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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from pezgirl
its a cool idea and plot...but it has a lot of typos in it.
if you get a beta to help you with this story it could be a good read.
Review By [pezgirl] • Date [7 Dec 07] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from RedDeathLV
I'm being as nice as I possibly can in saying this:

Your "edited lots" chapter is "not edited at all."
Seriously, don't continue unless you get someone to completely revamp the bad grammar, spelling, etc. It's unreadable as it is.
I read only three pages and had to stop. A quick look down the page showed it didn't get any better.
Review By [RedDeathLV] • Date [4 Feb 06] • Rating [2 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from LISA2
I agree with the person before me, there is a lot of potential but your spelling and grammar really let you down. If you don't have a beta you need to find one soon, if you want I could beta your work for you cause I don't really think you can get away with calling the 'iris' 'isis' it's just not going to work.
Review By [LISA2] • Date [2 Feb 06] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Moderator)acs
I hate to be one of your first reviews...

But you should really check the spelling in this first part. You'll spell something correct in one sentence and incorrect in the sentence right after it. You really need to double check names to make sure they are correctly spelled. And a beta to help you with grammar/puctuation would be a good idea.

The sentence structure itself makes this difficult to read and needs to be worked on. I can only assume that English (US or English English) is not your first language.

The idea has potential but needs work... especially the way you combine the different fandoms together.

Hope this helps.
Review By [(Moderator)acs] • Date [1 Feb 06] • Rating [4 out of 10]
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