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The Beginning Is The End

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Review of chapter "I robot...you jane...C" from kolar
Review:
I stopped reading halfway into this. Xander already knows the future yet he does nothing to change it, it's not even like he's pretending not to know or anything, this just comes off like cannon buffy with a female hyena xander inserted rather than a time travel fic.
Review By [kolar] • Date [29 Oct 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Stalled Feelings" from twlight
Review:
Wonderful. The only thing I don't like is that Xander slept with Lindsey. Other then that this is a wonderful story I do hope that the relationships get worked out soon. I really love that Faith is in a better place in this story then she was in the show.
Review By [twlight] • Date [18 Jul 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Stalled Feelings" from DieselDriver
Review:
The first half or 3/4 of this were pretty darned good even with the typos and words wrongly used. I was planning to recommend it. But that ending was just to raunchy and totally unnecessary. So while it's an ok story, I can't recommend it.

Why do you think it's to long??? It's not to long. My favorite story on this site is 170+ chapters and still going strong. This one seems like you decided to end the story and just cobbled together some sort of supposed climax and then stopped. You really aught to redo the ending in the manner and with the quality of story telling that the first half has. If it takes another 25 or 50 chapters so what? It's all just for fun anyway.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [2 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Don't Like SurPrises...pt4" from DieselDriver
Review:
Gah! "Shuttered" is what you do to a window during a storm. "Shuddered" is when someone shakes because they are grossed out or disgusted. Do you even have a proofreader? If you do, he/she isn't worth what you're paying him/her.

On the other hand, It's a great story so far. So sad that it's brought down by such easy to fix errors.

Here's a great site for you to check things like that. Or given the cool story, can I help with your proofreading?

dictionary.com


shut·ter
[shuht-er] Show IPA
noun
1. a solid or louvered movable cover for a window.
2. a movable cover, slide, etc., for an opening.
3. a person or thing that shuts.
4. Photography . a mechanical device for opening and closing the aperture of a camera lens to expose film or the like.
verb (used with object)
5. to close or provide with shutters: She shuttered the windows.
6. to close (a store or business operations) for the day or permanently.

However:

shud·der
[shuhd-er] Show IPA
verb (used without object)
1. to tremble with a sudden convulsive movement, as from horror, fear, or cold.
noun
2. a convulsive movement of the body, as from horror, fear, or cold.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [31 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Don't Like Surprises..." from DieselDriver
Review:
Hehehehe! When I read about Dru's roses I couldn't help thinking of the song in the Disney animated "Alice in Wonderland". "We're painting the roses red"...

Painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
We dare not stop
Or waste a drop
So let the paint be spread
We're painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red

http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/a/aliceinwonderland23618/paintingtherosesred784316.html
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [31 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Slice of Life...Two" from DieselDriver
Review:
Hey! What the heck is the answer to that question anyway? I'm just a sheltered city boy from Southern California and I have no idea what is blue and comes in 6 pieces. Give a guy a break won't you?
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [31 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Some People Never Learn...pt.1" from DieselDriver
Review:
This seemed like a very short chapter but the laughter it engendered was most welcome. Very good story.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [31 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Romeo's Got Nothing..." from DieselDriver
Review:
I REALLY like this version of Jessica so much more than the original or even any of the others I've seen in the other fan fictions. Reading all this fan fiction has pretty much ruined the actual TV series for me. Every time I try to watch an episode I've missed it comes off badly in comparison to the stories here. Your story is especially good which is why I lament so, at the errors in proofreading. If it continues to be this good you'll get my recommendation at the end even with the errors.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [31 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Irony, Thy Name Is Spike...Pt2" from DieselDriver
Review:
This sentence would be much more effective as well as making a lot more sense if instead of:

"That is something Xander agrees with you, venomously."

it read:

"That is something Xander agrees with you, vehemently."

Story is still really good and fun to read though.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [31 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Irony, Thy Name Is Spike...Pt2" from DieselDriver
Review:
Your definition of Irony isn't quite right.

irony: [ahy-ruh-nee, ahy-er-] noun, plural i·ro·nies.
1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. Literature.
a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
b. (especially in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., especially as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.

Story is still great fun. Still lots of errors in the grammar and usage of words though. Don't blame Bumpkin, one proofreader can't catch everything.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [30 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Nightmares...pt.A" from DieselDriver
Review:
The story is really good but the poor grammar and improper words are detracting from the enjoyment quite a bit. Any chance you could go back and fix some of those errors. Things like "there" instead of "they're" or "their". Example of proper usage follows:

Their cars were all parked over there and they're going over to move them.

Lot's of other random errors, that's just the main one that I can think of at the moment. Fixing them would enhance the enjoyment of your story.

Keep writing, it's good stuff.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [30 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Puppet Show...Pt.A" from DieselDriver
Review:
This reminded me of the old (1952) Sci Fi story "The Star Dummy," by Anthony Boucher, published in Conklin's Omnibus of Science Fiction. The teddybear-shaped six-fingered alien was trying to communicate with the koalas in the zoo until an open-minded human showed up and the two traded written numbers. He had crash landed and was stranded alone on the Earth. Started up a Ventriloquist act and were, of course, very well received. Then they met another Ventriloquist act, made up of another alien, and the non-"dummy" part of the act was a shy woman. Turned out the aliens were mates and had lost touch with each other during the crash and both had come up with the same scheme to find each other. Worked too. And the two humans and the two aliens lived happily ever after. At least I think so. It's been a LONG freaking time since I read it.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [30 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "And Now...The Party" from RedCalypso
Review:
I had forgotten about this story until I saw part II was up, so I had to come back to refresh my memory. I like the explanation for the do-over, it makes sense. I do NOT like the fact that the Angel-torture really hasn't been dealt with between Buffy and Xander. It was just glossed over and then forgotten after the zombie attack. Buffy needs to acknowledge that Angel wears the face of the demon that put Xander through hell and that Xander has every right to her feelings about Angel. In short, I'm SICK of Buffy's self-centeredness and selfishness.
Review By [RedCalypso] • Date [8 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Stalled Feelings" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I think you did a good job at handling friendships and multiples in relationships. I didn't agree with all of your choices, but there was a lot of "things" out of control regarding Xander's memory that you set up. Overall, the Buffy-verse is in a better place with stronger bonds between characters. I am curious why you didn't go back and edit chapters that had a lot of word errors in them, considering you can do that here on twisting.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [7 Jul 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "One Rotten Egg..." from (Current Donor)Starfox
Review:
Very entertaining story. One nitpick: It's "Ménage à trois", not "trios".
Review By [(Current Donor)Starfox] • Date [8 Jan 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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