Review By [Lemons] • Date [7 Jun 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Platform 9 ¾" from Keshkreature
Review:
I love it! A whole new take on the Faith's wizard daughter thingy =) Please write more soon; I can't wait to see which house she gets sorted into, and how she and Drake will get along in school.
Review By [Keshkreature] • Date [2 Feb 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Okay - first the bad news. I can't tell you that this is a great story because it really does have some problems. The underlying logic for actions / reactions seems to be AWOL. At the moment, the chapters are short enough to be slightly disruptive. The story has raised more questions than it has answered, and while answers may be forthcoming at this point the lack of balance - percentage of questions raised / poised vs questions answered within the story - is making the story less enjoyable than it could be.
The good news is that the story was lots of fun to read, partly because some of the characters seemed off canon. If you are able to bring the question percentage under control things should improve.
Please don't change the main points of your story just because someone may not like what you do or don't do with a particular character. Please do change the flow and pacing of the action / interaction to allow interesting to become something more.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [28 Jan 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
I'm not quite sure what I think about this story. I like the premise, especially the idea of Faith pulling an almost-Darla and dying right before her child was born, but Lexi seems pretty much like a Mary Sue, and you spend most of the story TELLING us what happens, rather than showing us. Then there are the things that just don't make any sense- for example, why exactly is Lexi going to Hogwarts instead of the Salem Academy? There aren't any Americans at canon Hogwarts for a reason. Second, why in the WORLD would Giles just hand one of "his" kids over to the Ministry of Magic? After all of their experiences with the old Council, he'd probably be really suspicious of that kind of set up, and he'd do a LOT of digging about Fudge before he'd hand Lexi over. And why exactly would ANYONE agree to Lexi spending time at the house of a complete stranger, who if the scoobies did ANY investigating, they would discover practices dark magic?
This just makes no sense. Basically, I get the feeling that you as an author like Draco and want him to be a decent guy and have a special relationship with Lexi, and you couldn't be bothered to find a reasonable, logical way to make this happen, so you forced it. Your characterization of both Malfoys is completely off- the ONLY line in character for Draco the entire fic was the one about the cruciatus curse, and that was only in character if you assume that he and Lexi have already bonded, which taxes belief to an incredible extent.
Review By [littleoldme] • Date [28 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Platform 9 ¾" from mithrilandtj
Review:
I like it. Update soon!
Review By [mithrilandtj] • Date [28 Jan 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
