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A Time to Live

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Review of chapter "Chapter 10" from Demonspawn
Review:
I was really enjoying this story, the author seems to capture the wackiness of things quite well.... until Dawn leaps into her father's arms sobbing "Daddy!" ??

Maybe his evil ex was intercepting letters from the girls for the entirety of their relationship, but that still means that Hank didn't ONCE in 2 years pick up his phone to call his children, let alone visit...

So unfortunately the bridge suspending my reality frayed and snapped.
Comments from author:
In the series Dawn was continually feeling that everyone did/would leave her so her jumping into her father's arms after hearing that Eve had been keeping him from his daughters does make sense when you read the last few lines that hint that he was under a spell - The Eve in the story is the one from the Angel series.

Dave
Review By [Demonspawn] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 10" from unicornzvi
Review:
This started as a very well written story and I liked the concept and characterization, however you're forcing the story to stick with the stations of canon too much.

I stopped reading when Lorelai offered to give her and Sookie's tickets to Rory's three friends. In canon they had Lane's ticket as well so it worked but here you already had Dawn using that ticket so they can't have all the girls go, this means offering would be rude and out of character.
Review By [unicornzvi] • Date [13 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from Zarohk
Review:
I can really see why Dawn would be nervous about the dance and not want to go, even if she could go with "Maddie". Honestly, looking at BtVS, don't you think that most of the characters would have developed at least a dislike of, if not outright phobia of, large public gatherings? The only event that didn't get ruined by some sort of supernatural attack was the Spring Fling (that Buffy was too busy dying to attend) and the Prom (which Buffy had to defend from hellhounds). Dawn's school events were probably not much better, and even knowing that this community is Protected, she will probably be pretty nervous during the dance, waiting for some supernatural disruption that will never come.
Review By [Zarohk] • Date [9 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Zarohk
Review:
Fun and interesting story so far. Great job on the biology with crows, and yeah, North American crows are strongly kleptomaniac. In Jean Craighead George's biography "The Tarantula in My Purse" she actually goes into a lot of detail about crows and their thieving habits (including one that stole coins, and, seeing what humans did, stored them in nest on the roof of a bank), and while the shiny paper idea might or might not work, coins definitely do.
Review By [Zarohk] • Date [9 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Time to Live 14/?" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Great story! Yet, is this tale at an end or not? If the story was left unfinished a year ago, then I would greatly appreciate it if the author could come back and write more!!
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review. No the story has not ended, I have just not had any enthusiasm to write anything recently.
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [22 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Time to Live 14/?" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
Simple plot, but interesting in its way.

The concept of Stars Hollow being on an ‘anti-Hellmouth’ was a particularly interesting idea- everything needs its ‘counterpart’, after all-, and the implications of Wolfram & Hart’s possible interest in Dawn DOES raise some interesting questions about their agenda...

Apart from the issue that it might have been more effective to include the scene where the gang arranged for Faith’s release- maybe they had the Council pull a few strings to ensure there was someone available to keep an eye on the Hellmouth?-, and my own personal feelings that Dawn ‘realised’ that she was at the very least bi a BIT too quickly, all in all, you’ve got some promising ideas here; keep up the good work!
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review.

I was not the first to use it, I read it in another story (here I think?) Making Stars Hollow an anti hellmouth led to the idea of W & H being interested in the Key! Which led to her father being kept away by them - although I did always intend to include him.

As I stated in the early parts, this story was supposed to be mostly GG with Dawn, Willow and Tara with just a odd piece of the others, so no part about Faith.

As I also stated, I do believe in love at first sight. It does not have anything to do with the sex of the individual in this case it just happens to be a girl - I did think of putting her with Tristam or Jesse but rejected both as I did not want Dawn in competition with Paris and or Rory plus I wanted to explore Madeline and Louise's relationship with each other as well as Paris and Rory.

Look for the next part sometime in the new year which centres around Xander and Anya's wedding as well as revealing the real reason why W & H stopped looking for Dawn?
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [18 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Time to Live 14/?" from CPTSkip
Review:
I was so glad to see an update as it made me reread your entire marvelous story. What can I say? This has to be one of my favorite Dawn stories ever written. I so hope Dawn gets her head out of her duffel bag and finally makes a move on Madeline. And soon. Lol! Thank you so much for continuing this wonderful story.
Comments from author:
Thanks. Yes they are drawing closer but most of the next one will centre around Xander and Anya's wedding.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [2 Jul 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Time to Live 14/?" from zigpal
Review:
Great update. Wow, that was a very informative and fun chapter to read. Plus, you set up the beginnings for the two main couples. I can't wait to see how Lane handles that her two friends are dating other girls.
Comments from author:
Thanks. It took longer than expected, the last stumbling block was the valleyball so from now on it may get mentioned but that is all.
Just one more part before something happens.
Review By [zigpal] • Date [27 Jun 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from (Past Donor)Razberry
Review:
I really enjoyed reading this story, too bad it hasn't been updated in so long. One thing that was disappointing was that with over 100,000 words, there were zero relationships developed into actual relationships (dawn/madeline for example). Apart from that, I thought the story was excellent and I look forward to reading more when you decide to update.
Comments from author:
Sorry for the delay in replying. Thanks for the review. I know it has been an age since this story has been up dated - I promise that I will get the next part out before the New Year. I know they have not got together yet, but think about the series and how long it took Lorelai and Luke to get together? If I can finish the parts they will be together in a couple of parts. So as I have said before, Watch This Space!
Review By [(Past Donor)Razberry] • Date [21 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Sigh. Over two years since the author last penned an update to this most excellent story!
Oh, that I would dearly like to see the story brought to a logical end, not the apparent cliffhanger type it now has.
Comments from author:
I know but now I have got over my writer's block and as long as my new beta works out the next four - yes four - parts should be posted this year.
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [27 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from SilverWave
Review:
Great story :)

Thanks
Comments from author:
Thanks. I hope I can get over my writers block soon so I can post more.
Review By [SilverWave] • Date [2 Jan 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from zigpal
Review:
great update. Boy, I would hate to be either the Watchers or Wolfram & Hart if they come to town looking for Dawn because I don't really want to know what kind of hellfire Willow, Tara, and Miss Patti can bring down of them.
Comments from author:
Thanks. We will have to see how things go.
Review By [zigpal] • Date [14 Mar 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from purrfus
Review:
I don't watch Gilmore Girls and know nothing about the characters, so reading this story was like learning about a lot of original characters.

The story style and flow change quite a bit between the first and last chapters, even so I was surprised to see you had started this 2 years ago. Thanks for keeping at it.

The Hank/Eve, and the sister parts are really interesting.
Comments from author:
I am surprised myself! I actually have the epilogue already written set around 2029 so maybe it might take me that long to finish it lol.

I wanted something better than Hank running away from his daughters with a younger woman! Bringing in Eve (from the last season of Angel) and the type of things Wolfram and Hart do, fits with the Buffyverse!

Blessings

Dave.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [12 Mar 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from CPTSkip
Review:
I so love it when you update your neat-o story and I can read about the Scoobies' adventures in SH. Some of the things you write just make me laugh out loud. One that made me stop reading for a moment so I could calm down was: "snapped Luke trying to get the image of the redhead staring at other women’s breasts out of his head." Lol! The whole bit with the pancakes and eggs just tickled me. I also like the bit about Slayers not having younger siblings. I just hope the whole cover-up thing doesn't come back and bite them in the buttocks some day. Now go out and write more! Please?
Comments from author:
Thanks. But you should also remember that not all the dialogue is mine (especially if it is between SH characters). Although the breast comment is mine.
Originally the comment about slayers not having younger siblings was a throwaway comment that has suddenly developed by itself!

Blessings

Dave.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [11 Mar 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from (Recent Donor)MissingAuthor
Review:
Very nice chapter... will be interesting to if if the Council tries anything.

Wispr
Comments from author:
Thanks. You never know maybe the Council will forget about her! lol.
Review By [(Recent Donor)MissingAuthor] • Date [11 Mar 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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