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Dawn in Hell

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Review of chapter "Two Brands of Courage" from Vorchan
Review:
Okay, the Watchers Council has shown itself to be really twisted! Sexual torture on one of the disciples of one of their members... WHAT THE?!
Comments from author:
Well, Quentin wants Giles, Giles is not available, but she is. That's all the reason they need. And technically it's not sexual, it's just aiming at a most sensitive body part...
Review By [Vorchan] • Date [29 Mar 14] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Welcome to Hell" from Vorchan
Review:
Maybe Dawn would find loving Jeba as a friend more fun than abusing her, knowing what I know of Dawn... but she's a slave too- a gladiatrix!
Comments from author:
Dawn is an Apprentice Slayer. Her first motivation is to protect her friends and honor Buffy's memory.

But yeah, I guess Little Dawnie wouldn't mind snuggling with Jeba. Later maybe?
Review By [Vorchan] • Date [29 Mar 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Brands of Courage" from maxthehobbit
Review:
A cliff hanger. Willow's being tortured and may not be able to hold off to long and Dawn is going for her first big fight. Turning this into a series now? Or just a collection of stories all linked together. Will Dawn graduate slayer school and save Willow? Lots of things to think about.
Comments from author:
It has always been a series in my mind. Already I have started thinking about Book III, and there are so many decisions to make. For instance: what if part of the price for making Dawn a Slayer is that Buffy CAN'T be resurrected anymore? Or what if she can be brought back, but as an ordinary girl only? Does Dawn being the new Slayer break the balance like Buffy's resurrection did in the series? Decisions, decisions...

Ah yes, Willow. Well, Dawn still has at least a couple years to go in Kirahala (check the dates in the prologue/teaser and in this chapter), so I wouldn't count on her saving Willow... Of course, this is still mostly the BuffyVerse -- or should we call it the DawnVerse now?

Decisions, decisions...
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [29 Nov 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "One Night in Sunnydale" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
Damn...Dawn's not gonna be a Slayer, shr's gonna be a bloody Terminator! OTC...One Tough Chick.

Oops forgot to add this. ..

I get that the ambush team had to remain undiscovered and leave no signs, but did the first person they shot have to be WILLOW?!

She's gonna get back up and unleash Hell itself now...
Comments from author:
Well, Buffy was dead, Dawn was not available, neither was Giles, Xander I don't want to play with that way, Anya is too funny, Tara has been shot in the series already, so...

But you are right, Hell is indeed going to be unleashed. Not in the next chapter though, which will be the last of Part One. So probably in Part Two...

And as for Dawn, yeah, she's gonna be a bloody something, not just an ordinary Slayer. Karl is good!
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [22 Nov 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The New Dawn" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
Lemme guess, Tara gets it again, and Dawn comes back just in time to have to kill Willow, cuz she's gone off the deep end, right or wrong?

Edit/Reply: Ack! Oh shit, that's right, the Council's Black Ops team is after them...Damn, where's Soap when ya need a quick rescue or a counterintel asset?
Comments from author:
Wrong. So wrong.

Actually I don't think you could be wronger. I'll give you a clue:

It's Giles with a AK-47 in the rump. Not. :p

ANSWER: Yup, getting much closer now! And they shoot a Scoobie, then bring the body inside... Well, you'll find out.
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [15 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The New Dawn" from (Recent Donor)christytrekkie
Review:
Wow this is getting really really intense. I hope Dawn makes it back before the Quinton bullshit is implemented.
Comments from author:
Dawn is just starting the real training now, but we're going to skip a bit over that because things in the regular BuffyWorld, yup they're going to become a bit intense, and I am planning to show what happens in both dimensions simultaneously. In the next chapter, one of the Scoobies is shot.
Review By [(Recent Donor)christytrekkie] • Date [14 Nov 13] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The New Dawn" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
....in for a fucking tonne. I believe that completes it best, don't you?
Comments from author:
I would have said "in for a bloody pound", but yeah, yours works even better!
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [14 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Dawn of the Jungle" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
Not yet Dawn the Vampire Slayer, but soon enough, though...it will depend on how her training goes, but with the demonstrated benefits of the Mark comes precognition, accelerated senses, tolerance for extremes of temperature and the ability to breathe in water. Her training will not be impossible, just this side of it.
Comments from author:
Nothing is impossible to Karl, especially as far as Slayers are concerned. Just saying. ;) Remember his promise: “Not only will I make you a Slayer, but you may become the most powerful of all who ever lived.”

In the next episode we will learn more about Karl. We will also have more insight into the mind of Quentin Travers.
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [8 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Mark" from maxthehobbit
Review:
She's not only going to have to endure the initial pain of the white hot branding iron, it's never going to go away, but at least her trainer said it will lessen over time and it will protect her from extreme temperatures which seem to be the norm on this planet. She's also going to have to be humiliated and maybe tortured, whipped etc. She must have a lot of determination.
Comments from author:
Well, Dawn feels guilty because her town, her friends are in danger because of her. She figures that, had she not been sent to Buffy, Glory would not have come and Buffy would not be dead. And since she is after all a Summers girl, and we know that Summers girls have a very heightened sense of responsibility, AND she was after all made from Buffy...

Yes, the pain will be somewhat easier to tolerate, but it will not lessen. More or less, Dawn will get used to it, but it will remain. The rest is part of her training and indeed she will need to be very determined.
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [2 Nov 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Mark" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
If she can take that kind of agony without so much as flinching, then Dawn has truly become strong. Strength enough to accept it completely and wholeheartedly in beyond even my ken. Let us now welcome Dawn the Vampire Slayer. ..
Comments from author:
Yes, she is definitely on her way, she is ready to take it all. But her heart was ready from the beginning. As Xander told her in "Potential": "You're not special. You're extraordinary." But, as he said just before: "They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it." Well, in the series, Dawn was never chosen, although in "Potential", she showed us what she was really made of.

In the next chapter, besides getting some insight on what the Mark actually does to Dawn, we will get acquainted with this story's Council, and about its benevolent leader, Quentin the Eighth (he's the first actually, but I bet you get my drift)
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [2 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "First Fight" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
Didn't know she could do it, could she? What a surprise! Definitely a confidence booster for Dawn the future Vampire Slayer! Now she'll start taking a serious interest in her training, however long it takes.
Comments from author:
Yeah, she thought she was still "Little Dawnie". And yet, she had ceased to be that whiny weak wimp the minute she decided that something had to be done.

Dawn is in shock at the start of the next episode, but once she understands the true magnitude of what just happened, yes indeed, she will be encouraged. The next chapters will contain very little arena action. There will be a lot of insight on Karl though. Also, soon (in Chapter 6) we will find out what our good friend Quentin plans to do to "help" with the situation in Sunnydale...
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [26 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "First Fight" from (Recent Donor)christytrekkie
Review:
Oh man, I'm so enjoying this. Very cool and riveting.
Comments from author:
Oh I enjoy writing it too. We are essentially trying to create a new Slayer out of the one person that seemed to be the least possible candidate in the series.

And the process has not even started yet...
Review By [(Recent Donor)christytrekkie] • Date [25 Oct 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "First Fight" from maxthehobbit
Review:
Ha this is like 'Karate Kid' in that she has become stronger, faster and more nimble, but hasn't realized it yet until she broke the neck of the big cat. Good story and I think it only gets better as the chapters get added.
Thanks!
Comments from author:
Honestly I hadn't thought of that, but yeah, that's exactly what happened. Plus trying to hit the girl, receiving advice on how to do it and remembering it in due time. But there was something else...

Glad you like it! It's not the easiest story to write.
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [25 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Welcome to Hell" from (Current Donor)vladt
Review:
very entertaining beginning. thank you.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you like it. There are more coming. :)
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [20 Oct 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Welcome to Hell" from DarthTenebrus
Review:
Good borrowing. ..lol
Comments from author:
Thank you. Thank you for the loan. I tried to keep them in good shape, here they are back. ;)
Review By [DarthTenebrus] • Date [18 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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