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Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from (Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard
Review:
great update. :)
Comments from author:
Thank you :)
Review By [(Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard] • Date [20 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from arturusoriginal
Review:
Nice, very very nice.
You have given us another well paced and interesting chapter.
About the only thing I raised an eyebrow over was that Buffy took it a little too calmly.
It's not a major point but I did wonder at the almost instant acceptance of the blood bond.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Thank you

Buffy is pretty accepting of things when she has a choice and she can make the decision of whether or not to keep what it is. Buffy only gets angry when she doesn't have a choice or when she's been deceived. Such as when she became the slayer and wasn't given the choice in the matter. And when Angel turned out to be a vampire, it was the fact that he turned out to be a vamp and hadn't told her up front.

Another factor on how well she accepts things is whether or not she has input from the other Scoobies. When she's left alone to her own devises and allowed to think things through, Buffy tends to be far more open minded.

Buffy is far more accepting when things are explained to her and when that happens she doesn't go off the deep end.

When I first decided to have Buffy blood bonded in the story I double checked on how she would react. (benefit of having the complete DVD set for all 7 seasons) Buffy only reacts badly when choice is taken from her.

Buffy ironically has a relatively calm nature when she isn't stressed over having a big bad breathing down her neck and when she doesn't have the Scoobies injecting their own opinions on her.

Thanks again for your review.
Review By [arturusoriginal] • Date [17 Jul 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from grd
Review:
Very eager to see the NID blunder very badly. Ty
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

They are going to do just that, whether they survive it is another matter.
Review By [grd] • Date [17 Jul 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from (Current Donor)wizathogwarts
Review:
Not only Stargate but also Highlander now. I have no idea where you're going with this except it looks fun and I'm looking forward to what Buffy and Nat do next.
Does Buffy still have the slayer powers and do they enhance Buffy's new Royston abilities?
Keep it coming.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

This story is based heavily on the cross-over rpg campaign and there are a couple more crossovers that could be included.

When Buffy and Nat start the action and violence it will be explosive. :)

Yes Buffy does still have the slayer abilities, she no longer has the ghost of the demon spirit that gave her her powers.

Buffy's slayer powers do enhance the Royston abilities. Royston's gain in power the longer they live. A brand new royston isn't that powerful, kinda like Buffy at the beginning of season 2. Natalia and Lea are immensely powerful, they have been around for an extremely long time (Even if they don't fully remember it) Buffy's Slayer abilities mixed with the Royston abilities puts her right up there with Natalia in power and ability.

Is that any help?

Thank you :)
Review By [(Current Donor)wizathogwarts] • Date [17 Jul 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from cmdruhura
Review:
They learnt that lesson.


So you can teach an old dog new tricks. I wonder how many 'Bad dog' and 'raps on the nose with a newspaper' it took?
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Well it took about 5 serious spankings from the main characters for it to sink in that annoying the Royston family is a bad idea. Which comes from the game world this story is based on. :)

Edit: It was fun to Game Master that series of games
Review By [cmdruhura] • Date [17 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from (Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard
Review:
Great fic so far! Hope buffy stays what she is :)
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Thank you.

I'm currently writing chapter 8 where she gets the whole Royston package. In ch 7 she got the economy version. :)
Review By [(Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard] • Date [23 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from grd
Review:
Completely unexpected, wow!
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Thank you.
Review By [grd] • Date [22 Jun 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Shadowman
Review:
A good story which quite nicely written. However the punctuation usage is in need of a bit of work.
Still and all a very enjoyable story and I look forward to more of it.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Thanks

Yep, it's going to be revised sometime over the next two to three weeks. chapter seven should be up in the next few days.
Review By [Shadowman] • Date [20 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AceDreamer
Review:
I'm assuming that 'Natalia' is an original character. Unfortunately, the way I read the first few chapters the assumption seem to be that the reader will know, at least some of, her background and general motivations. This makes the story quite difficult to read, compared with the background that people reading stuff on ttf have for the Buffyverse.

The way you portray the 'love at first sight' between Buffy and Natalia is something that I find difficult to accept. At this point in her time-line Buffy assumes herself to be heterosexual, and, if she found herself suddenly attracted to women she'd be very likely to suspect demonic or magical influence. I'd expect her to at least try and get this possibility checked-out. As for Natalia, we know nothing about her, her (previous) sexuality, relationships, native or accepted culture, anything - at least we need a bit of tour of her psyche to make things more credible.

Would Buffy want to at least hint about her relationship with friends, see how they felt, maybe discuss it with her best (girl) friend? I'd have thought so. As it stands it looks more like mind control, or Buffy suddenly joining a cult - which, with all her flaws, is something Buffy is very likely too strong willed for.

Starting with relationship stuff, you as author imply that it's important to the story, and, I think it needs the emotional logic that underpins it at least a bit more laid-out.

This has the seeds of a good story, but, for it to work well I think it needs a lot more initial fleshing-out.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Natalia is both original character and published.

Nope. it was assumed that the reader would know very little or nothing about the character. Which was very deliberate.

As for Buffy, if her friends we're around no doubt she would. In the time frame the story is set in it's at the very beginning of of the friends pulling apart, which is why i chose to set it between season 3 and 4. Willow is living her life with Oz and Xander is on his road trip.

As for Buffy's sexuality...Buffy is very open minded (Kinda quoting Joss on this bit from an interview). Buffy hasn't had the opportunity to explore her sexuality very much.

I seriously can't see Buffy hinting to Willow about finding out that she likes girls, let alone discussing it with her. As close as the two looked Buffy didn't discuss anything that involved with her feelings that hadn't already come out in the open via other means. Angel was her sounding board not Willow. Ironically if Faith hadn't turned evil she could have been the one Buffy would have turned to. Which is why Willow hated her from the get go.


As for Natalia's background It will come out slowly through the story. Ironically a chunk of who and what Natalia is will be coming in ch7 & 8. It's kinda needed because Nat will explain to Buffy what she did and why.

As for the love at first sight i have seen it happen in real life .. no i didn't use that as a base, the relationship between Buff and Nat is going a little bit slower. Had i set the relationship at any other time it would not have worked. once she had been with Riley she was 'no i can't because they always end in disaster' and Before, Angel would have got in the way, bar some repercussion from Halloween cossy.


Well my partner has read the story and she would be the first one to jump on me for any pseudo mind control stuff anything thing else a bit fishy (and has done,) so I'm pretty safe on that one.

Anyway, Thank you for your thoughts, i may not agree with them but i do appreciate them and the time spent writing them.
Review By [AceDreamer] • Date [18 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from ReaperCB
Review:
I'm liking this so far, but I'm also very very confused... I hope to see more soon.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Thanks.

Send me an email via my profile and i'll try to unconfuse you :)

Edit: tell me whats confusing you.
Review By [ReaperCB] • Date [18 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from raxadian
Review:
I am sorry to say that you completely derailed the story.

First the girl has skills similar to Jason Charles Bourne. Then in this chapter, out of the blue, you give her mental powers, were like bite ability, fangs and teleportacion.

And the slayer essence was destroyed way too easy, considering that not even death seems to be able to make a slayer a human again. Heck not even the end of magic (As much as I don't like those comics) was enough to "deactivate" slayers.

The story would perfectly work if she was just some kind of super soldier. Slayers seem to pick the use of weapons easily. Buffy just asked to learn to use a gun, learning to use a single type of gun should not be that hard for Buffy.

And dude, teleportacion? Did they steal an Asgardian or Ancient device?

Next thing we know, she will have heat vision, be able to fly, and a super armor.

Honestly, I don't think I can take this story seriously anymore. I am kind of expecting the Spanish Inquisition or Squirrel Girl to appear next.

And if you wanted to rush things, you could just have time skipped a week or two, explain that during that time Buffy learned to use a gun, and move on with the story.

edit 2:

Nope, still not like the story derailment, I came here for butter and you have me margarine. Is really sad, I was loving this story until this chapter but whatever, is your story, not mine, and you are free to do whatever you want.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

The roystons are not super soldiers, they are something else entirely.

Buffy hasn't lost the slayerness. Just the remains of the essence. the essence moved on to kendra and then faith.

I have to agree the comics are nothing like the tv series.

Check out my other stories 'The trouble with families' and 'where did the slayer go', and 'a journey through the realms'.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [17 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from djhardim
Review:
Looks good.

I have a feeling that the speedometer was in kilometers per hour, rather than miles per hour. The actual speed was probably around 180 mph - still quite fast.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

I'm thinking that too, Xander just misread the speedo. :)
Review By [djhardim] • Date [16 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from raxadian
Review:
Oh, Buffy doing training from hell? Is gonna be fun!
Comments from author:
hehe nope not quite :)
Review By [raxadian] • Date [16 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from AllenPitt
Review:
The town's really going to hell now that Mayor Wilkins isn't there to keep order. Or something like that. Poor Xander. I sure hope he has his seat belt buckled. Probably not a chance encounter. And to think, Anya would be the safer person to be with right now.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

He has :) and it is ironically a totally chance encounter :)

Who knows she could end up as the future Mrs. Harris :))
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [16 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from alynambered
Review:
I'm really liking this story, with the action AND hidden agendas.

One thing I've noticed is that you're having a very serious problem with your 'your/you're's!

Also, please keep in mind that it's very easy, while you (hopefully) know what each group is up to, that us readers can get lost. For example, Joyce's stop in LA with apparently different security zones/levels in a single Department's building??

Anyway, anticipating the next chapter, thanks for sharing!!
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.

Yep the 'your/you're's. They will not stick in my brain for some reason.

I am making this up entirely as i go, except for where the characters are concerned. places and situations (except Royston Industries), SGC and Sunnydale are all made up on the spot when I'm writing the story. eventually i'll get around and map out the sub-station. It might show up in later chapters.

I'm glad your liking the story :)
Review By [alynambered] • Date [15 Jun 14] • Not Rated
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