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White Knight, White Light

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Review of chapter "9 - Brooding" from Genuka
Review:
*clap, clap, clap* Well done.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [3 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "9 - Brooding" from falsegod
Review:
great story good job
Review By [falsegod] • Date [17 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "9 - Brooding" from winnie
Review:
good story, enjoyed it, could stand more
Review By [winnie] • Date [1 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "9 - Brooding" from AriaDragoncrest
Review:
Great story.
Comments from author:
Thank you!
Review By [AriaDragoncrest] • Date [28 Jan 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 4 – Scary Women" from bryleyjames
Review:
I'm enjoying this story a lot I love your A/X I think you have a good grasp on them.
Angel quite honestly was never my favorite on Buffy I always loved Spike. However
Angel the show changed my view on Angel after that. I loved to read Angel/any one
but Xander/Angel I just love them so I hope to read more soon.
Comments from author:
Thanks! I'm really glad you like it. I just realized that I hadn't responded to this review, sorry. I posted the last few chapters today, so I hope you enjoy them.
Review By [bryleyjames] • Date [21 May 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "9 - Brooding" from Dieselsaliva
Review:
I really enjoyed this. I would like to see more. But I feel like you ended it at a good point. =]

~B~
Comments from author:
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. The thought of a sequel has crossed my mind. I ended it the way I did so that would still be a possibility.

I just haven't started actually writing sequel.
Review By [Dieselsaliva] • Date [17 May 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prologue – In The Arms Of An Angel" from (Moderator)JoeHundredaire
Review:
Wow you really need, to learn when and where, to use a comma. Way too many fucking commas. And too many unexplained queers. "I have messed with the time line a bit" doesn't really cover how Xander went from hating Angel's guts (seasons one through three and, to a lesser extent, the other four seasons of Buffy) to being a buttpirate with He Who Has A Giant Forehead. "I love you, my Angel"? Oh God, when I read that one I shot soda out of my nose (and possibly an orifice less publicly acceptable to talk about) and had to reread it to make sure someone had actually written something that stupid. I'd move on to the next chapter, but I don't have a spork handy just in case I'd need to gouge my eyes out.

Great big F on this one. I'd tell you to try again and try harder, but I'm scared what might come out if you do.

And it's spelled prologue, genius.

Oh, and please be aware that I have the handy ability to edit your commentary, so don't feel the need to make a comment about my "issues" like you did with Wise. I'm a clinical psychopath. I know I have issues. I have more issues than a comic book store. It doesn't have any bearing on the fact that your story is complete and utter shit.
Comments from author:
I changed the Prolog to prologue. I guess I slipped a computer term in there on accident.
Review By [(Moderator)JoeHundredaire] • Date [17 May 06] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 4 – Scary Women" from Pearlmegan
Review:
Please add more soon!!!

Pearlmegan :)
Comments from author:
I'll try!
Review By [Pearlmegan] • Date [26 Mar 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Part 2 – What The Hell?" from bryleyjames
Review:
Xanfan I see no reason for you to be sorry you did nothing wrong your story is both well thought out and truly enjoyable.I see no fault in any of you stories I think they are well written. As for Wise yes I know said author is not sorry. And I think it will do no good to rant about the last flame but it is the rude tone and bigoted comments witch I take offense to however sadly I hear all the time. But I won't stop reading or commenting your doing a great job.
Comments from author:
thank you
Review By [bryleyjames] • Date [11 Mar 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue – In The Arms Of An Angel" from bryleyjames
Review:
First off I'd like to say I enjoyed this chapter very much. Secondly Wise is it ? I have never read such bigoted crap in my life secondly as I am homosexual male. I take much offense to the term butt buddies If it doesn't stop I will report this to the moderator.
Comments from author:
I apologize, on behalf of that reviewer, as I doubt they'll ever apologize themselves. I hope that you will continue to read my stories.
Review By [bryleyjames] • Date [11 Mar 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 2 – What The Hell?" from Wise
Review:
Well, I went and read some more of the story. After reading further, I have concluded that it is one of two things: either, 1 - Horrifically bad, or 2, a brilliant parody of Mary-Sue Xander fics with a generous dash of Angel/Xander slash mixed in for taste.

The following lines made me laugh out loud: 'Xander was nothing if not purity and goodness and love.'

Yes. Except for all the times that he wasn't. Like when he got a stick up his arse and was an overly judgemental jerk. And when he leapt to the wrong conclusions. And when he summoned a dancing demon because he thought living in a musical sounded like fun. And the way he left Anya at the altar. And the way he was so easily manipulated into near hatred of his friends thanks to Spike in 'the Yoko factor.' And his rampant immaturity throughout the first two thirds of the show. And his total lack of ambition. I could go on. Xander is many things, but perfect is not one of them. To ignore his flaws is to make him less than human, and to do a disservice to the wonderful, complex character that Joss and his writers created. That is, of course, assuming that this is not a parody.

'“Maybe I can help explain. And, Xander is it? If you look me in the eyes, the buzzing will go away.” The man offered.'

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition! :D

'“No baby, you’re alive.” Angel said in awe.'

But that was in Awe. Meanwhile, back in Sunnydale...
I kid, I kid. Seriously, though. Where the heck did you pull this Xander/Angel relationship out of? There was absolutely *zero* evidence of it in the series, and the fact that you don't even bother to show how these two characters moved from disliking each other and somewhat disinterestedly wishing the other dead to being lovey dovey butt-buddies makes me feel vaguely nauseous.

Also, if everything evil was destroyed and/or banished, why are Angel and Spike still alive (so to speak?) Or if it wouldn't have killed them, why are they still vampires? Angelus is certainly no cute cuddly puppy, and did you ever hear the story about how Spike got his name?

Keep writing. I'll keep laughing. If comedy is your aim, then keep up the good work.
Review By [Wise] • Date [5 Mar 06] • Rating [2 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 2 – What The Hell?" from kizunakat
Review:
love this chapter. cant wait to see who the immortal is. by the buzz I think it is probly methos. love kizuna
Comments from author:
You'll see
Review By [kizunakat] • Date [4 Mar 06] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 1 – And Evil Trembled" from kizunakat
Review:
awesome story. cant wait to see who you have train him. methos versus the scooby gang yay!
Comments from author:
You might get a hint in the next chapter
Review By [kizunakat] • Date [3 Mar 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 1 – And Evil Trembled" from bryleyjames
Review:
First I'd like to say I love this story and I don't think their ooc or ocs I think you
are doing a beautiful job with xan *hugs*. Okay on to miss slash warning are you
blind thats what Angel/Xander means *Hello* and xanfan wonderful job more please.
Comments from author:
Thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate it. *hugs back and tries not to wipe tears and snot on your shoulder*
Review By [bryleyjames] • Date [3 Mar 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Part 1 – And Evil Trembled" from Wise
Review:
In a word, bad. Very bad. Craptastic, even.

Before I begin with what's wrong with the fic, I'll make a note of what's right about it: for the most part, your words are spelled correctly. Your grammar is also halfway decent, though there is the occasional grammatical error here and there throughout the story. Thank you for making the effort to make your story understandable. It is a thing that too few authors even bother to do.

All right then. On to the bad.

You can call the characters Angel and Xander, but then you could also call a duck a cow. That doesn't make it so. If you're going to have Angel and Xander in a relationship together, there is a significant amount of character growth that both of them have to undergo to move them to that point. If you simply wave your hands and say 'this is how they are,' then you're not writing Angel or Xander, you're writing two original characters that just happen to share their names.

You don't take the time to explore the characters or their new relationship (or how they got there), you don't bother keeping anyone in character, and the whole thing reads more like a summary of a story than an actual story. You make Xander into a saint whose death is the catalyst for the purification of the entire hellmouth and sends everyone who ever knew him into a state of insensate rage. Great. Only thing is, I don't believe you, first because you never bothered to show how he got to that point, and second because 'that point' is basically the status of being a Mary-Sue.

For future reference: the toilet is *that way.* Next time you have to defecate, do it into the toilet, and not on Joss's characters.

***

'Wait and see' is an impossibility. I cannot judge the story based on chapters I have not read. I can only judge it based on what is currently posted. If the quality of the story is altered by future chapters, I will say so in my review of those chapters.
Comments from author:
Thank you for your very kind and thought out words, especially since the story isn't finished and you have no idea whether I will give back story on Xander and Angel's relationship or not.
Review By [Wise] • Date [3 Mar 06] • Rating [1 out of 10]
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