Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from Amberdrake
This is awesomely awesome. I can't believe it took me this long to find it.
Review By [Amberdrake
] • Date [2 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from nerfherder
OK, gotta say you write disturbingly like LKH. Right on down to the angst. Whelp, she is my personal hidden addiction so I can cast no stones from my sugarglass home. How bout an update?
Review By [nerfherder
] • Date [29 Jan 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Revenge (Part 5)" from breve
i guess it's a sign of how good a writer you are that i hate your anita about as much as i hate the original :)
Review By [breve
] • Date [26 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Clubbing" from breve
i'm a bit of a richard fan. the idea of what i wanted richard to be and not how he's actually portrayed in the books. and to see him with willow? WIN.
really enjoying this so far. i'm hopeful that there won't be too much "woe is me, i hate myself" richard, and i'm pretty confident that's what i'm going to get here.
Review By [breve
] • Date [26 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from stahchild
Man this was a great read! Just when I think Willow and Xander finally had a handle on everything, something else goes wrong. Anita's a b!tch and JC makes me very angry -- what would I have to bribe you with so that you can bring over Buffy to beat some sense into them?
Review By [stahchild
] • Date [12 Jun 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from mountainelements
This story is pretty interesting so far, but I'm not sure where you're going with it. Are Willow and Xander ever going to get a break? I hope you update soon. I unfortunately have a bit of a short memory so I'm afraid I'll forget what happened in this story by the time you next update.
Review By [mountainelements
] • Date [11 Mar 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from Ailsam
Have just reread this and thoroughly enjoyed it again! Please update this so I can know what is going to happen to poor Willow and Xander!!!! PLEASEEEEEE!!!
Review By [Ailsam
] • Date [6 Feb 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Hold On" from PKiller
This story began and made it most of the way through with great promise, but sadly it has succumbed to one of the most common and largest mistakes an author makes when transversing the tricky ground of the ordeal and climax of a piece. It has slipped from drama to melodrama. In the increase of emotional tension the source and reasons behind it, as well as characterization, has become forced and stilted in order to produce more tension.
I understand as well as you do that increasing tension increases the impact of the climax, but caution must be taken, as the higher tension is ratcheted, both internal and external, the greater the strain on the author's abilities to succeed without succumbing to it. To put simply, the urge for tension sidestepped rationality (not to imply that characters should behave rationally, but rather suspension of disbelief has come under strain.)
Remember that in order to support SoD, the tension level can never surpass the author's skill to support it. You're a rather fine author, but in this case you've been outstripped by the tension level you're trying to project and it came off as unnatural. While it's to be expected in fanfiction, and has occurred one or two times earlier in the piece, the rest of the work as a whole is done a disservice by it. It either needs reworking in editing to develop the composition to make SoD easier even under the high tension level, or the tension level should be decreased slightly to prevent melodrama from setting in.
Don't worry, it won't chase off all readers, likely only a handful, given fanfiction's lower expectations. You're not even alone in the difficulty as it's one of the mistakes Hamilton makes as well, but it's also why her readership has plummeted over the course of the past couple of books.
In hopes my honest critique has helped,
Comments from author:
First of all let me say that I am truly grateful for your review. It's very rare to get constructive and thoughtful feedback these type of stories. It is far too common to get the one liner review that lack any real thought and is only through feedback like this that I can grow as a writer. I personally don't mind if I get bad review as long as they are constructive ones. So once again thank you.
With that said, you're are absolutely right. As an amateur writer I found it very difficult to write action scenes and climaxes. The pacing changes and I find myself failing to balance between characterization and tension. During the majority of the story the pacing is slow and I have time to develop the characters and the plot through dialogue, long monologues and depositions. But during the climax my sentence structure become shorter and my descriptions become concise so that it doesn't bog down the action and slow down the pacing. In result the dialogue become stilted and the characters become a mere characters of themselves. The problem only gets worst as the story progresses until it feels unnatural. I haven't quite figured out the problem and any suggestions would be appreciated.
Review By [PKiller
] • Date [29 Nov 10] • Rating [3 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from Ansku
Comments from author:
Review By [Ansku
] • Date [21 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from Bunney
i love this story an dammit! So please add more to it :)
Later and Love
Review By [Bunney
] • Date [10 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from bliss
Fabulous! Absolutely fabulous!! I hope you finish it soon.
Review By [bliss
] • Date [2 Nov 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from DarkFaerieYumi
OMG!! These people are crazy! I mean really?! Hellmouth children are dangerous and given they don't know that but still! They are HELLMOUTH babies. LOL Didn't the whole power thing they revealed show them that? They really don't know jack. Poor poor vampires. They are gonna suffer so much.
Review By [DarkFaerieYumi
] • Date [26 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from mithrilandtj
So Damien is gonna do the ritual behind JC's back?
That's gonna set off some fireworks.
Review By [mithrilandtj
] • Date [19 Oct 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from XanderLuvsAll
Enjoy the story. Hope you'll update it more frequently
Review By [XanderLuvsAll
] • Date [19 Oct 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Deal with the Devil (Part 4)" from AzrielSunHawk
OH!! you are truly wicked!! that was fabulous!! normally i can usually predict what road a story will take, not with this one though!! GOOD JOB!! hmm oh um...any chance of posting more soon? please? *begging, groveling* pretty please?
Review By [AzrielSunHawk
] • Date [19 Oct 10] • Not Rated