Date [13 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from myrddyn
Review:
you really need to update this story!!!
p.s why hasn't xander worked on a simple deuterium fusion power core?
it should be well within his technological knowledge and i would have thought that he'd
use it as a starting point for getting into space. also maybe including some of the gravity manipulation tech like artifical gravity that he could licence out for sale to NASA and the other space agencies?
Comments from author:
For all his experiences Xander is still a teenager, if with the added time in the Hell dimensions is included he would be barely a teen. The method of utilizing energy output is skewed from the experience he had as Anakin, some of the maths he's working on are for that purpose, but there really is hardly anything simple about nuclear fusion and if he simply started out making it, a prototype, it would be unlikely to be used right away anyway because he would then have to build a ship, by hand, no he's going the long term plan, he's making money and establishing a number of patents that can be utilized when he eventually designs a ship that isn't a knock-off for Star Wars. Most of the tech base for Star Wars involves some form of energy manipulation (electricity) and one of the major points for this particular series is the the density of the universe have a great affect on the flow of any forms of power, not even mentioning the magical aspect of the universe.

I also hate to tell you this but NASA wouldn't even look at a technology that is unproven and produced by someone that is without the university credentials such as Doctorates or Masters unless they were forced to and they only way they would be forced to would expose Xander to a load more than he'd be willing to be exposed to.

Space travel will come soon enough, Xander is going to end up in Marry ole England dealing with Deatheaters, sign some non disclosure forms with SGC and then go to town on some goa'uld and other alien tech that can be utilized in ways they never knew, then he'll get approval to patent some technology very similar to the tech they retrieved and send a kick pack back to the SGC operations budget cutting out the NID oversight for the majority of the operations in the SGC. Of course Harry's going to be returning on the HFS Merlin as well so he could end up flying in space that way but it isn't going to be real soon he's just going to be far too busy.
Review By [myrddyn] • Date [4 Jun 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Traveler
Review:
I am not into any crossover involving Star Wars. That said, I have enjoyed this story and hope at some point you will continue it. I will be tracking and keep my fingers crossed.
Review By [Traveler] • Date [9 May 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Sanabalis
Review:
I like the story a lot. It gets better with each chapter. Hope you will continue it soon!
Review By [Sanabalis] • Date [2 Apr 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from drae
Review:
Hey Rocky when are we going to get a new chapter to this and it companion? Keep up the good work
Review By [drae] • Date [14 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from sdavidm
Review:
Glad you actually had Xander capitalize on the Ted tech. These chapters still felt a little rushed, but were definitely better than the first one. Your Travers is certainly more sensible than the one in Canon.

You still have a few consistent typos. For instance, you use 'meet' when you mean 'meat'.
Comments from author:
I fixed the meat.
Review By [sdavidm] • Date [17 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from sdavidm
Review:
You have an interesting premise, but you're jumping through this way too fast. Willow suddenly becoming sexually aggressive when her costume was exactly the same? What precipitated her sudden personality change?

In only one short chapter, they figure out they've had their memories changed, they defeat the mayor, and all the girls want to jump into bed with Xander, with no real reasons given.

You also consistently misspell 'meditate' as either 'mediate' or 'medicate'. There are also a number of other typos, so I would strongly recommend a beta reader to add a little polish.

You also explain far too much of the background information that forms part of your world. For instance, the midichlorian/mitochondria essays. This isn't necessary at all because Xander already explains to the others how the Force is different/nonexistent here. Your story would have been much better if you had spent those words on more dialog or character development so this first chapter didn't feel so rushed. The minute details sometimes matter for you, the author, so you have a consistent understanding of the world you're trying to describe, but your readers don't need these details.

Also, Xander takes great pains to complain about the limitations of batteries, yet you gloss right over how robot Ted must have had a really advanced and compact power source to keep an android like him running for decades.

I'm only providing this detailed analysis because I think you have a story with good potential, if only you polished a few of these rough edges. Fanfic is all about learning though, so keep at it!
Comments from author:
In cannon she was more ghost instead of the rowdy. In this she was sexually free young Willow instead of the shy Willow, the sheet was left at home.

As for Xander's complains about the batteries, it was more upset about the nature of the universe that he felt should be the same here and there being different. I didn't feel the need to reiterate what was in cannon about how advanced Ted had to have been decades into the past. I also wanted to make sure that the readers knew why he didn't manufacture a lightsaber or other futuristic star wars type of equipment and why certain things needed to be done in order to achieve that technology.

I appreciate your input, the meditate misspelling have been corrected.
Review By [sdavidm] • Date [17 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Selias
Review:
You keep having Willow call people "puppy heads." I'm pretty sure that should be "poopy head"
Review By [Selias] • Date [10 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from tavinseven
Review:
I really like this story. You have a lot of potential with it. I like the fact that you didn't make Xander extremely powerful by making it harder for him to use his version of the force; instead you gave him the brainier side of his possession. It works really well. I can't wait until Xander and the Scoobies meet the SGC. Please update soon this story is really amazing and has a lot of potential.
Review By [tavinseven] • Date [23 Sep 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Genuka
Review:
Well at least ^this^ version of Travers has a halfway decent brain and some SENSE! I look forward to the next update.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [15 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from eriktheviking
Review:
A great melding together of the different canon universes.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [13 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from CastorandPollux
Review:
Excellent....
Review By [CastorandPollux] • Date [7 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Thedruid
Review:
On the one hand, this is a great concept, and most of the characters are well developed. On the other, this is becoming more of a Mary sue with each chapter.

Still have no idea who changed Xander's, Willow's, and Codellia's memories. There hasn't even been any speculation on that subject.
Review By [Thedruid] • Date [6 Aug 13] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from DragonBard
Review:
I agree that this fic does a bit too much summarizing.

Also, will Faith, Tara, Kendra, and Anya be added? How about Dawn?

Has Buffy joined the group yet?

How?

This chapter was a bit light on the suggestive material I noticed. I hope that changes soon.

Maybe the group seduces Buffy, now that she's no longer with Angel.

Maybe have Cordy and Willow (and/or eventually Buffy or any other girls) slip off together while Xander is busy with something (or someone.)

Hope to see more soon.
Comments from author:
Faith, no, she isn't going to be called. Kendra won't be joining the group much, and romantically not at all. Dawn, I usually have her joined in right away as if she was always there but in this I'm not, if she joins it will be years down the road and they'll have a spurt of memories along side their own.

Anya won't ever join as there is no scorn Cordy.

Buffy's flirted quite a bit, but she's not really ready in this fic for that kind of entanglement, she may be a bit more ready when they pick her up in Spain, and nothing gets a slayer hot like bashing skulls in so that might be leading, perhaps I'll have the girls pull her in for a girls night to worm her up to the idea.

This story line isn't even beta'd and I'm only sure on where to go with certain angles, there will be more and likely sooner than The Scooby Gang but it will take time, in part because I'm hoping to have enough of Thousand years done to foreshadow and pave the way for them to arrive in this side of the storyline.
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [6 Aug 13] • Not Rated
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