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It Will Be All Right

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Review of chapter "It Will Be All Right" from TerraLogan
Review:
THis was amazing. Thank you for the very awesome story.
Review By [TerraLogan] • Date [12 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "It Will Be All Right" from spk
Review:
Just discovered this. Forgiving any grammatical errors, I really enjoyed the depth of this piece as you delved into Buffy's emotional turmoil. Good job. :)
Review By [spk] • Date [27 Jul 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "It Will Be All Right" from Amai
Review:
It was interesting. To start with, reading it, I have no idea that English was not your first language (it's mine) so don't worry about that. I did have to wonder what your overall point of the story was. To me it felt more as though you were setting of a prologue that would continue (possibly with back story) than writing a complete story. Like I said, it was intresting, but not fully developed.

But it's easier to work on writing style, than ideas, so you're off to a good start.

Thanks for sharing.
Review By [Amai] • Date [19 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It Will Be All Right" from spring
Review:
I think that this is an absolutely wonderful fic. Please please please continue writing such wonderful fic's
Review By [spring] • Date [17 Jun 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "It Will Be All Right" from Wise
Review:
You let some of your descriptions get away from you. "The tears she had tried to keep from coming were flowing down her cheeks like small crystal rivers and they felt endless," for example, in addition to being a runon sentence, provokes in me not a reaction of sympathy, but of incredulity. It brings to mind some other famously absurd metaphors and similes:

"For thogh I wepe of teres ful a tyne..." (the famous barrel full of tears)

See also:
"Nas never pyk walwed in galauntyne as I in love am walwed and ywounde..."

That's Middle-English, mind you, but still applicable. Try not to let your descriptions get away from you. Use the right word, and not it's second cousin. Avoid runon sentences, and try to get to the heart of what you're attempting to express. If one word will do just as well as three, then use one.

Some phrases I do not actually know the meaning of. What, for example, does 'blood bumbing in her ears' mean?

You've also got some unnecessary words.

"She missed Spike, his beautiful blue eyes and that cocky smirk he would always wear on his"

Me: "Pants? Shirt? Coat-rack?"

"lips."

Me: "Oh."

Finally, to be honest, I could have used a little more cowbell.
Review By [Wise] • Date [12 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It Will Be All Right" from Twoboots
Review:
Great Story! Don't worry about your grammar. It's a lot better here than in many stories I have read where English is the author's first language!
Review By [Twoboots] • Date [12 Jul 06] • Not Rated
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