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Broken Spell

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Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from ForSpite
Review:
I think that the chapter works for the most part. No glaring grammatical errors and I like the way you portray Illyria's voice.

However, I do hope you add a flashback as to how she ended up with a girlfriend six months ago, as that's a rather large detail to just drop in there and leave unexamined. In the original oneshot, it didn't matter that much because it was a short piece that existed pretty much to deliver comedy. In a longer, slightly more serious work it needs at least a little explanation. It is mildly amusing that they apparently got together before her girlfriend became the blue ranger, as my original theory on reading the oneshot was she found all the blue attractive, but that's a minor detail.
Comments from author:
While I tend to stick to American terms for the sake of my audience, a lot of the time I'll introduce concepts from the sentai. Such as the Sky Saints in the case of Magiranger/Mystic Force. Basically, Madison was marked to become the Blue Ranger and so Illyria saw that and - having a fondness for blue AND power - was drawn to her.
Review By [ForSpite] • Date [27 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from SamuraiSky
Review:
Very intriguing. Would love to see where this goes.
Review By [SamuraiSky] • Date [9 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from bookworm
Review:
Looks intriguing, though I haven't seen any of Mystic Force. I'd read it if you write more.
Comments from author:
It definitely wasn't Disney's best season of Power Rangers. Magiranger was definitely significantly better.
Review By [bookworm] • Date [28 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from HappyWonKinobi
Review:
I really like this story, and you know what, I want you to turn this thing into a real story all on its own! I think it'd turn out really well!
Comments from author:
I'll keep that in mind. :)
Review By [HappyWonKinobi] • Date [28 Aug 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from chaosmancer
Review:
i would read it if you want to continue it
Comments from author:
I'll keep it in mind. :)
Review By [chaosmancer] • Date [28 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from MarcusRowland
Review:
Is this Xander Harris or a different Xander? I would have thought XH would be in the dossiers.
Comments from author:
Merf, the one time I forget to append a surname to a first appearance and it's a same-namer. No, this is a different Xander. Possibly a winknod to Buffy, given their similar personalities and the fact that Magiranger had some very thinly veiled Harry Potter references, but not XH.
Review By [MarcusRowland] • Date [28 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from Wolfkin
Review:
Great start! Am I right in thinking that this is a re-write of your older Illyria/Mystic Force story Mystic Manipulations? Or, at least, a re-interpretation? Either way, you've not failed to improve a story when you do this, so I'm hoping you continue this in some way.
Comments from author:
This has its roots in Mystic Manipulations. I managed to turn Vida into the rather unpalatable Marissa in that version in an attempt to shuffle the rangers to make room for Dawn. If I continues this, it'll be a Marissa/Vida hybrid named Vida because... well, SOME of her traits are realistic for girls in her chosen industry/career field when you're not targeting the 6-12 demographic.
Review By [Wolfkin] • Date [27 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Broken Spell" from Harry
Review:
I recognized the opening. *WE ARE THE POWER RANGERS MYSTIC FORCE!* Its a good start. Now, lets see how Illyria fits in with all of this.
Review By [Harry] • Date [27 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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