coolness

I like the premise of this story. I love to see any new crossovers between the BtVS world and Firefly/Serenity. All that being said there are a few concerns I have with the story.

The first is rather important. Jinni apparently deleted the summary that had huge spoilers for Serenity, and that is good because not everyone has seen it - or likes getting spoiled. However, this isn't technically "Firefly". If you put it in the Firefly category then people are going to think it has to do with the show and not with the movie. Saying in the summary that there are spoilers for Serenity...might not be enough, you might want to reiterate that in the body of the story before you continue.

Second there are a ton of grammatical errors in here. Spell check, like Word, would catch the majority of them. Reading over it a few times would also help catch what a spell-checker won't. Correctly spelled words in the wrong place are still wrong. Also, since Wash is also a verb (among other things) please make sure that you capitalize his name, especially at the beginning of a sentence. The second chapter (I believe) needs to be reformatted (adding extra lines in-between paragraphs and in between sets of dialogue) to make it easier to be read.

Please do not take this the wrong way. This is in no way a negative response. As a writer myself I appreciate it when people take the time to point out mistakes so I can fix them and help better myself.

I am awaiting the next chapter. I can't wait to see how Wash fairs in this 'verse.

interensante. sounds like there's gonna be a lotta chaos ahead. i can't wait!

Great start!

* grin *

never saw illyria in a firefly fic before. could b interesting. sounds like fun. can't wait for the next bit.

I had to take out your story summary because you had put a HUGE spoiler in it. Don't do that. It upsets me and most of the site's users. Please go back and add a summary that does NOT include a spoiler.