Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Alexander Harris, Spartan-01

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from myrddyn
dude you really need to update this soon! is been months without one of my favourite stories!
Review By [myrddyn] • Date [9 Apr 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from ElDani
This story has definitely been worth the time it took me to read the more than 200k words. Some of your characterizations are way off base, the most unexplainable one is Willow though. Other than that, I'm also a bit freaked out by Willow and Cortana planning out Xander's offspring in this way.
Review By [ElDani] • Date [1 Apr 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from CageFire
Okay, really pretty good story. I'll be looking forward to reading more. :)

A few things:
1. You state in this last chapter that there were 2 billion people in the 23rd century. What the heck happened to two thirds of the current population over 300 years? There are currently 6 billion people on the planet.

2. The characters seem a little out of character. They seem a little more obsessed with sex than in canon, granted teenagers but still. I don't remember buffy going on an on about 3rd base after one date. And willow going from shy girl who blushed at anything even remotely suggestive to unrepentant seducer seems a rather huge leap in personality over a rather short period of time. I could see maybe over the course of a year, but it hasn't even been what two months at this point?

3. I don't really like the whole genetically engineered to basically be forced to have tons of kids, that's completely silly. Without a viable and wide-spread birth control method the population would quickly grow to unsustainable levels if each generation had dozens(at least) of kids. I suppose for the purposes of colonization, having lots of kids would initially help, but after a couple generations it would start to lead to overpopulation. Heck, the world is getting overpopulated right now, and that's with some people only having 3 or 4 kids. However I realize you're just using it as a plot device to make lots of little spartans and such. Still, it's not a good long term solution.

4. The whole making steaks out of the demons? I realize maybe you're making it him hunting the demons instead of the other way around, but I would at least check if the demon meat is poisonous before cooking and eating it. I didn't see any mention of him even doing any kind of analysis on it before serving it up for lunch. I mean what happens when all the demon hunters get sick/die from eating the demon meat? I mean some of those demons have different colored blood which some have various effects so they have different body chemistry which could be very well lethal/harmful to anybody ingesting it. I mean the one episode had buffy getting an aspect of the demon from being exposed to it's blood, here he's eating the meat without even doing research on the demon in question to see if it's body has any hidden surprises.

At any rate, a pretty decent story, and I'll be looking forward to reading more. :)
Review By [CageFire] • Date [18 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from Delkatar
Epic story! Well done!
Review By [Delkatar] • Date [9 Mar 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from FinalGuardian
Damn well done, by the last update nearly all the little errors had been fixed and the writer came into their own. I can't wait to see what comes next.
Review By [FinalGuardian] • Date [7 Mar 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from kffs
Awesome story - really enjoyed it all the way through.
The plot was really fun, but unfortunately none of the way the characters behaved were quite believable.
Loved the premise though!

Thanks for writing!
Review By [kffs] • Date [24 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from Oddshot
I have enjoyed reading your story Alexander Harris, Spartan-01, I love the Cortina - Xander Talks & Partnership, That Xander is also growing in Maturity is logical as the Master Chief was a man of Training / Skill as well as of Experience that have shaped him and that Xander now has access to all of the above so he grows as a person .

I do hope your Muse is cracking the whip to make you Update this soon & if not were can I send a whip so your Muse can use it, I really need to know what going to happen in this story.

Yours Oddshot
Review By [Oddshot] • Date [1 Feb 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from gaulty
Good chapter, keep up the good work, bye
Review By [gaulty] • Date [25 Jan 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from satsuma
What the other reviewers don't realise is that a fluff chapter is necessary for character and story development. And I agree with the last reviewer; I think a harem will come about with Willow as first. But I was wondering if a time jump might be needed with a summary of what occurred in between like the growth of the corporation and the set up of bases on and in the moon and solar system.

In response to your reply : So after hacking the NID records Xander will overhear Kendra talking about her defeat and realise it was a Goa'uld named Sethesh and go Wrath of Spartan on him and his followers (zat's, ring transporter and shield's) and the using satellite's to scan for naquada find the temple of Osiris in Egypt (another ring transport, a kara'kesh and a Alkesh). Brilliant. Next stop the private colonisation of the moon by the richest human on Earth and a special conference in the SGC about what is happening.
Comments from author:
Well.... no time jumps but the moon will be looming large by the end of their summer break along with two 'meet and kill' encounters between Xander and Goa'uld. The SGI will be a day late for cleaning up the good toys. Cortana will have new toys to have R&D tear apart and compare against the UNSC and Covenant gear. I see some nice toys in their near future.
Review By [satsuma] • Date [24 Jan 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from ChefJackButler
"In most states a man cannot claim that he was raped by women. "

Which in no way means that the man wasn't actually raped. It just means our society refuses to recognize the truth. The tragedy is that these men, who are just as violated by their female counterparts, aren't really seen as victims, and thus cannot get the help they so desperately need and deserve.

Thank you for admitting that you're part of the problem. At least you're honest about having no problem at all seeing other human beings fucked over.

And by the way, you know what I was doing in the 80s and 90s?

Catching traitors to my country. Trust me, I know them when I see them, and your paranoid rant aside, I can name a Conservative who sold out his country for every liberal you can name, and unlike you, I can back it up with more than conspiracy-theory nonsense.
Review By [ChefJackButler] • Date [24 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from AnFan
Great chapter, though it did seem like... I can't say rag on Xander time, but he did sure seem to take a beating this time. I can't say I'm really sorry for him, but I did find myself wincing quite a bit towards the end of the chapter.

Now that you've built up the caveman with the demon battles, and torn down the male ego (as is traditional when it comes to marriages), I can't wait to see how Xander navigates the shark infested waters of the corporate and political world. :)

Has his and Cortana's depredations hit the Trust from the Stargate canon? Will we be moving into the spy genre and high stakes politics? Will Cortana act more like Q soon, and outfit Xander as if he was 007? If I remember right (didn't reread this update) then he will have body guards, but they can only do so much.

I'm also wondering how he's going to weather the geek squad attacks. You know that if people like Samantha Carter corner him and he starts answering her questions, it's only going to encourage her to ask more questions and get closer to him, right? hehehe. Or, maybe it will be Janet? If she hasn't gotten hold of Casandra yet, do you think that she would be interested in the hunk producing and marketing new technology and procedures for the medical field? She did seem to love motherhood after adopting Casandra in canon ;)

Thanks for the update. I really look forward to your next chapter.

EDIT: 1-24-14 (after some of my Emails to you)

Sorry, didn't mix my genre here. I meant Q as in the science tech building guy that gives 007 his toys. Is this incorrect? I was never a James Bond fan, so can easily get details wrong.

I didn't mean Q from Star Trek.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review comments. See my previous comments about where I'm going with the tech and how I will be dealing with the Trust, NID, Initiative, corporate raiders, lawyers, politicians, governments and militaries.

This is the worst emotional beating that Xander is going to have for the next three chapters. Beaten by the ones you love or to be beaten by enemies? Which one is worse?

In real life, the character of 007 wouldn't last more than few days in most foreign countries. Picked up, interrogated, liquidated or tossed out (persona non gratia) with a do not come back tag posted to Interpol (cover blown and now career over).

That's why the secret identity and paying off the corrupt. Which paying off the corrupt and subversion of their computers and telephones is Cortana's thing.

Cortana is not Q. She can't become corporeal or wield anything like 'magic'.

Marriage is more like a business partnership with intimate and pleasurable times. But still a partnership where you are arguing or fight about something. You have to compromise or acquiesce. Men to keep peace in the house acquiesce a lot for our women. Sometimes on very important things that we should fight about. Things that cost us a whole lot of money later. [ From my and my brothers real lives. ]

For now the Sunnydale geek squad will be roped in as an asset. Geeks tend to be very bright and very bright people tend to shake up the world. So they are going to be properly utilized. Even Warren is going to be subverted by Cortana. What does the geek kid really want? Besides Buffy or Cordelia naked in bed with him. Most juvenile young males would sleep with any girl with a pulse that offered. So.... Cortana is going to take action with a little assist from Xander.

For now Xander and Cortana and their growing corporate empire is going to stay far away from the SGC and US Govt - as they can get until they are forced into cooperating with the SGC. I already have this outlined out. I think you will like it.
Review By [AnFan] • Date [24 Jan 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Surprise and Fear" from RedCalypso
I've just worked my way through the story and I have to say first I like the portions of demon hunting and building his business. It should really get interesting when SG1 is added to the mix. That said, I also have to say the personal portion of the story has turned into a bloody trainwreck, the kind that horrifies you but you can't look away from. Xander obviously believes in the concept of free will, to the point that he let three idiots walk off to die after he warned them. Sadly, he's tied to two harridans who view him as alternately a toy to play with and a commodity to exploit. I can give Cortana a pass since she isn't human, but not Willow. Willow may love Xander but she doesn't have an OUNCE of respect for him. She's more interested in playing mind games with him and manipulating him than in dealing honestly with him as an equal. But hey, it's okay because she's so much SMAAAAAARRRRTER than him! Frankly, at this point I'm hoping that something will just come along and make a snack out of her.

You probably won't come back and read this, but I have to point out there's a HUGE difference between making a play for a man and basically raping him without his permission or knowledge. That friend of yours? All she did was let the man know subtly that she was available and interested. There is nothing wrong with that and it is not manipulation. What Willow did was orders of magnitude removed from that.
Comments from author:
These characters have a life of their own.

I'm basing Willow not only on canon but on a real life woman I knew, Sharon. She was brilliant and had loved a young man since her Junior High School days. He went away in the Army and came back married to another. A party girl friend who got pregnant conveniently and they got divorced six years later. Meanwhile Sharon earned a Doctor in Biochemistry but still dreamed of her first real Beau. Silly story for me and you but it was real life. When she found out he was divorced she arranged to meet him at social events, my house for BBQ and flirted shamelessly like a teenager. Ten months later they were married. She didn't entrap him with a pregnancy. Today it has been thirty-three years for them and six kids. She is a Professor at a Pacific-8 University and he runs his own very successful Air-conditioning business.

Did she manipulate him? Sure as shooting. My wife and I watched her do it with some amusement. The poor sucker never saw it coming until a month before the wedding. Then he connected the dots. He is not a stupid man but we men are a little slow when it comes to our women and the female mind in general.

Was he mad? No, he was a proud as a peacock. I sort of played the role of Cortana here, when I repeatedly told him that he should be proud that she wants him. She is smarter than he, tall blond and curvy beautiful and could have had any other man if she had wanted them.

Was he unhappy with her? No, they have been married for thirty-two years last December 3rd. He never beat her and she claims she never tried to kill him.

Plus his daughter by his first marriage wound up living with them and raised by Sharon.

My point is this whole scenario is based on a real couple.
Review By [RedCalypso] • Date [23 Jan 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from troujin
great story overall. i only wish you'd update more often.
Review By [troujin] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from manatheron
I was so mad about the way this chapter ended that I actually had to walk away from my computer for an hour. I'm outraged on behalf of both alex and men in general. And alex is position had I found out what they had planned for me I would've had to walk away and they would have had exactly 1 chance to explain to me what they thought gave them the authority to pimp me out like that. And quite frankly they did have a decent reason but if I had been treated in such a high handed manner they would've had to at very least delayed their plans long enough to convince me that they were a good idea. The thought that alex or in fact any man could be so easily led around by the crotch is infuriating. That someone with command training who in fact has been forced to make life and death decisions would roll over like that is so entirely out of character that I find myself at a loss for words trying to describe how wrong the mentality is. On top of that well the new reach enterprises may not the military Cortana and alex both are. Additionally alex is the ranking officer. While Cortana is and was made to advise she's way beyond the boundaries of decisions she's allowed to make without a commanding officer input. And johns memories should be prompting Alex to come down on her like a sack of bricks.

My final gripe is with your explanation about how the children would only be half augmented. If the nanites are even half as advanced as you claim they are. They would augment the egg before it split the first time. The children would be fully you augmented immediately.
Comments from author:
Sorry you didn't spot it.

Read some of my recent comments about this chapter. I wont repeat them.

You will find that pretty much (90%) of all young teenage males would sleep with any female with a pulse and be gladly led around by their crotch if she was hot enough. Twenty somethings also spend a lot of time thinking with their 'other head'. Sorry fact of life.

I was pretty much the same in my misspent youth. Maturity and wisdom tempers that. You get wisdom by making mistakes and learning from those mistakes.

Men make compromises in their lives with the women that they love. Sometimes bad compromises and sometimes they just acquiesce to keep peace between them. Look up Helen of Troy and Cleopatra for a start as to what men will do for their women.

Yes, Cortana... used to be his second in command because that was all she had been. Her experiences had been severely limited within the UNSC but unlike ALL previous AI she was created from the cloned emgrams of Dr. Halsey's own mind. With some imperative programming included along with all of the hacker/cracker tools.

She was born not just and AI but a sentient AI who with experience and time became sapient. This is a huge difference. The UNSC would have been terrified of her and rightly so. The Skynet of the Terminator series was a sentient AI but not sapient. A wise AI wouldn't have nuked off its creators.

Now, Cortana is not in his Mjolnir armor or locked down inside the Pillar of Autumn or locked up inside of Dr. Halsey laboratory (the only three places that she has been allowed until now).

Their threat is not an immediate Covenant but a possible future (when?) Covenant or this prophecy of Goa'uld. Cortana is a non-human AI, yet human emgrams of Dr. Halsey (see my previous comments on this subject). She is sapient and has created a network of global companies to prepare and defend humanity. She can be obsessive compulsive, brilliant intelligence (from Dr. Halsey the smartest human of her universe), and relentless.

She views herself as Xander's friend, sister, guardian, lover and Valkyrie/Fury protective mother. A complex relationship that her character is still working through.

Cortana is more than just his 2IC. She is his business partner and lover (inside the mind only). She is his Chief Financial Officer and Corporate Executive Vice President (2nd in a company and the real person who runs any company on a daily basis).

When you become married you will experience your wife, you own mother and later your teenage kids treating you in a high handed manner. You get used to it... grrrr.... well.... maybe... sort of.

We treat our loved ones with a lot of slack that we do not grant to any others. A huge amount of slack. We overlook chasms of adversity.

So no, this is not out of character. Xander now and formerly John are more complex than the brush that you are painting them with. I've taken this scenario from real life couples that I've known and myself. Let's just say that I'm over 55 and still considered a killer (my flight patch label/handle was 'Dr. Overkill').

Xander is a sixteen year old going on 69 years old with a old hardened war veteran in the back of his mind whispering to him.

Corporations do not work like rigidly hierarchical military units. Read up on Special Operation Forces (SOF) units, they do not follow the rigid rank structure that the rest of the military does. The guy with the most combat time leads each unit regardless of rank. The guys who are onsite make the decisions. They do not wait for some damn General or Colonel 8,000 miles away to tell them what to do. Although with our modern communication systems we actually have since 1976 idiot generals, one President (Jimmy Carter) and other CO's try to order SOF units to do incredibly stupid (suicidal) things.

Cortana is acting as the OIC onsite for the day-to-day decisions regarding Aten Werks, Reach and all of the others. She gives Xander the heads up in his regular situation reports starting in the morning but she is and will make decisions on her own like any other sentient/sapient being. Xander trusts her to make good decisions. Even when he may not like that decision because it affects him.

Her decisions do not endanger him physically, so like most guys he is going to roll with the blow and move on. Adapt and overcome is the unofficial motto of many Special Operations Forces.

Re-read the segments on nanites from chapter one forward.

I have an old school friend who is really big in the genetics engineering industry. My description of how these nanites work is exactly how they are building them today and how they think they will function in the near future.

It takes years, almost ten years, to augment a normal human. With the shots that will be cut down to one to three years for the Moms (everyone is different). Her Ova are not enhanced and she is not swimming with nanites to convert trillions of DNA strands and cells. So the first baby will have naturally half of Xander's enhanced DNA (no genetic defects) and half of the mothers DNA. I assume that the nanites cannot cross the placental boundary like all other things from mothers. The nanites will be transferred to the first babies via mothers milk, kisses and the near constant (7x24) skin to skin contact that all mothers have with their babies. By the time those babies reach the age of ten they will be full of their very own nanites and fully enhanced (genetically perfect plus augmented with the protective and regenerative nanites).

Unless they also get a booster shot or two, which is the only way to cut down this processes time - the ten year upper limit is a wall. But Cortana can only squeeze so much blood out of Xander. So she is also pushing the R&D side to replicate and mass produce the nanites for mass distribution.

Remember she is relentless. Her goal is millions and billions of fully enhanced humans as fast as possible. They have no idea when the Covenant or Goa'uld will show up in orbit, which is driving them.

If she had the tech base to mass produce millions of clones of Xander she would and send them out with only the command to go out and sow your oats. She wouldn't tell Xander until the first hundred were up and walking and talking and showing no adverse signs from the cloning.

One of the previous Reviewers who asked almost the same question, put terrible thoughts into my brain for an outline.

Maybe Willow in the future will help Cortana produce clones of Xander? She might really want two or three tall handsome buff clones around the house as Xander-prime is out slaughtering the Goa'uld and demons. I mean, she might be a depraved and lusty woman (like Anya).
Review By [manatheron] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Two Furies" from santi
This story has gone from good to basically everyone bashes Xander again and again and again. In fact the story seems to contain more bashing of Xander than anything else. It has gotten old. Really really old. Also the way he doesn't even seem to be trying to control his own life is just pathetic. The way he is basically being harvested and they plan to breed him like a bull, in his place I would be insulted and pissed off no matter who it was that was doing it. And then he just lets it go like it didn't even matter to him that he was going to have children who he didn't even know and in fact if things go wrong might actually be used against him. For example if one of those children joined the military and someone decided that Xander was a threat and sent their super soldier after him. Not a pretty thought. Not to mention putting a super strong child with parents that have no idea what is actually going on? Bad idea.
Review By [santi] • Date [19 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Page: 1 of 10 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking