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Dawn of the Phoenix

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Review of chapter "Epilogue: Secrets Revealed" from Dapsy
Hello there....

cool story, and unique in a number of way... once I started reading I had no choice but to finish reading out one sitting... :D
Review By [Dapsy] • Date [7 Feb 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Secrets Revealed" from Dragonelf
You have done a great job on this story.

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
- Kilgore Trout
Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [23 Aug 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Secrets Revealed" from BillieBog
Great story and I hope to see the sequel.
Review By [BillieBog] • Date [15 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Secrets Revealed" from purrfus
For years I have dreamed of someone killing or beating Hank Summers within an inch of his life - thanks for taking care of that little chore. The Facility takeover and renovation was great. Andrew Kirk and Harvey are a little to the left of strange.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [5 Dec 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Secrets Revealed" from YellowRoses
This was an awsome story, i loved it, you should keep working on the sequel.
Comments from author:
Holy crap! People are still reading this one?!

Seriously, thanks for the review. And take heart- I'm in the middle of writing the first completely new chapter to the sequel that I have written in nearly a year and a half. Comming soon!


I'm serious this time!
Review By [YellowRoses] • Date [10 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Secrets Revealed" from Bobboky
Comments from author:
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [29 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Local 666" from (Past Donor)Deanie
Very interesting... I like this Andrew Kirk guy... However, one big spelling mistake -- there is no "h" in Wyndam-Price. Sorry, but it really bugs me when authors spell the characters' names wrong.
Review By [(Past Donor)Deanie] • Date [22 Mar 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Secrets Revealed" from Ezmerelda
Wonderful story! Your original characters were believable and likeable, I found Andrew Kirk to be particularly entertaining, he's almost an anti-hero.

Can't wait to read more in the Light Brigade, thanks for writing (and for the reading recommendations)! ~"~
Review By [Ezmerelda] • Date [7 Jul 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Dreamscape" from cwolf
*snort* you came up with a character that made it's appearance in Harry Potter... coincidences? I came up with a vampire (that had a heartbeat) that could walk in daylight 5 years before I heard about the existence of Blade. *grin*
Comments from author:
Don't you hate it when that happens? But I just found it extremley funny to read one of the new Gryffindor beaters was Andrew Kirke- When I've had an Andrew Kirk in existence since about 1997. Ah, well... thanks for the comment!
Review By [cwolf] • Date [1 Jul 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Assault on (Slayer) Precinct 13 Part 2" from SamDragon
More wanted.Good chapter as usual.
Comments from author:
Thanks. LAst chapter should be out shortly.
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [13 Jun 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Assault on (Slayer) Precinct 13" from SamDragon
Comments from author:
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [23 May 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Recovery" from Laurea
I really like the plot you've got so far, and I like the original characters more than I expected to. Kirk seems like a pretty cool character - the "I have magic but I hate it" dynamic without the "I can never use my magic or I will betray my morals" whininess. Nice. Dawn's brainwashing has been interesting to follow. Are there going to be any repercussions because of that switch from drugs to magic? It sounds like a plotpoint just waiting to happen.

I have to say, I'm a little confused on the backstory for your OCs, though. When you told their story, it was really hard to read, if only because it was in huge blocks of text. It's easier to get across a lot of information if you don't do it all at once. Also, just out of my own curiosity, why are they called the Horsemen? I was expecting something along the lines of characters representing death, war, famine, and pestilence. Is it not a reference to those Horsemen after all? Also, I hate to say it, but you've got a bunch of typos throughout the story. Reading through a couple times before posting (or better yet, getting a beta reader) should clean that up, though.

I really like this fic. It's an interesting premise, and the original material feels developed enough to be more or less a third canon. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Comments from author:
The sequel does have a beta. I try to catch all of the typos, but I still miss a few now and then. As for the switch to drugs and magic- well, there will be a few repurcusions.
As for the Horsemen, I got four names for you- Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson, and Ric Flair- The Four Horsemen.

You're reading a fanfic from a wrestling fan- what did you expect?

Glad you like the OC's. I promise that their stories will be more fleshed out in the next story.
Review By [Laurea] • Date [3 May 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Recovery" from Mira
I really like this story, rally I do. Hank is an unspeakable little bitch. Darnit... Hope to see the next exciting chapter soon please!
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review. Hope you like what happened to Hank in the end!
Review By [Mira] • Date [1 May 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Of Swords and Schoolgirls" from raven
Interesting new chapter. RE: the records: no-they would not be availiable. Even if a suspect turned 18 yesterday and was arrested today, he/she would start with a blank slate. Even DA's can't get ahold of that information without persuading a judge of it's applicability (basically I would bet on a snowball in hell first). You also have the added problems that the records would have been destroyed when Sunnydale was destroyed. While they may be able to find medical records (since billing would be logged onto insurance mainframes offsite) and the fact that Buffy left her school in LA (they would have to supoena the records to find she was expelled-or find a chatty person who was around back then) but almost everything else would have been lost. Sunnydale in season 7 was large enough for a family services office in the town-therefore they would have had a local courthouse and judges, clerk of records, etc. Those would all be handled locally and the records would all be stored locally. While larger matters may be referred to the CA State Attorney's office or to the County Prosecutor (assuming the county government wasn't headquartered in Sunnydale) you could find those records. But without the matter even being submitted for charges Buffy's burglary/murder/etc. and Dawn's shoplifting (which wasn't even picked up by the police) history would not be avaliable. And without the town to physically go check the records, there is no way of getting it now. They may be good-but even a brilliant computer guy can't salvage info from a computer that was destroyed by a magical crater.

And the Initiative? Got most of their info on the Scoobies from Sunnydale High. Adam in particular was shown as liking to hack into local databases like the school, police station, and CCTV's around the town.

Basically, I can see them finding Buffy's file and the fact that she was a Counselor (from the IRS-it would be on her tax return and W-2). Possibly finding out she was expelled from her LA school. Joyce's will would be registered with the state, home owner's insurance and life insurance policy would be mentioned (the co. would have the records outside of Sunnydale) upon her death. That would ID next of kin, inheritors, etc. It would also severly hurt Hank's ability to get Dawn through legal, non-bribery related means. Otheriwise, you cannot use the other points within this AU. Sure she's young and was expelled. But Hank lives in another state, didn't provide for his daughter's, and hasn't seen either or contacted them in years. Despite everyone's attempts for them to contact him, Hank was a no show. If my math is right, abandonment can be claimed after 7 years. And it has been more than that. So...Hank must be in on it and you have a few legal/logical loopholes that need some cleaning when you get the chance.
Comments from author:
I really didn't know all of that, but it's intersting to find out. For this story, however, you have to have a little suspension of disbelief. It is, afterall, based in a world where a girl kills vampires;)
Review By [raven] • Date [10 Apr 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Dawn of the Phoenix" from Gaeriel
I really like this world you've created. The plot is intriguing as are your original characters. My one minor quibble is that I think you cleaned up the Joss-verse a little too neatly after the Angel season finale. However, very minor complaint that I can overlook. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comments from author:
I know I really cleaned up Angel, but for me it couldn't be helped. Wesley became my favorite character during season 5, and I can do more with him than I could with Giles in that role. Glad you are enjoying it, though.
Review By [Gaeriel] • Date [9 Apr 05] • Not Rated
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