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Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from Tav
can someone explain what a builder is and where they come from?
Comments from author:
Builders are (special) people that build stuff. They've got the ability to remember patterns and build things much like various game characters... peasants from Warcraft, high tech builders from various strategy games...
Review By [Tav] • Date [17 Nov 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from Lydia
Now that was a great story, until the last chapter... WTF? What happened with the monsters after Hermione, what happened with everybody? What happened?! This story ended on a rush and in a way that is like a bad surprise, the chapter before let us expect a big battle on the next chapter, but it doesn't happen, than their is a fair amount of stuff like Hermione gathering her friends and family that doesn't seem completed, this ABSOLUTELY need a sequel otherwise I can't really consider this completed but merely a abandoned story, the so called epilogue isn't really so much an epilogue but another cliffhanger of sort, it doesn't give the impression that the matters in the story were concluded but merely stopped in the process.

Beyond that disappointing rushed confusing ending, the story was really good, but albeit a tad confusing, too much characters from too many universes, and not only were their an orgy of characters from everywhere, their is the fact that many of them only appeared for a short while, for example Clark & the DC Heroes, they appeared fairly early on in the story and at one point we didn't hear of them ever again, the same pattern happened in many cases as various characters from various settings were hardly ever heard of after their setting left the center stage of the story, heck even a fair amount of 'copies' made by Xander overtime disappeared in the background too, heck Erica after being made didn't do much, or really most of the copies, how come he didn't travel around with the Kryptonian copies more? They would have been alot of help to keep him and others safe, yet they were barely heard of after they were made.

Another thing, the side story about Dawn, Clark & the Princesses, should have been added to the main story, I mean their were other 'side' stories actually included in the main story where Dawn was alone or somebody else later on, and I have to admit having not taken the time to read that side story, I was confused by the elements from it that I was missing by not having read it, a fair warning should have been given that it was going to be something required to be read to understand certain elements of the main story, usually such a 'side story' should have been merely things that you could skip without it impacting your understanding of the story, which isn't the case, considering how their are some characters and events which came from it and which joined the main story later on without us getting a concise understanding of them outside the 'side story', so yes that 'side story' should have been added to this main story or have a note to say 'MUST READ SIDE STORY' written on the chapter when it happened so readers can know that its something they should REALLY take the time to read before they continue reading on.

Oh yea and the fact that the other story this relate to is not posted on this site too, is bad, you need to get 'Its A Game Hermione' posted here, it still got some BTVS chars in it, albeit a bit heavily twisted, so you want to have that other story posted here and possibly this one posted on HPFFA so that the two sites can get both of those two stories which relate to one another in this one.
Comments from author:
There will be a continuation at some point. There are too many threads that still need to be tied up.
As for traveling around with various clones, some of them had things to do, some of them were working on school, some of them had projects. Some of them wanted to spend time with Clark and such things on his world.

As for the side story, I'd intended to write a couple more side stories but I realized that splitting things up was problematic and ultimately confusing. I didn't combine the side story because I didn't feel like talking a mod into it and I didn't want to lose reviews and make a mess.

Edit: I should probably put the other story up here. It has Buffy characters in it so I don't think it would be a problem.
Review By [Lydia] • Date [14 Nov 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from HappyWonKinobi
This was a wonderful ride that I enjoyed about as much as you did writing it! I thank you for your time and effort in writing this, though I hope that the next story in this series focuses on Xander and the OC/Clone girls again. That was some funny stuff at the beginning, and I'd love to hear more about them! Even more of them if you make more! :)
Comments from author:
As for the next story, we'll see how it goes.
Review By [HappyWonKinobi] • Date [26 Oct 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from Swordchucks
Bravo! I've followed this story from the start and enjoyed it all the way. I can see that you are growing as a writer and I found this story pretty easy to follow once you ironed out some of the bugs. In any case, I look forward to seeing what you come up with next.
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. As for getting better, I'd hope... I do enough of it. :)
Review By [Swordchucks] • Date [13 Oct 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Thirty Seven" from (Current Donor)Starfox
Edible HK-47... priceless!
Comments from author:
Yeah, there is something amusing there.
Review By [(Current Donor)Starfox] • Date [13 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from Bluesnowman
This has truly been a great story.
Comments from author:
Review By [Bluesnowman] • Date [12 Oct 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from deathgeonous
Ah, such a great and fun fic. I'm going to rec part one, cause I only rec part one of any series, right now.
Comments from author:
That's fine. :)
Review By [deathgeonous] • Date [11 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from AceDreamer
Nicely done story!

Lots of fun loose ends, of course. I'd wondered if a bad guy from the Technocracy (Iteration X?) might get involved? Given that it's a WoD setting, and we've already seen some other mages.

Giles is really having fun obtaining immortality stuff. Is he avoiding the Apples of Idunn for fear of upsetting Loki?

Or, was one sort of fruit considered enough, and he didn't need/want to go looking for peaches as well:

The business with Evil Star was interesting, and the starband, though I'd hope they handle it with care, given its nasty side effects (I'll admit that I had to look him up, though I vaguely remembered the Starlings). That DC setting is probably a lot better off for not having that unpleasant artefact.

Am I the only one who thinks Raven Potter may have had more reasons for visiting than just a 'thank you' for becoming a Builder, and a bit of curiosity? Not anything bad, more something she'd hoped to find or build. Does having access to variant Potterverse get her anywhere? Or, is it something totally different? Just an idea. :)

I do admit curiosity about what story you might consider next...
Comments from author:
There are a few loose ends but hey that just gives me things to come back to. :)

The Apples of Idunn as I understand them had to be taken on a continual basis. The apples of immortality gave you immortality for one apple. Sure they don't give you the powers of a god... but hey you don't have to eat them like a drug either.

The Peaches seem limited compared to a one shot deal... still sort of interesting.

Yeah, the guy was a bit nuts and the artifact is twisted or at least he's twisted. Thankfully Red should be able to duplicate the starband without the side effects. Builder magic for the win there. :)

As for Raven Potter, she's got lots of reasons for visiting... :) Becoming stronger, making friends, learning patterns. So many reasons to visit :) Having access to other Potter worlds gets her some interesting things...

As for what's next, I'm looking at a couple of different projects. We'll see how it goes. Some of those projects are trying to tie up loose ends on some of my previous stories... we'll see how that goes.
Review By [AceDreamer] • Date [9 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from Jaylynn
I did enjoy this story and kinda sad it's ended but I am like that with stories I like. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to any stories you might add to this series if the muse strikes you.
Comments from author:
I'm planning to add to the series eventually. It's just a matter of taking a breather and recharging and playing with some other story ideas first. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story.
Review By [Jaylynn] • Date [9 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from BenjiC
Awesome story. Most stories with so many original characters feel bloated and uninspired, so not the case here. Still not sure how you did that. My only problem is that I just finished reading "It's a Game Hermione" so I really should read this story agian with more understanding of character backstory. However I just don't have much free time for the next month at least which means that I will probly sacrifice some sleep to reread this. Curse you and your addicting writing.
Hopeing to see more updates from you soon.
Comments from author:
I must be doing something right if it's addictive. :)

As for combating bloating... I think the trick to keep in mind is to ask yourself do you need an oc... or can you get away with saying shopkeeper... that old man or that vampire... That said, when the characters are making new characters you need to remember to have a list and not have too many in a scene... :) Or at least that's what I tried.

Happy reading and staying up is how I write some times so it's only fair... I mean hey get some sleep. :)
Review By [BenjiC] • Date [8 Oct 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from (Current Donor)Katrina
Whoops! That snuck up on me. Well, hello there end of the story.

I can't complain because I have stories out there with their hair still parted and not tied up at all. :) So thank you for at least getting us past any huge hanging threads.

I'll miss the story that you've played with so far, but I enjoyed reading it all the way through. Thanks for playing a Builder-verse and I'm glad you found value in it. *bows in respect*
Comments from author:
Ends are sneaky like that. :)

I wanted the chance to try to wrap some things up and maybe refocus on some of the things... we'll see how things work. As for not tying things up, I've got a couple of stories that need some attention. That's a good analogy for big hair tangles. :)

Hopefully I'll be able to come back to the series after I've had a chance to recharge my batteries for a bit. I found a lot of value in it. :) It's a lot of fun. And yes, I'm looking forward to seeing you continue your story and other people to work on some.

Thank you again for sharing the concept.
Review By [(Current Donor)Katrina] • Date [8 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventy Epilogue" from KrisB
And soon your various plot thread will be together again. About the only thing that I'm sort of mixed on is Loki shifting the magic style for the weres. Oh, well they helped defend his daughter so he had to reward them some how. It works. So are they all going to go with our Builders or stay in the WoD world? I'm thinking that entire area will be getting shifted.

That was a rather impressive dragon. Nice that he was able to side step it all.

About the only part that you really missed out on in this scene was adding the Weasley reaction to it all. You know both the joining in the party and watching the holy ritual sex as well.

I can't help but think that Molly's reaction to it could have been amusing.

Why do I feel that Giles will now have a full grown Lobo copy in his bag? Lobo could regenerate from a rather tiny amount of blood. I'd think the arm would start trying to as well. They'd have some trouble at that point. Well Giles would. Lobo would be mixed on the minion girls. They are just the right free spirited showing off fine pairs of breasts that he would likely not go after them.

I know that you are about ready to wind down on the WoD. How about leaving a portal with some lure near a semi public place like a bus stop. I'm thinking just general NPC lure to fill out "the background" of their town rather than anything really specialized. Well, of course they'd ward it to only friendlies and generally good folks would be able to stumble across it as well.

I'm thinking of lots of various bus stops or something so background folks can just get to Sunnydale as long as the buses are running. ;) You've not really shown too much changes in Sunnydale lately. They are a nexus town though. Don't they still have "background connections" with Ranma's world, and the force temples, and even the Warcraft world?

I've been trying to think of interesting places for you to go. About the only place that is really coming to mind is Balamb Garden. About the only other neat thing that I'd like them to pick up would be something like xenosaga Kukai Foundation docking Durandal. You've already really had two good space segments though, and I don't feel that they'd really add anything. Well other than just having an actual space colony blue printed. Sunnydale seems like its found a home. So there is no need to move it. I still think that it would be a handy blue print to pick up. I'd have to cheat alittle and work on building that set of patterns in ME or robotech earth. ;)

I just have the feeling that the high tech world are better for leaving behind large structures while the fantasy settings are better for plot, characters, and picking up the odd bit of magic.
Comments from author:
The area got shifted to the sphere as did the shape shifters. The problem with not shifting the magic system is that rage causes issues with frenzy, makes people uncomfortable and having 10 points of mana at most isn't good... :) and hey there were useful.

The wod is gone once they left, it was a game world.

I had fun with the dragon description, it was one of those... you know... we've got the scan, we can just run ideas. :)

As for the Weasleys watching the sex scene... I probably should have added a bit there for Molly's reaction.

Lobo is nice and safe on the space station... they aren't going to cut off Lobo's arm... he regenerates after all is damn scary... they cut off the villain's arm. Pocket Lobo sounds amusing though.

I can see them looking at lures to help refill Sunnydale. Maybe near a bus stop. Nah, they have to use the underground or a portal to get to Ranma's world. Same with the force temples and they have a portal to the warcraft world.

A space station that's actually a decent ship might be good... but they already have a couple of scans of things... :)

The high tech worlds seem to lend themselves to leaving structures... picking up magic is typically not high tech. High tech is normally trainable... :) thus grabbing people from magic worlds... yep. Thanks for the review.
Review By [KrisB] • Date [8 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Nine" from WCSII
I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry, I apologize for apparently insulting you when whining about the S.O.S. Just, please, start writing again... all other writers are apparently busy with school and now that you've started sulking nobodies updating... I can't take the lack of material to read... just please... please write again...
*curls up into a ball and begins rocking back and forth*
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Comments from author:
Huh? Nah, I just had some stuff come up over the weekend and I was reading back through another story and editing things to clean things up and refresh my memory on things. I updated a couple of days go, it's not been a week yet but yeah I'll work on something. :)
Review By [WCSII] • Date [7 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Nine" from aeraveil
All things considered, I think Richard and his team are good people to have when dealing with monsters. As for Giles and his team, he's going somewhere with golden apples. :)

So that means either the Percy Jackson Universe or Hercules/Zena Universe.
Comments from author:
Yeah, Richard and the girls are great for killing monsters. Yep, one of those for Giles and golden apples. :)
Review By [aeraveil] • Date [4 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Nine" from KrisB
I'm iffy on the entire Faerie Queen bit. There are just so many kids of them and some of them might as well be gods. Others are more limited to merely near unlimited control of their pocket realm that can connect to random places in time here. I have no idea which Unseelie Faerie that you went after.

I could just see you going for something out of Laurell Hamiltons's Merry Gentry Series. Looked it up and that setting has elves of a sort. I have no idea of what style though.

When you mentioned apples, I know where you meant for Giles to end up. I think this shoots for a better cross over moment though... Send Giles's group to Willow and the Luck of the Draw group. Hey, they might need back up or plan on going after what ever actually sent the monsters.

Those monsters won't know what hit them. They are heading into Dawn's raid group... which likely has battle similar fiendish things before. That's not counting Daddy Giles showing up with his girls.

On Molly, I think that she will throw her fit, but when she really settles down and thinks... What is her first thought? Potential grand babies! Instead of Bill off with the goblins or Charlie with the dragons doing dangerous things, they'll be over there with those cute werewolf girls likely doing what will get her grand babies. That'll earn tons of forgiveness from her.

I can't wait for Bill to find out that Xander made the spiders to kill off the goblins because they looted Flora's vault and that there wasn't any goblins left in that bank when they were finished.

Now what is the best way for Xander to drop that he had setup a small trap to unleash those spiders to loot most/all of the gold in various goblin vaults for Flora?

I want to see what Xander might set up for Arthur. I can just picture some mesh of junk yard, garage, used car lot with a dash of mad science tossed in. That's for later on when things settle down though.
Comments from author:
The Faerie Queen bit I grabbed was from the World of Darkness, she's a large place spirit (basically) so sub-realm control.

I think I'll stick to what they've got for elves.

You might have a point about where they should end up... :) I'd intended to cross things in that world, just not quite that way but hey it could work out nicely doing it that way.

As for what sent the monsters, yeah they'll have to deal with that eventually. As for the monsters, running into a whole raid group is probably not what they were hoping for.

Yeah, I can see her wanting grand children and really they've got some decent potential girls to pick from. So yeah, I can see her eventually settling down. :)

As for Bill finding out that Xander made the spiders to kill the goblins, I can see that... especially once they see Flora's mountain of gold... :)

Arthur could use a tinker's workshop. Depending on where they set things up... it changes what Xander will set up.
Review By [KrisB] • Date [4 Oct 14] • Not Rated
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