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Unforeseen Consequences: Revelations

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Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from TonyTheJew
Review:
I was just thinking how much does Dawn remember of the back round from her 'Dreams'? And if she was a preimmortal or anything like that in one of her 'Dreams' would it carry over like her scars do? Great story up-date soon.
Comments from author:
Hey, sorry for the late reply and thank you for your feedback.
The 'rules' for the dreams are pretty simple actually. While in a dream Dawn only knows the history of that universe and so has no knowledge of anything that goes on in the real world. When she wakes up though she knows what happened during the dream. Everything she sees, does and thinks about are things that she will remember. If something didn't come up during the dream however, she has no knowledge about it. This means that if in the dream she talks about something that happened when she was 5, she'll know it when she wakes up. However she wouldn't know if she was grounded by her mother the week before if it isn't mentioned in the dream.
Anything that happens to Dawn during her dreams is transferred to her real body. This would mean that if she were pre-Immortal that would happen, but that one is rather unlikely as it would mean Dawn isn't the same person as she is in the real world. Unless she already was pre-Immortal there :-). However, let's be honest here. That kind of thing would far too quickly move things to a super-Dawn type of thing, and that isn't what these stories are about. Buffy is the superpowered Summers girl, and while Dawn will undergo some changes in the story arc that will mostly be psychological as she starts to understand who and what she actually is.
As for an update, I'm working on a story now and hope to post it in the near future.
Review By [TonyTheJew] • Date [28 Oct 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from Vld
Review:
Gosh, you make think a lot! I have come with more and more theories, trying to think it through... and I have dismissed quite a few. So far I have kept two. One is that Noir does exit in the main Verse, unbeknownst to thos who created the show, and that there is a Mireille and a Chole, at least, or whatever may be their names around. Possibly even a Kirika... again, whether or not she's got the same name...
My other theory is that when Ethan did his little spell, some higher power used it to change reality some... which would mean that Mireille... and possibly (hopefully) Chloe are alive and kicking. Or you actually thought about that idea I gave in one of my last reviews long before I did. I mean the mingling of Mireille with Sara and Chloe with Jane.
Comments from author:
Ah, well you're pretty close with one of your theories. You might want to read Things that Matter though. In that story (which diverges from the Black Sunrise series during the last chapter of Dark, Darker, ...) the origin of the Terakan's fears is shown.
Review By [Vld] • Date [1 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Vld
Review:
Wow! Well, I must say you keep surprising everyone with your work. I love how you had all that much of Cordy's story covered, not to mention Methos's tendency to abuse his friends' generosity, that kinda things. What surprised me at first was how Dawn reacted first when Cordy came back to life the first time. I would have guessed she would have kept Cordy at gun point immediately, and say "explain" in Noir's no-nonsense voice (I keep making a distinction between Kirika and her emotionless part), but thinking about it afterwards, it would make sense as well.
What surprised me the most, though, was the Evil A-Team. Where did you come with that? as far as I remember of the show, while they were all outlaws, none of them would have accepted a job like that. Or they would have, but played it so that in the end they acted against the commanditaries. Then again, with alternate universes, it's entirely possible to consider an evil A-Team.
Now, I haven't finished reading it yet (and won't be able to read chaps 5 to 7 until tonight at least, but I REALLY REALLY hope Jane and Sara live. Which I will see once I'm finished reading it.
Oh. And you mentioned "Canta per me", what about "Salva nos"? These are my favorites.
Now, I've got an idea, assuming the girls survive this story. They probably still have thier costumes from Halloween, so what if Dawn researched a way to have them changed the same way? With a little change in the spell, of course, because she wouldn't want Chloe and Mireille to try and kill each other again, if they met again, especially since it would be Dawn's best friends as well. So mingling the minds in one go instead of having them becoming either killer without remembering they're Jane and Sara. Well, probably not an easy feat, but that's the BTVS verse, not the Noir one, so rules are a little different, and I'm a sucker for happy endings so... and it would give both girls a fighting chance against the Order of Teraka. (wasn't it Taraka?)
Comments from author:
Thanks. As for the evil A-Team, they aren't actually the one from the show. As explained in the story (although possibly in a later chapter), they actually took their names from the show.
Salva Nos will undoubtedly show up in a story as well, as might several other songs from the soundtracks as there are many beautiful songs on them.
While the idea of having Jane and Sara change into Chloe and Mireille is an interesting one, it won't happen. Dawn's hatred of all things magic would prevent anything like that from happening. On the other hand, I've had requests, and been thinking about, writing a story that would detail what would have happened if the three of them had actually gone together on Halloween. I just have to figure out how to do it in such a way that there are survivors in Sunnydale. :-)
Review By [Vld] • Date [31 Aug 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from PATM
Review:
Cordy Dawn team work, yeah! Buffy characters do well in crossover stories keep it up please
Comments from author:
Thanks, and I have to agree that the Buffyverse is one of the most suitable for crossovers.
Review By [PATM] • Date [21 Aug 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from Telmah
Review:
Wow, just found this story, and stayed up way too late reading it. This plot is thick and getting thicker. Any thicker and you could walk a wooly mammoth across it!
I could see you taking Dawn to the world of "terran jedi" xander harris (another story on this fine archive) where she learns from him ways to contain her dark side, and deal with her emotional trauma.
I love where you seem to be going with this story. Happy writing and may the Muse be gentle but firm with you.
Thank you for sharing your time and talent with us.
-Telmah
Comments from author:
Thank you for your comments.
While I doubt that I'll ever cross this Dawn with another fanfiction series I do hope you like how the series continues.
Review By [Telmah] • Date [2 Aug 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from Wise
Review:
An excellent story, and well told. Good characterization, no obvious spelling or grammatical errors, and a fascinating plot. 10/10
Comments from author:
Thank you
Review By [Wise] • Date [14 Jun 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from CPTSkip
Review:
I love the wheels within wheels within wheels. Now we have to wait for more of your nifty series. Sigh! I hope you eventually tell us more about Dawn the Noir and her world walking abilities and her friends.
Comments from author:
Thanks. I hope I can post more pretty soon, but I'm working on another story first. That will be posted here as well though, so you can see if you like that as well.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [29 Aug 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from CJNyfalt
Review:
A great conclusion. I guess that Adrian is the same character we saw when Dawn went to the village in the other storyline. I guess that Angelus come out and play in the next part of the story. Is Adrian's girl someone we should know or is she an OC?
Comments from author:
Hey, thank you for continuing to review. I'm glad you liked the story/ending.
Anyway, yes Adrian is the same Terakan as in Things that Matter. The girl is an OC, and is in fact the other Terakan who showed up with Adrian. Which should give you some clue as to how dangerous she is.
As for Angelus, well the next story will take place after Buffy's birthday and to (more or less) quote a certain character: there are some things in life that never change.

Of course, some things do change...
Review By [CJNyfalt] • Date [28 Aug 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from CJNyfalt
Review:
Another fine chapter. The Dawn-Noir world part was very good. The Highlander world was fine, but the scheme of the enemies there seems way too convoluted to work in the long run. The real target is Amanda. Now there is a big risk that Amanda goes into hiding if all her students are killed off, so why send competent people after the students? Also why have only one sniper covering the front and not one at the back also?
Comments from author:
Thank you. There is a reason for how things happen in the Highlander world, and I hope you'll find it a good one once you encounter it. Anyway, the reason for only one sniper is that they do fight by the rules, more or less. This way they can determine where the fight takes place and that they won't get away.
Review By [CJNyfalt] • Date [21 Aug 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from CPTSkip
Review:
I love Dawn's relationship with her two friends. All three girls come across as different people and yet still a tight group. Nicely done.

But the bit that darn near gave me a coronary when I read it was: “It’s not.” Why did that kid always have to say these annoying things? It was bad enough that she went around killing people—well not so much people in general as people called Methos—but did she have to act so... so... annoying?

Lol! Great characterizations and neat plotting, what could I ask for more of? Not a thing. Well, just please keep updating.
Comments from author:
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. The next update is on Sunday, but that will be the last part of this story. Sorry about that :-). There will be more sequels though.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [21 Aug 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from CPTSkip
Review:
I am still enjoying the heck out of your story. And I am still totally in the dark about where you are going in both universes. All I know is: I really, really like your Immortal Cordy. She is just so ... neat. More, please?
Comments from author:
Thank you. More will come on Sunday...
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [15 Aug 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from CJNyfalt
Review:
The first part of this chapter was great, especially the Dawn and Buffy interaction. The second part was fine, but the cliffhangers starts to get annoying (I have to wait yet another week!). Did Dawn suspect that Methos is in league with the attackers by his demands to make a call for a car or did she just don't like his insults?
Comments from author:
Thanks. As for the cliffhangers, well they're supposed to make you want to come back for more. :-)
Dawn has a good reason for what she did. It'll all be explained in the next chapter.
Review By [CJNyfalt] • Date [15 Aug 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from CJNyfalt
Review:
Quite good chapter, but the Methos & Amanda part was a bit boring before she started to tell about the time when she met Cordelia.
Comments from author:
Thanks. I do appreciate comments like that, and will try to do better in the future.
Review By [CJNyfalt] • Date [8 Aug 05] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from CPTSkip
Review:
I love this story. The action, the odd bits of humor, the excellent characterization, the whole package is just so darn good, I look forward to each update with a great deal of anticipation. And this update was up to your usual standards. I like both the stories and can't wait to find out what is going on in both time-lines. I hope you keep giving us updates to these delightful stories about these terribly flawed but still wonderful characters.
Comments from author:
And thank you for the fullsome praise (again). Just for that I will post another chapter next week. Okay, I would have done that anyway, but it's always good to hear people enjoy the stories.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [8 Aug 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Unforeseen Consequences: Revelations" from UncleKai
Review:
I LIKE 'Revelations'. Things that Matter is equally good, but i don't like Dark Angel that much, so I had some trouble to motivate myself to read the Story. ;)

Hmm. With Dawn in Touch-My-Family-and-I-will-not-talk-but-Kill-you-Mode... possible Targets: Angelus, Spike, Vamp-Willow, Quentin Travers (Cruciamentum), Post, Walsh... you have a hell of a chance to play with the Canon in a plausible way.

Faith... good question. Your Dawn is actually a little bit more 'messed up' than Faith after the death of her Watcher. Hmm... Dawn as Faith new Watcher? Endless possibilities...

Keep up the good work! *thump up*
Comments from author:
Thanks.
I can understand why you might have trouble reading a story when you don't like one of the series involved. I've had that problem myself back when I actually took the time to read stories, instead of writing my own.
Anyway, yes there are a lot of possibilities I can play with. It's also pretty frustrating when I think of a nice plot that I won't be able to write because there are a dozen or more stories that should come before. The series seems to be growing faster than I can write. Not that that's a bad thing, just frustrating.
Review By [UncleKai] • Date [7 Aug 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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