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She Walks in Beauty

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Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Dmitri
Review:
Well, this was another interesting insight into the (kind of-sort of) wonderful world of Faith. It's nice to see that she has made at least some attachments, though this one is doomed, simply because Cheyenne's a vampire and Faith's a Slayer (just ask Buffy - that sort of thing just never works, and the vampire moves to L.A. if they're lucky.) Also, nice depiction of the 'vampire brigade' - we never got to see it in canon...but then again, it was wiped-out by school kids with bows and similar weapons, so it probably wasn't very good to begin with. Thanks for the chapter, in short.
Review By [Dmitri] • Date [27 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Dmitri
Review:
So far, this is a rather interesting story. However, Faith is depicted as a somewhat shallow person, sort of like the pre-L.A. Cordelia, who is mostly interested in herself and in physical beauty. This can work, even in canon, but it also makes Faith less rounded as a character than in some of your other stories. Otherwise, this story is off to a great start.
Comments from author:
Well, I guess if I'm going to be compared unfavorably to someone, being judged as being not as good as myself is the best possible outcome.
(^_^)

It's true that this Faith is more shallow and self-absorbed than she is in some of my other stuff.
A lot of that is intentional; this is a younger Faith than I usually do; pre-graduation and all, but it's also a thing where this is a Faith who not only isn't trying to please Buffy and live up to the other girl's expectations, this is a Faith who is actively rebelling against that whole concept. This Faith WANTS to be bad, she's 'acting out', in a way, much like Buffy did in 'When she was bad', just in a more destructive and prolonged way. If Buffy and the rest don't think she can be good, then FUCK good! She'll be bad, and she'll damn well enjoy herself along the way.

That should (hopefully) come clearer in the next chapter, as we see more details of how she's indulging herself.

Thanks for commenting; I'll keep your concerns in mind as I go forward.
Review By [Dmitri] • Date [26 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Recent Donor)DaveTurner
Review:
Okay, this was a really nicely written first chapter and I can't wait to see where Faith will be off to so please update soon.

I have, however, one little nit-pick. It's something that when I see it steam comes out of my ears and my teeth move from side to side!

Unless you are trying to keep warm you do not FIRE a bow. You 'shoot' a bow (or indeed a crossbow) and you 'loose' arrows as in, "Loose your arrows/shafts wholly together!" Often the last thing a French Knight heard along with the whistling of all those cloth-yard shafts coming towards him!

The thing about 'firing' weapons only came in with the introduction of Firearms of course.

A small thing I know but one that really bugs me whenever I see or hear it.

Whatever, really enjoyed this and I'm putting it on 'Track' so I don't miss any of it.

D.
Comments from author:
Hey there, Dave.
(waves)

::Unless you are trying to keep warm you do not FIRE a bow. You 'shoot' a bow (or indeed a crossbow) and you 'loose' arrows as in, "Loose your arrows/shafts wholly together!" Often the last thing a French Knight heard along with the whistling of all those cloth-yard shafts coming towards him!::

Pbbbbbbbbbbt.
I know, I know; remember, I've read the Change series novels too. Those, plus a pinch of the Hunger Games stuff, are the source of Fatih's bow obsession here.
One time, I used 'Fire' instead of 'Shot' and you bust me on it.
Feh!
Fine, changed it.

Gee, I'm sure glad *I'm* not super picky about such things in the stories *I* read.
Oh, wait....
(^_^)

Glad you're enjoying it, and thank you for letting me know.

(grumblegrumble you don't 'fire' a bow, unless you're cold, grrrrrr grumblegrumble I'll show you 'fire', frumblegrumble)
Review By [(Recent Donor)DaveTurner] • Date [26 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Eukar
Review:
Interesting. Can't wait to see where this goes.
Comments from author:
Thanks!
Review By [Eukar] • Date [25 May 14] • Not Rated
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