Very interesting -- I just hope you plan to continue this -- I swear I am going to quit reading incomplete stories -- I just get interested when the writer quits.
I love that you have set up that everyone is at least getting along in the Buffy-verse, I would love to see a bit more of Xander -- he seems very one dimensional so far. Love that you brought in Riley & Sam -- very intriguing that Sam likes Buffy. Love the chance to get a deeper look at Spike, obviously Selmak and then Jacob are really going to get to know him.
Love the idea that Jack and Sam might actually admit their feelings. Hope Daniel and Teal'c will have more to come.
Please write more!!!
Review By [AXanFan] • Date [14 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Firstly, awesome idea for a story, and it seemed to start out really well. However I have to agree with DeeRose's review. My interest waned about halfway in. Most of the characters seem OOC to me. As DeeRose has mentioned, there is no way that both 'teams' so to speak would share so much information so quickly. Each group has too much at stake to just be blurting things out so easily. Also, I feel there's too much dialogue in this. As a reader, I like to be shown what's happening through descriptions of the scene, facial expressions, and the like. Show me what's happening, how they're feeling, their reactions, don't just tell me. At the moment its very Buffy said this, Willow said that, Giles said this, scene change, more talking etc. You get the gist :).
I really really hope you take this review in the spirit it was intended. Your story is not rubbish by any means, as I said previously, you have a fantastic idea here and I though the first chapters were pretty good. It just needs some polishing. Good luck with it.
I'm sorry, but I am going to have to stop reading this fic in chapter 7. While you have an interesting premise and you've made a good start of it, the dialogue is painful. First, there is no way in heaven or hell that so many secrets would be shared so quickly. Sam would never give away so much about the Slayers or the Scoobies. While Buffy may give bare bones about Willow, she would never give that much information, that quickly. The Scoobies have a healthy distrust of the military, and while they may agree to work with SG1, they would not trust them with so much information so soon. Next, Teal'c never uses contractions, nor does he talk alot. You have him using way to many words where a few would suffice to get the meaning across. Remember while Teal'c doesn't have a ton of expressions, he will often use a raised eyebrow to convey and idea so he does not have to talk at all. Also, all the scoobies all have their own unique 'voices'. The speech pattern for each is different and distinct. I'm sorry if this review sounds negative. I think you have some great ideas, but need some fine tuning. Also, try to get a beta who is well versed in each univers, the Tea'c/contractions thing should have been picked up right away. Good luck with your work.
just found your story and i'm glad(as long is not spuffy) and liking the story so far. will the ai team join them, i know that angel is missing and so is cordy but i know that angel will be back soon or now in the actual time. it will be an interesting reunion. please update soon and happy writing
More review-y-ness from me. Are you heading in a Willow/Daniel direction here? I hope so. Thanks to Laney, it's one of my favourite pairings. I also love what Giles says about Willow: "It's the soul that counts". That's so beautiful and so true.
This is such a great fic! I can't believe I've only just discovered it. Riley and Sam's relationship is getting Jack and Sam thinking. I hope they get to be together, even if it's just for a little while. The best part of this fic is your characterisation of Sam Finn, it reminds me of Willow wanting to hate her but not being able to because she's just so cool. You haven't mentioned Riley's scar yet (but I'm imagining it anyway). I look forward to reading more (I've got a lot to catch up on) and especially seeing how the Scoobs interact with SG1.
