Review of chapter "Chakra" from Stationary
I like the idea but there are a lot of plot holes and bad grammar and weak narrative. nowhere is it explained why there is a country in within another country, why it has or is allowed its own private army, or how it interacts with the outside world. your descriptions about the setting, the people, and the dialogue is lacking. You need to elaborate more, be more clear with what you say, and explain the character's actions and thoughts better.
Review By [Stationary
] • Date [5 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chakra" from Kirallie
Is this being continued? Who's the dad? Kinda hoping for Kakashi, that would be very amusing. Slayer versus ninja? How would that go?
Review By [Kirallie
] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chakra" from Weaver
In case anyone is interested, chapter 3 (and the identity of the father) can be found at ff.net.
Review By [Weaver
] • Date [18 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chakra" from Nightscream
Oh! Please tell me you haven't abandoned this story, I really....really would love to know who the father is. The possiblities are endless.
Review By [Nightscream
] • Date [11 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chakra" from Bobboky
Review By [Bobboky
] • Date [9 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chakra" from HolyKnight
hmm...she banged the Fox, no? The energies of the Kyuubi on Naruto would make him a Slayer Magnet.....
Review By [HolyKnight
] • Date [4 May 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chakra" from Valkyrie
I've only just gotten into Naruto, but what I've seen leads me to believe that even a genin could kick the crap outta a slayer. Hope to read more of this, see where it's going.
Review By [Valkyrie
] • Date [28 Feb 06] • Not Rated