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Visionary: The Rewrite

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Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from lateVMlover
Review:
If you posted another version of this story that is better, why did I waste my time reading the other? You should delete it or something. Really annoying. It needed some polishing but not sure a rewrite. It was amusing and entertaining.
Review By [lateVMlover] • Date [16 Jul 14] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Incoming" from DragonBard
Review:
Actually, Willow's able to control herself with black eyes.

It's when her 'hair' goes black you need to kiss your but good-bye.
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [3 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from AnFan
Review:
I really enjoyed reading this, though I did skip through it having read the original. The humor was great. Xander may have used one too many "Holy ... Batman" comments, but they still worked.

I'm really looking forward to the next stories and hope they have at least some of the humor you've put into this one.
Review By [AnFan] • Date [29 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from deathgeonous
Review:
Fun fic. Thanks for writing this, bye for now.
Review By [deathgeonous] • Date [30 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from (Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard
Review:
excellent rewrite :) looking forward if there is series 4.
Review By [(Recent Donor)SlayerandWereLeopard] • Date [2 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from Kethric
Review:
I think it was sad that you viewed the review of JoeHundredaire as a flame. I think it was spot on, and I think you, whether you wanted to admit it or not, agreed. The excessive spacing has been fixed. Also, Joe's take on your characterizations really aren't off the mark. I understand that this is supposed to be a humorous fic. And yes, your characterizations of the Sunnydale crew is fairly accurate. Your characterizations of the SG-1 crew isn't as accurate. O'Neill? Mirthful? Sure. Teal'c slyly humorous? At times. Sam Carter or Jackson acting the way you have them? Not an accurate representation. That said. This is fanfic, almost by definition it's expected, at least by me, that not all of the characters or events involved are going to be pure canon. If they were, there would be no room or possibility for fanfic. Not all reviews are going to be glowing and gushing about how good a job you did. Reviews with negative tones are also important tools, for you to realize areas in which you can improve. I gather that you're from across the pond, judging by your spelling, so I'm not going to be too harsh in this regard, but I'm still fairly certain that you've got some serious issues with relying on spellcheck. Sander instead of Xander? The wrong word entirely? Strange, sometimes apparently random use of capital and lower case letters? And your punctuation? All need work. Granted, you may have improve since you've written this story, but as far as I've seen in your work, these are areas in which you can improve. This is not a bad story, and I hope the intent of the series remains the same.


I do, however, have one question.

Why are there so many people interested in O'Neill's endowments?
Review By [Kethric] • Date [14 Oct 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Dreams" from Sahugani
Review:
Intresting story.

Out of curiostity, Where does the term Tarith'na come from? Or is it something that one of you made up and just stuck some how? just wondering cause i've seen it used a couple other times in buffy/stargate fics.
Review By [Sahugani] • Date [28 Apr 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from jessie
Review:
Interesting!
Review By [jessie] • Date [2 Jan 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from mithrilandtj
Review:
Very much an impovement over the original.
Much easier to read and I really like the addition of some of the story filler in the early chapters.
Good work!
Review By [mithrilandtj] • Date [10 Apr 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from purrfus
Review:
What an improvement from the original version. The formatting is much cleaner, and so much easier to read. The story flows much better, and some of the added details really made a big impact.

In chapter 6 Buffy mentions the scotch, the videos, and the potential nuking of best friends, and then in chapter 8 she is surprised and angry? This appears as a continuity problem. Some of the words are used incorrectly, for instance in one sentence you have Carter as his and her.

Since you do have problems with betas, try reading the chapters aloud. It really helps in catching spelling and grammar errors that most spell-checkers don't.

Looking forward to the next installment.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [19 Feb 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from Bobboky
Review:
very good
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [25 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Initiative Files" from TarnishedGold
Review:
I didn't see anything wrong with the last one, but I like the fuller explanations. So glad Jack's list is still here. Keep up the good work.
Gold
Review By [TarnishedGold] • Date [30 Apr 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from JapAmazon
Review:
PLease Please Please {is My beggging and groveling good enough?] write the Part 4
Review By [JapAmazon] • Date [30 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Thor and the Tarithna" from Vld
Review:
YES!!! A PART 4!!! PLEASE!!! How do the Scoobs and Dawnie deal with the aftermath? All of the younger Slayers dead... *shudder*
Review By [Vld] • Date [30 Apr 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Dreams" from matthew
Review:
Look, I'm really trying to enjoy this, but the grammar is absolutely atrocious. Get *someone* to read it over. A friend, a sibling, a parent, I don't care who, but *somebody*.
Review By [matthew] • Date [30 Apr 06] • Not Rated
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