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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from qrm
I love the story it has an interesting angle but there is one thing I really have to say. To state that the galexy only has nine planets is compleatly wrong, the sloer system only has nine planets, we reside within the milkyway galexy which is populated by millions of planets.
Please continue this story I really like it a lot and there are far too few good star wars stories on this site.
Review By [qrm] • Date [12 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from spring
Stopping at this point is jut way way mean! I love what you have so far but I want more! Please please please update with cherries on top?
Review By [spring] • Date [11 Jan 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)Shieldage
I like it.

I'd add a small timeline to the beginning of the fic. Ya mentioned that he doesn't age in that galaxy, but (besides 5 years before training Luke and Leia) failed to mention how long he lived there. I don't think ya mentioned how time passed on Earth while he was away (No time, three months, other rate)?

Kind of an unwieldy and large group there, maybe only focus on six per Chapter and, in dfifferent chapters, go over the same period several times with different Points of View/Seen events.
Review By [(Current Donor)Shieldage] • Date [7 Sep 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Moderator)KaylaShay
At first, I thought the problem was only going to revolve around the formatting. You do not have any paragraphs. It seems as if everything is run together (even your information at the top) and that makes for a very hard read.

Then came the story itself. It was like a rush of "let's get Xander and everyone remotely connected to Xander to the Star Wars universe." You have everyone from Buffy and Angel living together in a house with no explanation to why and no clear idea of who all is present. Then Riley and Sam pop in at the last moment and abandon all to jump on board.....

I love Xander fics and even some "Xander gets a power" fics, but here, he has fixed a space ship, become a space traveler, become the ultimate dark/light Jedi and returned to Earth in time for dinner. Not to mention having a family.

Perhaps, if you could slow your thought process down and go back and make actual chapters out of everything and use paragraphs it could help.

Another part that irked me was the sudden bit with Willow, Kennedy and the barbell. We went from normal dialog and discussion to girl on girl action. I know you had the rating in place, but that just jumped out of no where. There was no transition or lead in to that...

Anyhow, I guess I'm saying you might head back to the drawing board or keyboard for this one...
Review By [(Moderator)KaylaShay] • Date [2 May 06] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from tigerfanfrv
wow, way too much going on. why push every single buffy/angel charcter into one fic? how could xander go join the jedi, break several known truths of being a jedi, have a family, fight in the clone wars and be back to earth in the time of the average summer vacation? and then of course is the sudden and for no reason what so ever, the kennedy/ willow getting it on, they are gay, that doesn't mean they will have sex 24/7. i'd go back and edit out some of the buffyverse charcters. do you really need cordy or gunn or sam or angel..... (see where i'm going with this?)
Review By [tigerfanfrv] • Date [1 May 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from superbrutal
Wow that's a lot of characters in incorporate into the story, I hope that you're up to the challenge.

Anyways I look forward to your next chapter.
Review By [superbrutal] • Date [1 May 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from kizunakat
very cool. would love to read more. kizuna
Review By [kizunakat] • Date [1 May 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Past Donor)JoeHundredaire
Ah, the uber-powerful, never-aging super Xander. You have what could probably be two or three well-developed chapters crushed into one, which basically turns the entire thing (including his time in the Star Wars galaxy) into one big expository lump. Way to ruin my favorite crossover.
Review By [(Past Donor)JoeHundredaire] • Date [1 May 06] • Rating [1 out of 10]
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