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A Wheel of Time Halloween

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Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from borgrabbit
Review:
Haiku dirge:

A shame the story's dead
Be nice to see where it led
Your muse—has it fled

┌☺-☻-☺-☻-☺-☻┐
Review By [borgrabbit] • Date [1 Dec 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Hanzo
Review:
NekoKen
Review By [Hanzo] • Date [13 Sep 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from (Current Donor)NekoHibiki
Review:
MOREE!!!!!!
Review By [(Current Donor)NekoHibiki] • Date [2 Feb 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from lorwen
Review:
I love the story.
Just wanted to encourage you to write more.
Review By [lorwen] • Date [31 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from lorwen
Review:
Story is TRULY awesome.
Need more story.
Review By [lorwen] • Date [29 Oct 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from AnthonyR
Review:
good story so far. what with Buffy being against Kendra partying, and Xander backing down? anyway, there are like 11 books out, not just seven, and that's not counting the prequels.
Review By [AnthonyR] • Date [30 Mar 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Ben
Review:
[Bangs the table with knife and fork]

More! More! More!

I want More!
Review By [Ben] • Date [13 Mar 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from APS
Review:
Great story,
keep up the good work.
Review By [APS] • Date [21 Jan 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Bluesnowman
Review:
Wonderfull story so far I can not wait for more.
Comments from author:
Thank you! I'm working on more.
Review By [Bluesnowman] • Date [14 Nov 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from FohkuKohgeki
Review:
This story kicks some major ass.
Comments from author:
Thanks! Glad you like it.
Review By [FohkuKohgeki] • Date [9 Nov 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from JaredDrake
Review:
I've read some of the books. I recognize most of what you're talking about. Sooo...Xander is a part of the wheel. Kinda. He's getting memories, like Mat Cauthlon. Will he get the military and cultural skills of his past lives? Are they past lives or just something like what happened to Mat? Xander's also picked up a weapon like Cauthlon, a naginata-like weapon - an Ashandarei.

The whole eye thing. Season 7 of Buffy, the loss of his eye. You also draw references to Odin, the eye, the ravens. Odin was said to have sacrifised his eye for knowledge. I think. Mat Cauthlon is, I think, destined to lose his eye = "Half the light to save the world", or something along those lines.

The Ravens - Perrin? Heh, maybe??? Multiple wives, yeh. Willow (or Dawn?) Mentioned something about Ravens and people from across the seas? Seanchan? Some of Xander's memories and remembered philosophies are asian in origin.

Then theres the Taint!!! I don't remember Mat or anyone of the goodguys in the books acting out evil and shit from memories. Mat had blank spots though, I believe that was fixed when they went to the Aiel waste. The taint, of course, refers to the dagger recieved in...Shadar logoth or something. Similar?

And finally, his luck!!! You are definitely drawing more from Mat that you are from Lan. Mat is very lucky at games of chance. Odin was known as The Gambler.

Also, Mat is one of my favorite characters. Heh.

Anyway you can respond to this???
Comments from author:
Sure. Yeah, I'm pulling mostly from Mat, who's one of my favorite characters. I always thought there was a similarity between Mat and Xander, both jokers, both suddenly gaining military skills through a mystic experience, and the eye thing. So I'm playing that up. Mat seems to have a connection with Odin.

I'm glad you're liking it. Don't think I'm doing the multiple wives thing. As for the rest, wait and see.
Review By [JaredDrake] • Date [6 Nov 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Ben
Review:
1. I think Xander's getting into gambling a little too early and a little too much, unless you want it to cause problems down the road...

2. I think you have the chronologies a little mixed up. Andrew Wells' "Wizard of Oz" Batboons were a subplot of season 1's "The Puppet Show" so I don't think Xander could necessarily have turned him away from Tucker's bad influence that easily. In addition, Warren Mears was a senior at MIT when he dropped out during season five, which means that he was a freshman during Season two, and therefore not available. (Jonathan can stay, he was part of the Wishverse Scooby Gang, after all)

3. Hmm... I wonder what Drusilla will think of Dawn and Xander. After all, Dawn's still the Key, right?

4. I think the Kendra subplot needs a little revision. Buffy's reaction seems too absolute for her Season Two POV. It sounds more like Season Seven Buffy before Faith's Coup.

5. Poor Xander. He just can't win for losing. First Buffy is snared by Angel, now Willow and Oz are an item. And it looks like Cordelia won't be available this time around, which means he will have to settle for Dawn after all, unless you have something special planned with Kendra, Faith, or Anya.

6. In addition, where is Amy Madison?

7. One other thing I just noticed. When did they discover Willow's potential? In the main timeline, no one really had a clue until the soul restoration ritual. Suddenly, Willow's getting lessons and it looks like it came from left field.
Comments from author:
I was using Wikipedia which has Warren as a classmate of Buffy's, graduating with her in the class of 1999. I'm too lazy to rewatch season six and take notes. So this will be the AU where Wikipedia is always right. Wiki also says the batboons were season three. ~shrug~

No Dawn, she's waayy too young. Maybe he'll do the cool loner thing. But Dawn is still the Key.

There's an instory reason why Xander's so persuasive. Amy will eventally show.

Buffy's reaction to Kendra is completely out of character. She's lying and rather desperately. Giles started on the blame Xander train, and Buffy's saying whatever to keep that train moving. This is the girl who dances at the Bronze with her vampire boyfriend.
Review By [Ben] • Date [4 Nov 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Ben
Review:
I think I'll review it chapter by chapter.


Well now, we have an interesting development and setup. Still, I think I have a few nitpicks.

Power wrought metal weapons (such as Heron Marked Blades) don't have any particular potency against Shadowspawn in general. Aside from Mat's Foxhead Medallion against Gholam, There are melee weapons that do, but those are made of cuendillar, not metal, and those require the wielder be able to channel. In addition, the White Tower is extremely leery of lending them out regardless of the reason or situation.

2. Exactly where were Dawn and Xander when the Janus statue was shattered?

3. I think Dawn's descent into threshold sickness was a little rapid. I thought that as long as there was someone there holding the individual's hand (so to speak) the symptoms would at least be moderated.
Comments from author:
You're right about the power wrought weapons. Not sure where I got the idea they burned shadow spawn but they don't. Dawn and Xander were out patrolling the streets, or rather Lan and Moiraine were. Trying to help out, protect the people, healing, and that sort of thing. When the spell broke, they wandered home with everyone else.

I sort of had Dawn going from no power, to supporting Moiraine level power, and so having a strong reaction. Not sure that made sense.
Review By [Ben] • Date [3 Nov 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Ben
Review:
Let's see here...

1. I think that Jenny revealing her ethnicity (even if only to Dawn, and therefore picked up by Xander) was something at least little out of charecter. None of the Characters in the main timeline had any reason to suspect, until her behavior during the events of the Judge incident.

2. I think the real source of Xander's memories is glaringly obvious even to him if only he reads between the lines properly.

3. Xander's parents behave remarkably in charecter, at least as far as we know them. Good Work.

4. What happened to Eyghon and Ethan Rayne?

5. Run Grammar Check. Too many times you are putting periods where you should be putting spaces.
Comments from author:
1. Jenny was using her gypsy background to work with Dawn, so it sort of came out. I'm sure if she was keeping it a secret or a it didn't come up thing. But it sort of had to come out.

2. But nobody's lost an eye. That's what I'm hanging it on. And psychological resistance to being the lose an eye guy. That's not fun.

3. Thanks.

4. Off screen. I didn't feel it directly impacted my story, so I had it happen off screen. I'm doing that several times. If everything was exactly the same, I skip it. Hmm, maybe I should post some kind of quick summary or something. Will think about this.

5. I do run the Word grammar check, but maybe I should upgrade.
Review By [Ben] • Date [3 Nov 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from physicsteach
Review:
I'm really enjoying this, and I hope you're able to post more soon.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you're liking it.
Review By [physicsteach] • Date [3 Nov 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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