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Meeting the family

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Review of chapter "Nine" from MMWillow
Review:
this is a hoot!!!
Review By [MMWillow] • Date [17 Aug 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Nine" from FireWolfe
Review:
Love to see more
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [23 Mar 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Nine" from FireWolfe
Review:
Love to see more
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [23 Mar 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Nine" from spring
Review:
I love this fic so far please please please update this fic again soon! again I love this fic!
Review By [spring] • Date [16 Oct 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Nine" from AriaDragoncrest
Review:
Excellent
Review By [AriaDragoncrest] • Date [10 Jul 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Nine" from Dreamweaver
Review:
Oh, my. Oh, dear. Harry taking Xander as an example of how to dress? Oh, dear.

(...of exasperation here)
Review By [Dreamweaver] • Date [10 Jul 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Nine" from Cutiepie
Review:
Um, I am having a problem with this. You seem to have confused Harry with Ron Weasley. Harry was raised completely Muggle for the first 11 years of his life, and is much more familiar with the Muggle world than the Wizarding one, despite all that he is learning. Ron was the one raised in the Wizarding world, and while his father is nuts over Muggle things, they are rather uninformed as to the reality of the Muggle world.

Ron might be impressed or excited about having a "Muggle" job, but not Harry so much. I could buy him deciding to take the job because of getting to learn some Wiccan spells and potions (perhaps to show off to Snape later?). And his excuse about studying over the summer break? Have you ever met a real 15-year old boy? (I'm being sarcastic there. That excuse would be as transparent as window glass!)

Harry has been cooking totally Muggle-style for his aunt, uncle and cousin for many years, so wouldn't think anything of it. I can't imagine him leaving out the milk just to make his godfather have to clean up after him. He would want to stay on Sirius' good side, so that he doesn't have to return to the Dursley's. Yes, he might want to act out, but that felt VERY out of character for him. Eating all the snack cakes would work, only perhaps he was using food for comfort, not paying much attention as he ate, and discovered that they were all gone without realizing that he had eaten so many. Harry just isn't mean-spirited.

The day spent out playing with the neighborhood kids also didn't ring true. Baseball is much more popular in America than in England, but it isn't unknown. Do you know any 11 year old who wouldn't know about baseball, or who would have to search their memory to remember what it is called? It's not like it is lacrosse or some other more obscure sport. Maybe he would not know all the rules and such, but he'd have a general idea how it is played. Harry isn't stupid, and would have figured out what the outfielders did (if he didn't already know) while he was up at bat, so the only believable way that I can think of him getting hit in the face with the ball is either he got distracted by something, he "lost it in the sun" when he was trying to catch it, or he just isn't very coordinated. Considering that he is a chaser for the Griffendor Quidditch team, that last one is unlikely, but is still possible.

A handshake in greeting is pretty much universally known in the Western World (Europe and America). I doubt that even Ron would be confused by it, much less Harry. Now, if the other kid had put up his hand, expecting to get "five", that might confuse Harry. Or the fist thing, where one person thumps their fist on top of the other's, and then is thumped in return. That would be much more likely to lead to confusion.

Please don't take this review as a flame or anything like that. I am just trying to point out the things that didn't make sense or were out of character in my point of view. I hope that you keep writing, and always striving to improve your work. You are already ahead of the majority since you had the courage to post your work here.
Review By [Cutiepie] • Date [10 Jul 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Nine" from mithrilandtj
Review:
Oh Yeah

Xander... the Fashion Model of the business world

NOT!



ROFLMAO!!!
Review By [mithrilandtj] • Date [10 Jul 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Eight" from Lin
Review:
I think Harry's reaction is pretty in character to his age. Kind of insensitive of Sirius i think..her beiung there every day for both breakfast and dinner. I owuld like to see the kind of stuff eh gets into while working at the Magic Box.
Review By [Lin] • Date [26 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Eight" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Cool. And nice to see another part so soon.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Feb 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Seven" from halric
Review:
Good story, I really liked it. I like the way Harry tried to hate Willow but he can't manage it, because she is such a lovable person.

One point though just an observation. we have stir fry in the UK. It originated in China, and we use woks rather than frying pans. Secondly we also shake hands in the UK. the custom started as a way of showing that your right hand was empty when meeting an adversary.

Again they are just observations to help you not criticisms. I like the story.
Comments from author:
Oh, thank you for pointing that out, I guess I'm just gullible to all things being American, even though I really know its a big fat lie. Hmm...I'll see if I can do anything about changing that up a little...(ten minutes later) Done! Hope that is a little more accurate :-)
Review By [halric] • Date [4 Feb 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Seven" from Erica
Review:
I am so happy to see an update. I am really enjoying your story so far.
Comments from author:
Thanks!
Review By [Erica] • Date [3 Feb 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Six" from Dreamweaver
Review:
I wonder if Harry's actually noticed that the way he sees Willow is starting to gradually change from "intruder" to (while not family-close material yet) "some one who blushes really easy and might actually be nice".

I'm also wondering how many things/characters from the Btvs World is going to show up in this fic.
Review By [Dreamweaver] • Date [18 Aug 05] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Five" from Dreamweaver
Review:
I don't know what it is about this particular chapter, but........Harry's reaction is sooooo cute! A good-hearted, hard-working young person's reaction at getting their first job........

And, I can't wait to see Harry tackling his first day at work!
Review By [Dreamweaver] • Date [18 Aug 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Four" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Oh, yeah! What should be expected really when something as interesting as the history of magic is a metaphor for the most boring history classes in the world. History and lore can be exciting. Nice *push* at the HP world's world building without being too snarky about it.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [27 Apr 05] • Rating [7 out of 10]
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