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Laughing at Second Chances

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Review of chapter "Final Chapter" from MaxPayne
Review:
“I hope we find something on this woman, Will. She is dangerous.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. She asked Xander out for a date. She is very dangerous.”

Best lines in the fic...
Review By [MaxPayne] • Date [22 Jan 14] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Final Chapter" from Vassago
Review:
Much of the dialogue in these last chapters seems incredibly forced and awkward.
Review By [Vassago] • Date [13 Apr 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Final Chapter" from purrfus
Review:
And its a happy ending. This is a good thing.

Overall there are some good ideas and great bits throughout but the story does have pacing, flow, and some continuity issues.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from purrfus
Review:
This chapter really helps tie somethings together.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from purrfus
Review:
Okay - laughed myself silly over the scene with Supes.

That said, even claiming some side-effect of the Sunnydale Syndrome, its stretching fan fic sensibilities past the limit to think Clark would just go touring around town with a villainess after his secret identity was revealed.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from purrfus
Review:
Great scene with Whistler and Batman.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from purrfus
Review:
When you get a minute, you might want to do a read through for continuity. Sometimes when chapters are posted as they are written, details can be added that don't flow with previous installments.

Example : Ch 6 Xanders last line about HQ trying to seduce him, really doesn't work well with ch 5's last couple of paragraphs. While it is possible to assume Xander believes she is trying to get him to jump into a physical relationship sooner than he intends, the wording isn't working right for that.

HQ teasing Buffy about Xander's tongue, and stunned Buffy leaving quietly after being ripped one are fun to read and work well.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from purrfus
Review:
The Anya bits in 2 & 3 were lots of fun. She would have really hated ending that way.

Nice to see Xander has some idea of how to get ready for a date considering his experience thus far.

Xander spends time and energy finding $500. Since he doesn't go shopping for a new outfit, the assumption would be he intends to treat his date to, at the very least, a nice dinner. For either participant on a first date (no knowledge of each others taste, boundaries, likes, dislikes) to order without asking the other party, and 1 entree to share is insult to injury. From a male to a female character this is especially damaging given society's behavior expectations. There is unfortunately only so much that can be blamed on Xander's relative youth and upbringing.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Laughing at Second Chances" from purrfus
Review:
Found this story because the 5th installment in the series came up on the screen. If you hadn't written a new installment I would never have read this story. I have been so disappointed in the last decade or so of the comics that I don't go looking for the fan fic.

That said, after the first chapter I am sufficiently intrigued by the set up of HQ and this crossover to continue reading. Good work with the lure.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Final Chapter" from Bobboky
Review:
coolness
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [30 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Final Chapter" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Very unexpected plotting... nicely carried out. I enjoyed the characterization in this story. Thanks for sharing.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [23 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Final Chapter" from Elleria
Review:
This is pretty good..the ending is a little abrupt...but I liked it.
Review By [Elleria] • Date [18 Mar 05] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Elleria
Review:
Lovely story so far, and it was very nice that every time I finished a chapter a got and email that said there was a new one...so I'm now anxiously waiting for the next chapter...lol.
Review By [Elleria] • Date [18 Mar 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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