Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Dark Heroes

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "One: To Those Who Ask It" from DragonBard
Review:
Willow "I can destroy the world" Rosenberg is having problems with keeping a boat afloat?

Please don't tell me you cut her power levels to keep things even.
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [13 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from Tellin
Review:
Wow! This is certainly a new and interesting take on the Scoobies' "real family theme." I really hope you take this story further.
Review By [Tellin] • Date [4 Feb 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from Cmiller
Review:
*pokes* hey Author are you ever going to add more to this story?
Review By [Cmiller] • Date [29 Sep 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from FireWolfe
Review:
I have to say this fic ir exellent. I think Angel should get his ass kicked for being such an ass to Cordy. I love the twists in the family tree. More soon I hope.

Lisa
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [15 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from PenNameUnknown
Review:
I have really enjoyed this so far. I look forward to reading more! Sorta read all the way to the most recent chapter in one sitting while doing my laundry. :)
Review By [PenNameUnknown] • Date [16 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from spygrrl
Review:
Just discoved this story and read it all the way though. I really like the concept and think this is a very cool crossover idea.

I do have several suggestions that I think would make it read even better.

- You want to be careful of your formatting. I found it really challenging to read the large paragraphs and your dialogue mixed with descriptive text. You want to make sure you separate each character's line of dialogue from another; they shouldn´t be in the same paragraph. Also, think about not putting as much discriptive text in combination with dialogue

- I'm still a bit confused about which HP characters are which BTVS characters' parents. I feel like you haven't spelled that out clearly and by thirteen chapters in that shouldn't be unclear (unless I missed something when reading)

- Consider smaller paragraphs. As I mentioned before it can be a challenge to read long paragraphs, especially when it is describing a lot of info or action. I personally found myself lost a couple times (but maybe that's just me).

- What is going on with all the slayers in the world? I think you mentioned something briefly about Cleveland, but this is a really important part of the BTVS story. Buffy and Co. can't just leave the slayers out there or let the newbie slayers from the battle with the First be in charge. Even if you don't incorporate them into your story (which is fine) you should offer a reasonable explanation for what is happening with the newly called slayers (Again, this is my opinion and if you had something significant about this and I missed it, I apologize).

- Overall I think your characterization of the characters from both worlds are done very well. You've also done a good job at incorporating the Scoobies's new powers and how each group is reacting to one another given this crazy situation. That said, I feel like Cordelia's characterization is very off. She comes off like she did in high school, when by middle of S2 of "Angel" she had changed significantly and was no longer the bitchy, spoiled popular girl she was in high school. Cordelia has matured greatly and I feel like that doesn`t always show in the story.

- Another minor thing about Cordelia - she wouldn`t know who Andrew is (I think you mentioned him in reference to Cleveland). The Scoobies never realized who he was at first in S6 - just as Tucker`s brother. Also, Cordelia seems to have knowledge of Sunnydale and the Angel group that occurred while she was in her coma. Did you mentioned something about her being given the knowledge while she was in a coma or her friends catching her up after she woke up? If I missed that, again sorry. If not, then you should definitely think about incorporating an explanation.

I know I made a lot of more critical comments than positive ones, but I really do like this story and think it could be even better. If I didn't like the story I wouldn't have bothered to comment. One thing that would help a great deal is to get a beta. Having a second set of eyes to read and comment on your work can make a world of difference.

I am looking forward to more!!
Review By [spygrrl] • Date [7 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from Eewec
Review:
Just read the story through from start to the end of chapter 12.

Dawn slapping Harry and her comment.. well I had to go back and check who it was that he'd been talking to and fallen asleep with. While it gives her backstory for knowing his side and that of the scoobies, I was and still am of the opinion that was a low blow and I personally think not even accurate, considering that he still has a dark lord messing with his head. Though neither of them know THAT right now, but even without that, I don't agree with her comment.

Considering she gave him as much backstory on the scoobies during their talk, I'd be amazed if the only problem they have is Draco after that little blow up. Post the scoobies and Hermione and Ginny leaving, you have just Harry and Ron in the house. Neither talking to the other, so they'll be angsting. All things considered, I'd be amazed if Harry, in his current mindset doesn't just turn round and say to hell with it all and refuses point blank to even listen. At this point I think the moment someone even brings up the subject he'd start humming loudly at the very least. Think stubborn teenager throwing an almighty sulk, but one that actually has a reason. Those are darn hard to break no matter what. Food won't be an issue for him, refusing to let him eat outside the kitchen and he'll go back to old skills to avoid that issue. Try bullying tactics aka Moody hexing him and he'll get even more stubborn and rely on skills picked up from his time with the Dursleys. In fact, with his background, at this point your screwed with Harry should he decide to let them sink, which after everything so far wouldn't be that far of a leap.

Something I was reminded of in an arguement recently: A person convinced against their will, is of their own opinion still. Harry is tenacious, stubborn as a brick and about as hard headed once he decides something.

In Canon he was furious with Ron and Hermione already, in this Ron is already showing his jealous streak and Hermione leaving... well that's not going to sit well considering who she left with (he'd just been slapped by one of 'them').

You have the makings of a really interesting Dark Harry story, I'm intrigued where you're taking it.

Course, I'm forgetting the whole "I'm the saviour, what the hell" attitude that may develope considering the scoobies are effectively waltzing in and taking over 'His' position. 'They' are a close nit family group, just like the Weasleys, obviously the Order is a group, Hermione has gone with the Scoobies, so he WILL feel isolated and alone.

I'm thinking either attempted actual suicide here (NOT a call for help version) or end of the world Willow impersonation type thing.... possibly backfiring badly 'cos of Ron's issues with Harry leading to even worse big badness Harry style.

EDIT: and lets not even go into the whole thing of hitting Harry... Dawn just put herself in the same group as Dudley and possibly Vernon.

2nd EDIT: Just had another thought, Dawn is the Key, the Key is the Wizards Happy Place, Dawn is probably not very receptive to Harry right now, so would that mean that Harry has no Happy Place either at the moment?
Review By [Eewec] • Date [7 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from liability
Review:
just sat and read the whole story so far, it is very good and look forward to more!
Review By [liability] • Date [6 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from IAMZIPPY
Review:
DIGGING THIS SO FAR BUT NEED TO KNOW WHO IS XANDER'S MOM
Review By [IAMZIPPY] • Date [6 Aug 09] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from vaguilera
Review:
well i just finished reading what you have so far and let me tell you it's great. the chapters are really well written and the story is flowing great. but thus far my favorite chapter is 'Pomfrey Cottage' that one brought me to tears. it was very moving and heartfelt. i miss Joyce. she was one of my favorite characters, i actually disliked her for a few eps in the end of season two and early season three, but she won her way in my heart and along with Buffy, Spike, Cordelia and Dawn she's my fifth most cherished character. thanks for giving her a bright lite. and for writting this story so wonderful.
Review By [vaguilera] • Date [6 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from dreameralways
Review:
This story is so terribly interesting. I look forward to future updates. I usually don't care for stories where people drag in more than one missing relative. I find it too coincidental, but you managed it very well.
Review By [dreameralways] • Date [5 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from eriktheviking
Review:
Great fun, thanks. Though, I did want to see Xander appearing from the shadows behind Snape to warn him against scaring Willow.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [5 Aug 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from djhardim
Review:
Very good. A few thoughts -

1. Angel probably needs a new wand since his turning. As far as the magical core is concerned how about hair from Slayers(Buffy and Faith)?

As for the wood used for the wand, the Celts assigned trees to different parts of the year. Since Hermione, for example, was born between September 2nd and September 29th, she received a wand made of vine wood.

In Angel's case, the correct wood would probably be based upon the date of his rebirth as a vampire.

http://www.jkrowling.com/textonly/en/extrastuff_view.cfm?id=18

2. How about a Veela for Xander's mother? It could explain a lot about his love life.

3. As i recall, Snape's father killed his mother.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [5 Aug 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "12: Grand-Ma-Ma Snape" from Cmiller
Review:
Hmmmm...Likin' it so far. Add more soon. Please.
Review By [Cmiller] • Date [5 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Eleven: Pomfrey Cottage" from Susangel
Review:
WOW!!!This is an amazing story, please tell me you didn't abandoned it...i was really enjoying it...
Review By [Susangel] • Date [10 Jul 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Page: 1 of 2 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking