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Trials

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Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from Letomo
Review:
Very interesting ending to the story - but how did Buffy hear about the 51%? I thought only Romana and the Doctor knew, and it's not something he passed along a whole lot. Or is that from an upcoming story, set in the past? Or did I just not remember that tidbit getting passed along?

Didn't throw me out of the story, just inspired more curiousity.

And, I'm remembering that a lot of family lines can change names, so his destruction of the Sumpters line would likely have been limited anyways.
Comments from author:
Buffy mentioned, in Paradox, that the Doctor had told her about the 51% thing. Probably, since Buffy was in high school at the time, it came up because Buffy wasn't amazing at school, and the Doctor was trying to make her feel better about herself.

(Something along the lines of, "Well, if 51% can make me a Time Lord, then 51% can let you pass maths. Now, if you don't mind, there's a planet to be saved and it's not even lunch yet!")

As you say, yes, there's probably a lot more Summers decendents out there. But there's something kind of romantic about the idea of a lost heir.

It's like with the Russian royal family, and all those rumors and stories about the missing Anastasia, whom was rumored not to be dead.

And, of course, the Sompters heir will wind up being significant too. If I ever get around to writing those stories.
Review By [Letomo] • Date [26 Sep 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirteen" from Mcspender
Review:
I really liked the final trial, Halstor's showed Seo that sometimes, the worst monsters are the human ones. The ones who claim that their hands are clean of blood, sitting in a throne of skulls.
A binary steam bomb, nicee, veery nice. It wasn't a very big boom, but, there's was a veery nice payoff for that boom =D.
So, a Sompsters survived, nice =)!. At least Buffy knows that her kin are around in the future =).
Cool fic, see ya!!!.
Comments from author:
Oh, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I think it's a very nice little story, on its own, but the problem is it's right after the Drusilla story, so it just comes out flat. I wish I knew how to write stories as powerful as that Drusilla one all the time, but I don't.

I just try my best.

Yes, there really *is* a legendary Lost Sompters heir, who survived Halstor's slaughter and then disappeared from his radar. I'm planning to write some stories about the whole thing, at some point in the future. (Actually, I'm wondering if I can write stories that involve no copyrighted characters, and then publish them for Kindle. I've got some kind of cool ideas for some kids' books, and I don't need to explain the origins of the characters -- it'll be my little secret with my fanfic fans. I just need to figure out what age to target.)

(Maybe I'll even bring in Alison. And some of my more popular original characters from this series.)

So look forward to that!
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [25 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Twelve" from CaptJohnHart
Review:
This guy Halstor sounds like a combination of a mob boss and an antique collector. I guess his "acquisition" process brings new meaning to the Human Resources department.
Review By [CaptJohnHart] • Date [24 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twelve" from Mcspender
Review:
Oh Joy, mercs, even in the future they're still a bunch of trigger happy cowards.
And the goal is set, and knowing Seo's, this will end either with a Biig Boom, or a veeery strong Electromagnetic pulse :O.

Cool chapter, see ya!!!.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [23 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Mcspender
Review:
So Halstor think he can order people around??. Let's how long last that against someone like Buffy.
Cool chapter, see ya!!!.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [22 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from Mcspender
Review:
So Halter Top, I mean, Halstor's boy is behind the accident??. Let's see what he really wants.
Cool chapter, see ya!!!.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [20 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Trial Three — Twirlfeen, 3392" from Mcspender
Review:
Hoooly Carp, I think it's time to get creative :S???.

Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
Time for Buffy to take charge and figure out what to do!

Go Buffy!
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [20 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from Letomo
Review:
"Since you arrived in this universe, Dawn has become fluent in, like, three different languages, even though she couldn't learn a foreign language to save her life, before."

I like this story, but this line bugged me. A lot. Because in the TV show, that is one of Dawn's gifts. She taught herself Assyrian so she could study up on a text (Cause she didn't know there was a translation). So, ascribing that to Seo's presence feels sort of off to me, broke me out of the story.

Otherwise a good story, but thought I'd share that.
Comments from author:
Ah. Damn. You know, I totally forgot about that.

Might need to change some stuff. Shuffle things around. I think I have a way to fix this (it's tricky, because I actually have another story in which Dawn is struggling to remember high school French, but I think I can dismiss that by explaining that Dawn was good at French when she started the class, then purposely flunked it after finding out she was the Key to spite Buffy. That sounds pretty Dawn), but I'm going to have to wait until I'm not sick anymore to write it, as my head is really foggy right now.

Then again, Buffy almost always underestimates Dawn anyways. But you're still right, I should go back in and edit that line. The fact that Dawn managed to become fully fluent in 3 brand-new languages over a year's time is still seriously impressive, even for someone good at picking up languages.

I honestly feel like both Seo and Dawn enhance each other. In a later story, you'll see that Seo is able to learn languages that Dawn already knows insanely quickly, and I think that Dawn has the same thing with languages Seo knows.

But, yep. Need to fix.

Thanks for bringing to my attention.
Review By [Letomo] • Date [19 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Trial Two — Virginia, 1701" from CaptJohnHart
Review:
Great line, I can just see Seo kicking a rock.
Comments from author:
:-)
Review By [CaptJohnHart] • Date [19 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Trial Two — Virginia, 1701" from Mcspender
Review:
Well, at least Seo found out that Angel truly regrets what he did, and about this chapter... very intriguing premise, veery intriguing.

Cool chapter, see ya!!!.
Comments from author:
Seo has learned the most important lessons: You can't save them all, even monsters can change, and you should always forgive those who are truly sorry for their crimes.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [19 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Trial Two — Virginia, 1701" from Cutiepie
Review:
I don't know if it is why you wrote this one, but I cracked up over that line of, "You never let me kill the Master." I can just picture the pout that accompanied it. =D
Comments from author:
Yep! Ten points!
Review By [Cutiepie] • Date [18 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from seacheldymoo
Review:
Still reading and still having a great time! I absolutely love the fact that every story you write stays fresh and interesting, and even more so how you can fit in so many characters, time lines, and story archs, and have it be so cohesive. Whatever your writing process is, it suits you very well!
Comments from author:
Oh, why thank you! I never want my stories to get boring, formulaic, and predictable. So I throw in things I think will make the story more interesting. Drusilla's crush was one of those items I was reluctant to throw in, but it just made the story so much better!
Review By [seacheldymoo] • Date [18 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from Mcspender
Review:
You know, one of the worst things about this situation, is that Seo does not know how to say goodbye, just like her real bio Dad. Seems to me that being kinda bad at that runs in her family.

Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
That's a good point. Very sad.

Let's see if Seo can learn. Perhaps this is one of those things Buffy needs to teach her (since the Doctor certainly won't).
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [17 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from ellf
Review:
You feel so bad for Seo here. This is a moment where her father would go "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Because sometimes, history can't be changed. Dru's death is a fixed point and like her father, Seo will herald death and destruction in her wake.

The Doctor couldn't save the Slayers of the Slayer line. Seo will come to understand that she can't save those whom she wants. And perhaps Buffy will awaken more of her Time Lady-ness herself


Edit: Also, great fic so far.
Comments from author:
Very well stated.

Time travel seems glamorous and exciting, like a wonderful adventure, but Seo's starting to understand that there's a lot of pain involved, too. There are amazing highs and horrible lows.

I suppose the test is as much to see if Seo even wants to continue, after knowing the lows, as it is to see if she's responsible enough to preserve time.
Review By [ellf] • Date [17 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Mcspender
Review:
Now Seo's gonna have an even worse guilty complex, because Dru will indeed be turned, and she will kill her??.
Yeah, the Universe sure has a nice way to teach lessons :S.
Cool chapter, see ya!!!.
Comments from author:
It's interesting to note that Drusilla, when she comes to Sunnydale in 1998 or whenever, immediately demands that Spike kill Buffy, and seems pretty eager about it. Is this because Drusilla is an evil vampire who doesn't need an excuse to want the Slayer dead?

Or is Drusilla's eagerness also partly caused by the actions of time traveling Buffy?
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [17 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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