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Pack

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Review of chapter "Darla" from spring
Review:
Okay.... this is weird. Wonderful but weird. I hope that you are able to update this wonderful fic again sometime soon
Review By [spring] • Date [4 Sep 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Darla" from NoturHero
Review:
I'm intrigued so far. I'm trying to come up with something original so that I could write a BTVS/HP crossover, yet you managed to do that. From personal experience, that could not have been easy.
Review By [NoturHero] • Date [22 Mar 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Pack" from redwulfy
Review:
Interesting. was confused for a bit then i reread the your notes (*grins sheepishly* so I'm guilty of just skimming a/n's) which cleared everything up.
Comments from author:
:rolls eyes: I warned ya! :grins: Yeah...I need to redo/finish it...I have all the stories written (Pack and it's three sequels) but...eh...Whatever. I wrote it, like, four years ago...
Review By [redwulfy] • Date [30 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Darla" from Lin
Review:
I like the idea..honestly i do...its just the way you have written it makes it difficult/boring/confusing to read...i stopped before even getting to the third chapter.
Review By [Lin] • Date [6 Jun 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Darla" from malaskor
Review:
Not bad, just try to reduce those author's notes / explanations that you add in brackets to the story more often than not. That destroys the flow of the story imho. Try to find a way to explain what is happening through the story - be that more descriptions of what is happening or more dialogue / thoughts.

Keep on writing.
Review By [malaskor] • Date [9 Oct 04] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Darla" from (Site Founder)Jinni
Review:
Please fix the grammar/spelling in both your summary and your first chapter. The word you're looking for in the summary is "believe", not "belief"... as far as chapter one goes - misspelling the names of main characters and/or places is grounds for having the fic removed if done too often - and it was far too often in that chapter.
Review By [(Site Founder)Jinni] • Date [8 Oct 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Quick explanation" from Cutiepie
Review:
OK. I mostly followed what you are trying to say, but must admit that it is frustrating to try and figure out what is going on. It seems to jump about an awful lot, and you need to spellcheck a few things. Griffindor for instance. While it is unique to tell the entire story just by dialogue, a few descriptions of what is happening would help your readers immensely. I understand how hard it can be to get across your ideas, since everything seems to make perfect sense in the mind of the author, not realizing that key points have been accidentally skipped over in the explanation. =]

One question that I have: If Buffy and Dawn's father is Hank Longbottom, how do you figure that they are half-muggle? The Longbottoms are a wizarding family, as are the Malfoys. That would actually make them pure-blood. And, unless I misunderstood completely, Joyce met Hank at Hogwarts, so it isn't that he was a squib, and neither are the girls.

The other question: Did Severus join Voldemort and take the Dark Mark as a spy from the beginning in your universe? I just can't see him joining in earnest when his best friend would rather leave the country than be forced to join. It's not like he had that many friends to begin with, you know.
Review By [Cutiepie] • Date [5 Oct 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Pack" from CPTSkip
Review:
OK, I am totally confused. But I am willing to read more of your story so I can figure out what is going on. I think your concept is interesting and I really do want to read more of your story. I also like the way your story is being told only in dialog and I look forward to seeing how your story turns out.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [25 Sep 04] • Not Rated
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