Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from deamon
Plz I am begging for an update soon. This is one of my fav xander/marie pairings.
Review By [deamon
] • Date [1 Sep 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from Markelo
OKay. I think this story's Xander is so cool!
Review By [Markelo
] • Date [21 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from firedrakegirl
Why haven't you updated this?? It's soo good!!
Review By [firedrakegirl
] • Date [28 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from AXanFan
First I like the idea of this story -- I have always liked x-overs of BtVS and X-men. I saw a few other reviews mention some errors so I thought I would point out a few easy fixes.
When Xander first arrived at the Mansion in the description of Marie it says "all in back" -- I assume it should be "black". Then "Except for her face, none of her face was exposed." Instead of "exposed" should it have be "covered".
During the danger room simulation there were a few misspelled words . . . "strait" should be "straight"; "disgrading" should be "disregarding"; "sleave" should be "sleeve".
I finally noticed that some of the spelling actually indicated that you probably aren't American since you spell a lot of words differently than I would.
First of all I really do like your story -- I read another review that mentioned that some of the story needed to be more "fleshed out". I do agree that some parts seemed rushed or brushed over.
While it seemed inevitable that Xander and Marie would get together I don't believe it is at all reasonable for them to be running around holding hands and hugging in the first twenty-four hours. Xander's sense of a potential mate amounts to a really strong sense of lust at first sight with a chance for more. After all of Xander's losses he would not rush into being close to anyone. You should probably give them a little time to adjust to their attractions and feelings.
Also the big emergency run to collect two mutants was over in a few paragraphs. It just seemed to be either an unnecessary part of the story or way too short.
Sorry for being critical -- I just thought it might give you some things to think about -- I really respect people who can write. The problems I see in your story are really quite minor -- you have a talent that can only get better with time and practice. Good Luck and please keep writing.
Review By [AXanFan
] • Date [22 Jan 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from dogbertcarroll
Needs some work. You skipped over most of the character building parts and sketched rough outlines where you should have colored them in.
Details and a slow build up to increase tension before a climax lets the reader get a feel for the characters and an interest in what's going on.
Review By [dogbertcarroll
] • Date [13 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from Dragonelf
I hope you get inspired to continue the story.
Review By [Dragonelf
] • Date [24 Oct 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from junnights
... Promising... I think... (I usually prefer slash... or well written het). Haven't bothered to read the whole thing yet, please fix the error "dam!" that you use instead of "damn" as it should be.... its just a little bit off when you read it. Please do continue to write though:) and I'll see if I find this story again at another time:)
Review By [junnights
] • Date [27 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from Bluesnowman
Great story you should continue it.
Review By [Bluesnowman
] • Date [27 Dec 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from Tjin
Very nice, will this ever be continued?
Review By [Tjin
] • Date [23 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from Blackguard
this is a freaking great fic so far, please update it again
Review By [Blackguard
] • Date [26 May 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from AonGealach
I absolutely LOVED this story! I hope you decide to update it eventually because it could turn out to be one of the best I have ever read!
Review By [AonGealach
] • Date [28 Feb 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from Dreamweaver
Neat story. Just left curious/wondering about one or two things. Pretty sure Xander was straight out with Marie about his past activities, but just how much of it did he go into it with the rest of the X-Men & the Prof (seeing that he'd had them scanning for message transmissions out of Sunnyhell by the Slayer and/or Watcher)?
How many people/Who actually gets to see Xander's private practicing rounds in the Danger Room? (Btw, I'd love to see a scene or two showing Xander in a team practice session.)
Considering just how many bright and curious kids there are at the school, has any of them ever come up with the "bright" idea of breaking into and trying to use one of the X-men's or Xander's private battle sequence programs? (I have read X-men comics in the past and am aware that some of the older members (particularly those that have had a wider range of really violent fighting experience like Logan or Gambit) sometimes set up special Danger Room programs for their own use that are usually locked under some kind of password/key/code.)
Review By [Dreamweaver
] • Date [26 Jun 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from LadyCarpathian
When is the next peice coming??????
Review By [LadyCarpathian
] • Date [1 Sep 04] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Rogue's Hunter" from LXFin
Ok Ok first of I love this story I've read this story heaps of times I just love it But..................
"you live in that nightmere? I belive you now" (or whatever) Is so lame see you soon
Review By [LXFin
] • Date [22 May 04] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Back on the Hellmouth/Another Slayer" from Alltorian
I like you fic. Please keep writing.
Review By [Alltorian
] • Date [7 Apr 04] • Not Rated