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Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from (Current Donor)Katrina
Review:
I admit I had a "whoa, where are we?" moment and then I just settled into the groove. My only complaint is that really, the dogs in the kennels Marge ran would be innocent victims. The implication from the stories/movies is that she has a favorite dog, (like Petunia has a favorite son), but the dogs she raises are farmed. So, I had a moment of "Oh no, animal cruelty!" Then I remembered this was fiction. And an AU, and who knows, maybe she was awesome to the dogs she raised and didn't keep them locked up in kennels but let them run free-range...and they were all vicious.

That said, I do like that Dumbledore isn't necessarily Evil, just experiencing the consequence of terrible spell casting and bad planning. This is a truly different take on the whole genre of manipulative Dumbledore, so I kind of liked it.

I also enjoyed seeing Joyce get her Vent on. It was a bit more murderous than I would normally expect of her, as she's always struck me as the find the legal way to cut their legs out first kind of gal. But I know that everyone has their limits.

Meanwhile, it was good to see Faith and friends making progress, as well as Giles.

I look forward, as usual, to reading more. :)
Comments from author:
Yep, it was a hey look we're elsewhere moment. :) As for the dogs, have no fear Jess isn't heartlessly killing dogs. :)

Yeah the spell went horribly wrong in this world. Sure it could have been worse but it could have been a lot better. Dumbledore was trying to get things to work and things went screwy.

It was the picture album... it pushed her over the edge.

Faith is making some progress. It's not quite as fast as Faith would like but it's progress. Giles is having some fun setting things up.

Thanks and I'm looking for more on your story as well. :)
Review By [(Current Donor)Katrina] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from tavinseven
Review:
I love your story and like how your finally showing what's happening with the rest of the gang, but I want to caution you on going in too many directions at once. The faith arc is great and I look forward to what you do with it and adding in giles and rib was a good idea. The flora potter arc however came out of nowhere and didn't have any build up on why they were there. It just didn't seem to fit so I hope you add more to it later at least to explain why they're there. You might have mentioned it before because I think I remember a conversation about joyce and xander going somewhere, so if so just let me know.

Still great story I always get happy when I get an email saying your story's been updated.
Comments from author:
As for the Faith arc, I'm having fun with it still. As for too many directions, I'm not planning on adding more directions until I wrap something up but that might be a while as I have a story for those three arcs for a bit. As for Flora coming out of left field, it will make sense or at least come closer to making sense soon.

I'm glad that you're enjoying the story.
Review By [tavinseven] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from CageFire
Review:
Nice new chapter. :) I'm still lost with the world of darkness stuff, but the rest is good. Although I don't think I've ever seen a microwave with a delay before it runs before. Although I'll write it off as creative license since you needed a timed ignition source.
Comments from author:
As for the world of darkness stuff, I'm trying to explain needed things. Beyond that, really all you need is that the world is more corrupt than our world... think Sin City version of the real world...

As for the microwave, it's not creative license so much as based off my microwave. It has a timer function that you can use to have it start in x minutes... I'm not sure how strange that is or isn't but I know that it has it. :) It also had the sensors for the door inside.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Review:
I always hated how the bad guys got away with everything in canon with the Dursleys walking away scott free.
Comments from author:
I was a little confused about that myself. I mean the Dursleys were seriously messed up in the head and they walked away at the end... sure they sort of had to relocate for we're not told how long but that's it when they should have been facing prison time. But yeah basically nothing bad happened to them or really anyone other than Bella, Voldemort and the evil werewolf... I mean... we're not even sure how much prison time the Malfoys did or didn't do. Luckily this is fan fiction so I can correct that oversight.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from grd
Review:
Joyce pissed off is scary and sexy. Especially with a light saber, she rocks!
Comments from author:
I figure everyone has their breaking point and she hit hers.
Review By [grd] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from WCSII
Review:
...err, uh, yay, active scoobs in a Potter verse. ... Um, question, curiosity really, when did they get to this Potter verse? (I must have missed it six chapters back, since it wasn't mentioned in chapters sixty one through sixty five) But still, yay, taking out the trash.
Comments from author:
They got there a few minutes before the start of events in the chapter. So no you didn't miss it a couple of chapters ago. As for taking out the trash, yeah they're not good people in this one. (not that they are in other worlds but yeah...)
Review By [WCSII] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from lordamnesia
Review:
Ahh, no broken phoenix peoples left! Other then that, I loved how you dealt with the Dursleys there! Keep up the great work!
Comments from author:
Thanks and they're working on phoenix people.
Review By [lordamnesia] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from KrisB
Review:
WCSII you are right that Xander is usually a rouge type. He doesn't want to be though. Given half a chance he likes to play the warrior. I see alot of this as power rush off the newness of everything. It's not really been long since they got their powers. Has it even been a year yet?

I agree that they aren't really thinking out of the box yet.

I'll have to spin that as Mist is only human and can't come up with everything. Mist just enjoys really powering up the characters and than unleashing them. Sighs. I can't really blame Mist. I do the same thing except much worse when I try to get my ideas out. ;) I'm no where near Mist quality as a writer.

I enjoyed the intro into yet another HP world though I had to wonder what was up with everything.

I have no worries about Marge or the Dursleys getting removed or the manner.

I think that you were foreshadowing abit with the Crimson Howler pelt... I don't remember if they've "cured" the entire werewolf bit. I can see Flora Lily Potter with a Crimson Howler pelt and whatever else is needed to be adopted into that clan.

I'm sorry, but the entire turning into animals bit never really sat well with me. I can buy magicals turning into animals. (I couldn't really see the point though...) I can even buying magicals "losing control" of the "inner animal" and basically going native and not remembering that they were a human or being able to change back. Discworld Witchs some times have that issue with burrowing. They can take on other forms and do a mental ride along other critters, but it has the dangerous negative that even the best have a strong chance of losing themselves to the animal and not wanting to come back. (That's more how magic should be. Strong Pro, but strong Price and a Con along with it. Makes it where you need to judge if it's worth it rather than just doing everything.)

With those types of stories, you'd think that turning into an animal isn't the hard part. Nah that's easy. Being in control and being able to change back at will is the real trick. You'd think that magicals would spread the word that only the dangerously fool hardy would dare attempt changing into an animal... Blinks. Thinking of who actually has learned the skill that might actually make sense.

Well might point with werewolves, is magicals are supposed to be able to control their damn transformations and all that crap. I could see non magicals being cursed and not being able to control it. I don't see an actual magical ever not be in full control of their transformation. That's just my personal POV on the subject when I think about.

Werewolves just sound stupid when you have other magicals trying to change into animals... It's like they are missing a trick to allow them control. If they got control of everything, than it would just be written off as the other style of transformation. O.k. re-reading my thoughts. I guess I can understand werewolves. they could have been some ones attempt/experiment at making an animal transformation easier. It got botched.

I liked Morgana being armed with some self defense. I'm glad the bullies were merely disabled and not splatted. That would have just been mean to the poor girl.

That Dumbledore at least has guilt. Normally, I'd say just kill him. The stupid like ones actually seem to do actively do far more damage than the actual evil ones! The only reason I'd hold off on shouting for that Dumbledore's death is because he actually feels guilt.

Never seeing or knowing what happened to his chosen one would actually be far more of a punishment than anything else that you can do. Just remove that soul fragment, close out the Potter accounts, than just leave that world. Well, maybe break Sirus out of jail and just after that, see what effect space based phasers or other weapons have on said prison and their guards... Hey, there's a thought. Just beam Sirus aboard one of your space ships and than either beam or fire a weapon down. The only reason to say and watch is to see if its a valid method of disposing of dementors.

I know in your quantum leap Harry fic that his family has a major hate on with the goblins... I don't know if this branch of them has done anything worthy of removing them. You've got all sorts of fun new things to test out though. usually, I'd say teleport down a missle and see what happens. That might have adverse effects on London though. We don't want the great London Sink Hole as an after effect. I'd go with magical goblin wards likely block magical teleportation. Science based teleportation "might" work rather well. It depends on the fic and the reasoning. I just had this fun thought of them just beaming all the detected gold under London out of the various vaults and into their ship before leaving the reality. If teleporting an actual bomb sounds too dangerous to the city above, some outside of the box thinking is required.

Flooding the tunnels would likely be a start. I'd think just teleporting it in wouldn't really be cost effective though. You know. I think that it's time to be really mean and creative. It's time to ask Dawn for a favor finding a world that matches up with... Dwarf Fortress. Have them scan in all the examples of "digging too deep" and basically just beam the Builder down into various goblin tunnels and build various spawn points. ;)

I'd have to actually try teleporting something into the department of mysteries as well. I'm thinking more along something going boom rather than looting though. Hmm, I don't think that you've actually scanned that Arch have you? I guess that should be on the todo list just out of curiosity.

I come off rather violent and whiny in this post don't I?
Comments from author:
It's true it hasn't been all that long in the grand scheme of things.

As for thinking outside the box, It's still sort of this shiny new toy. Also yeah, I'm only human. I'm also trying to keep a touch of sanity so a lot of my crazier ideas get tossed out the window as something they wouldn't think up.

As for the weird HP crossover world that they went to... more will be explained later.

Yeah, the Dursleys needed to go away in a permanent fashion.

You're half right about the Crimson Howlers and Flora.

As for turning into animals, I think in a lot of worlds the problem is turning back. :) I would think that in a world where you can change into an animal you could fix the werewolf curse. Then again... a string of portkeys to never see the moon on those days or possibly a time turner that goes forward... but then it wouldn't be as 'tragic' of a curse.

As for magic and costs and prices... mostly it's an ability that can result in making a hammer and always looking for a nail. It's a very nice hammer but sometimes I think that leads to lazyness.

And yeah, I'd agree everyone that turns into an anamagi in HP was a bit crazy. Even McGonagall was a bit off.

Flora has control of her forms so do most of the werewolves in this crazy crossover.

Yeah splattering the bullies would have been bad for Morgana's mental health. As for self defense, she's Giles's daughter. I can't really see him not at least teaching her the basics. I know Rip would.

As for Dumbledore, it's just a case of the spell doing something unexpected and horrible. So yeah he's guilty.

I agree just leaving has some appeal. :) Then again so goes teleporting the gold and gems out of Gringotts... :) Spawn points in Gringotts might work nicely as well depending on what they spawn.

I look at it as a chance for Joyce to get creative in order to deal with the problems.

Teleporting something into the department of mysteries might work depending on how they do it.

A touch violent yeah. :)
Review By [KrisB] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Six" from Bluesnowman
Review:
wonderful as always
Comments from author:
Thanks.
Review By [Bluesnowman] • Date [18 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Five" from DCG
Review:
How much to do we need to bribe you with to slap that cowgirl pattern onto ranmachan?

Haa well aside from that im enjoying the world wrecking you got going on, really couldn't happen to a better place. Making a decent family of wolfs would change ever thing just by itself let alone the rest of the prep work.
Comments from author:
Probably more than you've got for applying a cowgirl pattern to Ranmachan... as they don't really have a good way to do that... short of having him use a ritual... and I can't see him picking cowgirl... :)

I'm glad that you're enjoying the world wrecking and yeah I think making a decent family of wolves is going to alter things a bit...
Review By [DCG] • Date [14 Sep 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Five" from aeraveil
Review:
You should set them down in the SWTOR MMO universe, they could have lots of fun there....
Comments from author:
Maybe, maybe not. They've done the star wars bit. There are a couple of fun things but that's really it.
Review By [aeraveil] • Date [14 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Five" from KrisB
Review:
I really like this. This group has the potential to just go on and on and never really get boring.

I think WCSII is getting tired of the minion development and wants more personal involvement with say them just building things with lures and letting the locals be lured into handling their own problems.

I really wish Katrina would get inspired and add a few chapters to her fic. Her builders were going more the techy route and were still really learning how to do things. Yours are still rather young, but have a certain mind set.

I agree with you. What Xander did in Marvel was both low key and likely all that he'd really want to try. Especially after his first encounter of a marvel person got the Builder ability copied. That just screams, stay away from that verse. As you've shown, Rogue is a nice girl, but there are other not so nice folks that have similar abilities or like playing evil mad scientists.

Her building her own little lab and than realizing, hey this world is hell. Xander and his group basically have an undeveloped dyson sphere of space. Hey, that means, I can build a copy of the X-mansion and invite Wolverine and friends and get out of dodge before the real trouble shows up.

Giles and Joyce are actually the only adults that you Builderified. They aren't just discovering what it is to be a builder and growing up, but hey they are truly immortal. That fact hasn't really sunk in.

That may be a major reason that Loki wants his daughter to hang out with them. It's sad to lose friends. Builders are mainly durable.

They've really spent only a few months or so on any given world. They've not tried settling down for 100-200 years and watched people that they got some what attached to die.

You've actually by passed most of the negatives of immortality though. Immorality by myself would utterly suck. Being able to grant immorality to my family and either a limited amout of friends or folks within a given area, makes it rock unless folks went mad after too long from brains not being able to properly store or process "lots" of memories. Hey, you've got to have some sort of problems to work on.

The easiest with that, would be off loading various memories to a long term storage. I don't need to run around with thousands of years of memory. The last 100-200 years would likely be fine to get by on.

Your Builders are likely not to run into that issue. Your various minions and friends that they've picked up and granted various forms of immorality might encounter something like that down the line. Still though, if you can over some one who would usually live 78 years something 7800 years before madness sets in, most would likely take it.

I usually like how you build up a various over powered army and send it out crusading. You've actually done that twice in this fic already. Once with chocolate Sith and another with Dawn inviting the folks to raid her demon world for high leveled loot.

I think that you've done the right thing and sort of stepped back and let the story and people focus on other characters for awhile.

Faith's time in WoD is great. I had never even heard of that before. The way you break the setting in there isn't actually nearly as interesting as the various characters and how they are reacting to your people.

I almost think that the WoD part could only be made more awesome if it was done through the eyes of a friendly local that eventually gets recruited or just sees it all from the background and has no freaking clue what's happened or where these new folks has shown up from until later. But hey the place seems nicer and the character has a rather odd kinky new girlfriend.

Makes me think that you need to try to work Sliders into it. Sliders actually gives them a worthy multi universal enemy to track down and a reason to setup various base camps with high tech sensors and boot strapping locals.

Who would be the best to adventure with the Sliders for awhile? Oh, Buffy, Ranma, and Akane come to mind. We've not really seen them lately. It would be fun to see Buffy as a new master of anything goes.

Eventually, I'd like to look into their force temples again. I can see the Jedi going strong as well as Willow's group. I can see Joyce's and Gile's groups both being more of artist/research communes though. They'd still likely be around and going strong.

The "temple" Andrew and Xander tossed together would physically still be there. Would their society look the same? I really want to see how Red's and Dawn's both effect things on the planetary scale and more of the galactic stage as drawing certain types to their temples.

That's more a good 10-20 years down the line or some times how you look in on things say a good 1000 years in the future. It would be funny if the group went to visit and asked, has it really been a thousand years? It's only seemed like 2 months... Time differential. Opps, well now they get to see how their little societies fared in the long term.

I'm glad that Rip pulled Giles from his researching. Diablo is a good setting for him to scan various magical books in and just do the demon hunting thing. I actually think the Diablo setting would be better if they setup a township that drew various adventures in and trained them to go dungeon crawling.

There are several settings with skill/job trainers of various grades that it could be fun to plop down in other settings.

Sort of how Giles went in and setup that magical shop, but the building just lured its own operator to run the place. I was thinking something like a dojo, training center, or bounty office for demon hunters and such and let the locals attempt to clean things up. Heck, put out a notice that Giles has a really interesting yet useless item and that he needs such and such to attempt to fix it. Have them be the quest givers.

Of every one in your fic, the plot thread that I actually was most interested in was Joyce's place and her working on her force temple. That and you drew in some rather interesting "side kicks" to team up with her.

I only know the basics of Eureka being a town of mad scientists. I really do think that Joyce needs her own side quest. Now that summer is over and her new side kick is back at school while she has mainly finished working on her force temple project, she wonders what she will do until she gets a call from her friends, and she is invited to visit at Eureka and needs to build her own little homestead / mad science lab to just sort of fit in the background there.

You know building herself a home that looks very Stars Wars with actual Star Wars working tech to prove her mad science street creed. ;)
Comments from author:
As for the group, they've been fun so far.

As for lures, they'll probably use some at some point. As for getting the locals to deal with their own issues... that works in some places. Not so well in others. :) I'll probably use it at some point.

I really wish Katrina would add more as well. :) I enjoy her story a lot.

Yeah, having someone copy his powers scared him a bit. Because while Rogue is fairly sane all things considered, I can think of a couple of power stealing people that aren't.

I wanted to show that sometimes they just need to cut and run.

Yep, Giles and Joyce are really the only adults. The whole I'm going to live until I die hasn't really sunk in yet.

As for Loki, yeah. I mean Builders are rather durable and it's nice to have immortal friends.

You're right they haven't really done the couple of hundred years somewhere.

The builders are fine, the rest... they might need to do something about memory storage at some point. (way in the future.)

Dawn's project was fun to write.

I'm glad it mostly makes sense even not being familiar with the setting.

Perspective change...hmm that gives me some ideas for later.

As for sliders... I vaguely remember a couple of episodes of that show.

As for Buffy, Akane and Ranma... I could see them having fun with Sliders if I was going to go there.

I think a time jump bit could be fun for the Force users.. I might not do a large 1000 year one... but a shorter one... might be useful and allow them to see what happened with all of the stuff.

As for setting up a town in Diablo, it's hard to do when it's a game.. though I guess he could go back after this to a Diablo world... and set up a town. :)

I can see him setting up some skill trainers or something and luring adventurers in. :)

Joyce and a mad scientist kick would be fun. A starwars high tech home could fit in a couple of places.
Review By [KrisB] • Date [13 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Five" from WCSII
Review:
*Le sigh* Sorry about the rant... and while I can understand that gifted writers don't write the story, they tell what the story writes... and that warrior type character's see violence as the key... Well, Buffy, Elizabeth and Faith, yes, are definitely warriors; most of the rest aren't. Xander, Giles, and Rouge (or Billie) heh sorry, just noticed that one of the builders was the same type as their nick name. Rouges. Joyce is more bard, and Willow, Red, Jenny, and Dawn are all Mages (of some type or another) I may be missing a builder but I think I've covered them all. But, with the exception of Joyce, Giles, Rouge, or Jenny, they've all taken the violence solves everything path. Xander, yes, manages to branch out for assassin class, but he too takes the RTS army builder approach. I'm not saying don't make minions, nor am I saying don't build unit producing bases... I'm just asking that not every story about these builders be a rehash on StarCraft. And again, I'm not truly complaining about the kink, so much as the absurd abundance. Yes, yes, females are capable of multiple orgasms... doesn't mean they stop for a quickie every day. Well, unless they're sex addicts but even those are a day or two apart.

As for writing myself... believe me if I could write worth shit, I would. But I can't even write more than three pages as sixteen point Tohama font per year, and it still sucks...well it sucks bad things. So, part of my gripe is that Mist does this StarCraft approach for all of his stories (at least I believe they are a he) and the few that don't is all about how to make it a StarCraft approach (MOAR MINIONS!!! ) And after seventeen stories of RTS army builders, I kinda have to ask, CAN he write any kind of other story. Since no one else is writing in this vein of continuity (two months, yes school, four months before that, two during summer break... all the free time spent outside or sick?) and Mist only keeps writing army builders... I ineptly worded a request for Mist to try his hand at another sort of story style.

To Mist... yeah mystic items... still doesn't break the world, like I said you over tip the scales in your characters favor, such that the evil PTBs would have to pit that eldritch god from the spin off against them to potentially win, and the way you're writing that story, it'll get trapped in a female body that'll need to fulfill certain unnecessary reproductive needs (unnecessary for an eldritch god at least) that'll practically enslave the creature to either the girls, or Harry. Yes I also get that they were told to wrap it up... but you never even tried the other worldly tech/life, reviving the dead in either of the last two loops. You don't exactly write the character's as short sighted so I'm wondering what made them suddenly stupid (The character's, not you) enough that it wouldn't even occur to them to try, and focused solely on trinkets that make them all but gods (among man) Especially when you then drop the bomb that they needed the tech to fight, and take the fight back to alien invaders immediately after.

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to figure out why you short changed your characters... your story, which if I'm reading correctly is the start of BCWYWF's StarCraft arc.

Beyond that... we both know that none of the builders would 'get bored' with building armies and laying waste to the old world order. Especially since you have a thing for StarCraft. The only one that might even ask the question is Xander, and Joyce and Jenny would be the only ones to not answer no, and only because they'd say they never tried it so they had no reason to be bored of it. Heck Dawn would act like he was being a silly guy not understanding a female thing, and state of course not. And just because you love Xander being the but monkey that never gets a break, Rouge would saunter in, and call for him in a seductive voice. (you've by now have probably made a ring that would allow her to control her mutation... she has a distinct dearth of male choices, since you have such an active libido fueled imagination, you figure out why; though my own imagination sees crying tears of joy (Billie) and getting laughed at by the clones while still performing (Xander))
Comments from author:
You're right, not every story needs to be starcraft like. There are plenty of other stories that could be told. That said building up your tech base and your group of heroes means that you've got people to help with projects. You've also got people to bring back to help fill up a really large dyson sphere and a town that needs more people. As for the sex, they might be a bit crazy about it.

As for breaking the world for the other fic... they've got the ability to turn magic items into permanent powers. The deck gives them random magical items... and they can get a lot of them... that starts to add up... does it really break the world... not yet... but toss in some Stark Tech and various things and they're going to causing some changes.

As for alien tech, would you really want a bunch of non working alien tech floating around in your head? I know I wouldn't want to. They really don't know what would work or not. They tried to stick with stuff that would work. As for bringing back the dead, that takes a fair amount of power.

As for short changing my characters, I didn't really they were told to stop by a rep of the god that was helping them out... they stopped. As for Dawn's story, it might be true it might not. For all they know something could have went wrong with Halloween. As for short changing them, I'm not sure I did. They pushed things a bit but at the same time, they have a lot of things to work on other than just work.

As for Starcraft...

As for getting bored of building armies, Builders like building. They might do some other things in there...Xander being the universe's monkey, he's got weird luck.
Review By [WCSII] • Date [13 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Five" from Bluesnowman
Review:
great work as always. you should have them go into Destiny. I am thinking about doing a SI story about me bieng a builder and going first in the mass effect verse and then the Destiny verse.
Comments from author:
Hmm, more stories is good.
Review By [Bluesnowman] • Date [13 Sep 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixty Five" from DragonBard
Review:
Need Jenny and Joyce to show up more, as they've kind of faded away.
Comments from author:
I shall work on that.
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [13 Sep 14] • Not Rated
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