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The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now

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Review of chapter "The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now" from LurkerOOl
Review:
I just had the best time reading this little vignette. Please tell me there is more, and that it is not abandoned. I do think it would be interesting to do a longer crossover with the scoobies in Sunnydale on their way to whatever conclusion you have to the story. I don't think it would weaken the story you have in Meeting of Minds.
Comments from author:
Not abandoned, but not in progress at all.

Mostly because I haven't figured if Buffy will follow to L.A. to try and track down these apocolyptic demons which were too rude to stick around her small town waiting for her to slay them. Stupid demons. ;)

BTW, if you wait, oh 3 more days, the opposite side of this will FINALLY be posted over here.

Just an FYI.
Review By [LurkerOOl] • Date [14 Jan 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now" from Iceflame
Review:
Given this is December, I'd say you desperately need to revise your dates for seeing this Buffy as Immortal story into the world :). Though I will be waiting, not at ALL patientlyto see where this ones goes :). I didn't read the one this one branches from until I seen this story, but I had a hard time following it some, in large part cause I'm primarily a Buffy-shipper, and it's got more of the other characters than Buffy so far :).
Review By [Iceflame] • Date [16 Dec 04] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now" from Maethoriell
Review:
Nice. I can't wait to hear about whatever happens next, could you please email me at erikalya@hotmail.com when you either update or write the sequel?
Loved it!
Comments from author:
FCA's sequel - detailing how Buffy and gang react to the mayhem, and start their pursuit of the Big Bad "Death", and his associates, who were inconsiderate enough not to stick around Sunnydale for Buffy to vanquish them - will probably be started in November, or December at this point. This is assuming I ever manage to get MoM finished. (The story which spawned FCA, and of which chapters 1-16 are now posted here, and the rest through 26 will be sent out over the next month or so...I am STUCK on Chapter 27 of about 38...)

I can tell you it should be fun. I plan on having Anya panic upon hearing who Buffy saw. She will recount how when the ex-slave, and witch Cassandra summoned her to wreck vengeance upon Death several thousand years ago, D'hofran warned her not to bother him, and further cautioned that should she ever see him in person, to run. Back in the old days, even the most bloodthirsty demons thought he was a bit violent. The capper will be when Willie admits to hearing vague rumors that the Horsemen were reforming a few years ago to resume their plague of pain and misery upon the earth.

Buffy will know she must peruse and stop them. But how, and where? It will be an interesting challenge for me to write, and should also be an interesting read. I hope!

Dana...
Review By [Maethoriell] • Date [13 Jul 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now" from Maria
Review:
I personally like this story as it stands; Marcus raises a point, but can't Buffy be curious every once in a while? *hisses out a breath* I see nothing wrong with your style of writing but I'm not familiar enough with Methos to help.
Sorry, just trying to add my two cents. Keep up the good work and I hope you over come your writing challenges on the other story.
Comments from author:
Thanks, Maria.

In all fairness, I need to point out that Marcus's comments were in regard to a previous version of the story, in which I more or less left Buffy staring out the window apathetically as the Vamp Attack occurred. It was in response to his comments that I added the bits about her wanting to go, really.

Although in my mind, had she tried to get out there, by the time she arrived, it would of been all over but for the Coyote running off for the woods...

I have resumed work on the larger story, and am still considering whether adding this scene in to it will strengthen it, or weaken it. Fortunately, I have a couple of days to make up my mind.

Even more fortunately, should I chose to add it, and it does turn out to hurt the story, at least one of my Alpha or Beta readers should raise a hue and cry about it.

In any case, I have pretty much decided that at some point, I will resume with the sequel for this bit wherein folks can see what Buffy makes of the Mayhem in the Parking lot.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment. :)
Review By [Maria] • Date [11 May 04] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now" from MarcusRowland
Review:
This just feels wrong. Buffy wouldn't let anyone get attacked by vampires that way, no matter how oddly they behaved. And that just ruins the story for me.
Comments from author:
Hi Marcus.
First, let me say I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to ruin the story for you. I'll seriously consider changing it so she rushes out to try and help, only to arrive after all is said and done. The only challenges I would have with doing so, are 1) everything is from her POV, so she will miss most of the action as she tries to render aid, and 2) how to get everyone out of Dodge before either they notice Buffy, or she can stop them. Either course of action would generate more interaction than I wanted between the two parties.

As I mentioned elsewhere, this was sort of an experimental story to see what would happen if I dragged my Road Trip crew from Act 2 of MoM through Sunnydale. I assumed they would meet some Vampires, and proceed to lose their heads, or vice-versa, as the case turned out to be (The Vamps becoming the headless ones...)

If I decide to redo it as an entire story, I honestly will look at how I can change this part to make it flow better.

If you would be willing to be an Alpha Reader for such a potential change, drop me your Email Address (to DanaShort@aol.com be sure to mention FCAN in the subject, or I may never see it!) and I'll let you know if I sit down to redo this, and send you the preliminary draft to see if it reads better. (Be warned though, I tend to ignore many comments from my Alpha and Beta readers. I more tend to listen to them, consider their points, then do something totally different from what any of them say. However, when they all agree that something MUST be changed, I will change it. If I can.)

Thanks for commenting that you didn't like it, and why. If nothing else, it may help me write something better next time around.

Dana...
Review By [MarcusRowland] • Date [7 May 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now" from ranlynn
Review:
'Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse'??? Well...you get kudos for the title at least. :)

Serioiusly though, this is an interesting start. And it has my favorite ROG (really old guy) as well. Can't wait to see more.
Comments from author:
Assuming I ever get around to the Sequel, you might like it's title a bit more... "Apocolypse, How?" As to a timetable of when I may write it, I dunno. I was toying with having my chars from MoM swing through Sunnydale on their way to LA. But I am still not sure if it would strengthen, or weaken that story. So, since I am stuck in a Casino in Chapter 23/24, I wrote this story to see what would happen. It is from Buffy's POV, and has as different of a flavor style wise as I can accomplish, but is more of a pilot to see if I want to try this from the other point of view (that of the folks in the RV) or just write it off as a parallel or unrealized potential universe. The "Dog" would understand what I mean.

I hate to disappoint you, but the ROG won't be in any follow-up of this story directly, he has kind of rolled on... That is part of what I was thinking of in this story, the question of "What if the Apocalyptic Big Bad didn't stick around for Buffy to thwart his plans, but headed on out of town to work his evilness elsewhere. What could Buffy do?" Of course, casting Methos as a mistakenly identified Big Bad was part of the attraction as well. Then, there is the reactions of Anya & Spike when they hear his name, let alone what Giles & Willow might come up with from a bit of Research... All right, yet all wrong. Perhaps I will write it after all. But first, I think I need to finish MoM, which still has about 50,000 words to go. (So at least another month or two. Sorry.) Of course, all things are subject to change. Especially when the story is entirely unwritten. So any spoilers I have inadvertently dropped, may not be valid. Probably won't be, if I go ahead with this. We'll see. Perhaps a plot involving a Nazi Mad Scientist, and a Mystical Co... nah, I'm already working on that one, and hate repeating myself.

Thanks for the comment.

Dana...

P.S. If you choose to read MoM, it has quite a bit of your favorite ROG - I don't know that I do him justice, but I would appreciate any criticism so I can improve next time around. (I.E. Don't expect me to rewrite what is practically turning into a novel even if the entire world says "He'd never do THAT". But if I ever write of him again, I do try to learn from my mistakes.) He plays one of the critical supporting roles in the story.
Review By [ranlynn] • Date [7 May 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Four Coachmen of the Apocalypse, Now" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I liked this but thought you should have let Buffy do something. While I am curious about the story about the Dog, I would think Methos would be a little more careful about his name. Oh well.
Comments from author:
Dana here -

I agree Methos would, in all likelihood be quite careful about his name getting out. However, he was not planning on the Vampire wandering off to tell tales. He had no clue about the watching Slayer.

As far as the Dog is concerned, he, like everyone in the RV comes from my other story, only he still comes from it's future (as of 5-8-04) since he has barely made an appearance by Chapter 22. But is critical to Act 3 of MoM. (The other story, available on FanFiction.net)

Thanks for commenting.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [7 May 04] • Rating [6 out of 10]
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