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The Long Road Ahead

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Chargone
Aside from a few wrong word errors (most of which look like typos more than anything), and being a chapter full of introductory 'why are they even here' type set up which didn't get to the point of anything much of significance taking place or being explained before it ended...
This is actually very well done.

The second problem will, of course, solve itself once additional chapters are posted, and the first is only really preventable by having someone else who actually knows the language well (which excludes over half the native speakers :p ) proof read it before you post, and is fairly minor anyway.

I look forward to seeing where you take this.
Comments from author:
Thanks, glad to hear it.
Yes I am aware that the chapter itself isn't much of anything in its current state :-D, it was mostly a tryout.
I am planning to make the chapter longer and improve it.

By the way, what did you think of Xander and Giles's personalities? Thats the hardest part to get somewhat right.
Review By [Chargone] • Date [7 Nov 13] • Not Rated
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