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Grave Thoughts

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Review of chapter "Grave Thoughts" from Lisa
I do like the premise of Illyria making it out alive from Ats S5 finale and helping Jean. Think it'd be interesting and interesting once the others found out.

Just a little concrit, watch for Fred's voice. Even though Illyria is letting Fred out and could switch back Fred still needs to be well... Fred. If Logan did his Logan-y thing on her, she'd be stuttering and stumbling over words trying to explain that she wasn't trouble or a mutant with vengeance. She wouldn't act so emotionless. Fred's stutter and petite frame and southern drawl is what unguards people, that itself is a weapon and Illyria (though she would view it as a weakness) would know the affect it had on humans and use that to her advantage ensuring that Logan didn't think anything of the brunette and that she'd freely be able to pass the note to Xavier.

I like the scene of the two woman watching the men. Illyria thinking it's silly and her dialogue were very well written. Cold and cruel without even her meaning it to be. When she speaks it's always so clipped and cold, you did a really fantastic job with that.
Review By [Lisa] • Date [16 Jan 09] • Not Rated
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