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Roommate

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Review of chapter "roommate" from spring
Review:
More please
Review By [spring] • Date [16 Nov 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "roommate" from manic
Review:
I liked that Jack was there to help Cassie settle in.
Comments from author:
Thanks! I'm suprised that anyone read this after it was first posted. You're my first reveiw in over a year. I keep meaning to work on a continuation to this story, but never get the chance. I'm glad someone still found it.
Review By [manic] • Date [15 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "roommate" from Duchess
Review:
Cute, but far too short. *vbg*
Comments from author:
Thanks, I'm going to make it longer.
Review By [Duchess] • Date [1 Sep 05] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "roommate" from (Moderator)acs
Review:
An interesting idea. Unfortunately, there are a number of mechanical issues. You might want to consider seeking the aid of a beta.

Also, your summary... two mistakes you might want to fix --

1. a "collage" is art see: http://www.artlex.com/ArtLex/c/collage.html. Dawn is most likely going to "college", a place of higher learning.
2. Your ficlet is 250 words. A drabble is only 100 words. Also -- A drabble should really be a complete "story"/idea/thought. Your ficlet works as a beginning... but has no end.
Comments from author:
thank you for pointing those out. I'm a terrible speller. Also, I'm new to the fic
writing community and wasn't aware of the drabble length thing, I changed it to
drabbleish, and probaly will be adding another chapter anyways.
Review By [(Moderator)acs] • Date [29 Aug 05] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "roommate" from VillageOrchid
Review:
A nicely executed idea/ficlet.
I almost expected the "roomate" to be mini-Jack -- some mix-up with co-ed dorms.
It is plausible for Dawn to study in the midwest to have a nice "normal" college experience. Even if the college isn't in colorado springs, I can see O'Neill wanting to be a short trip away from where Cassie goes.
Thanks for sharing.
Comments from author:
Thanks!! mini!jack and a mix up, interesting. I think I'll add more chapters and toss him in
somewhere!
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [29 Aug 05] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "roommate" from BrendanM
Review:
It's a cute idea, but you've got some issues to work out. Mechanics are pretty important, as are keeping characters "in character".

It wouldn't hurt to have some description of what the characters are doing (shooting death glares, et cetera)
Comments from author:
Thanks for reveiwing!! I thought I was just going to write two or three senances and have it as a drabble, so I didn't think of mechanics or in character, or good descripions. Also, it was one of my last days of vacation and I wanted to make sure I didn't think to hard and not have the mental energy for the first day of 8th grade. good thing I saved it up too, I had 4 out of seven teachers give me at least 10 min of homework!
Review By [BrendanM] • Date [29 Aug 05] • Rating [3 out of 10]
Review of chapter "roommate" from SamDragon
Review:
Well written,but make it a start of a story line,it has a lot of potential.
Comments from author:
Thanks!
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [29 Aug 05] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "roommate" from CPTSkip
Review:
I liked your start. Now I hope you write more as I think Dawn and Cassie could really get into some really good trouble together. Lol!
Comments from author:
Thank you, I will.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [29 Aug 05] • Not Rated
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