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Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Wild Child" from normanK
Review:
Hope your muse comes back. Excellent story. You do seem to show Hermione as too weak.
Review By [normanK] • Date [17 Nov 14] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Wild Child" from (Current Donor)MaxGSandeman
Review:
Illyria engenders a certain tone of don't think of me as an equal. I look forward to the coming battle.
Review By [(Current Donor)MaxGSandeman] • Date [7 Jul 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Wild Child" from WhiteWolf
Review:
I like the chapter and the introduction of that demon character.
Review By [WhiteWolf] • Date [1 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3: Wild Child" from Valkyrie
Review:
It took long enough. Looking forward to more. ... Yeah. I suppose.
Comments from author:
But isit worth the wait?
Review By [Valkyrie] • Date [31 Aug 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter2" from Strangyr
Review:
I gotta be honest with you.....I normaly HATE HP fics.......but this story is so original that it kind of sucks you in and makes you want to read more........Hope to see more soon.
Review By [Strangyr] • Date [15 Aug 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter2" from NumberFive
Review:
I really like this story. Hermione seems to have moved away from grief though. how long has it been since her parents died? Can't wait to see more!!!
Comments from author:
She's repressing her feelings and letting her anger take over. She feels in someway it's her fault that they died, which I will explain later.

Unlike Harry's anger (after the death of Sirius), Hermione's is much more focused and specfically ponited toward Voldemort and Draco. However, every now and then some of that anger spills out and she ends up lashing out at any around her.
Review By [NumberFive] • Date [27 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter2" from LenaMaria
Review:
I love this fic. Who exactly is the Granger's "master"? Hmm, this is so interesting. Will Hermione return to Illyria?
Comments from author:
Find out next chapter.

Maybe... ^~
Review By [LenaMaria] • Date [27 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from (Current Donor)MaxGSandeman
Review:
No build up to this one, just wham. I want to see, where you take Hermione's darker side.
By the way, nice background on Brian. I understand, why you wanted to reconsider it. Will you be re-posting it, in a future chapter?
Comments from author:
yes, I suppose the way Hermione killed Brian was kinda spontanious but that was the effect I was going for. Hermione let her anger get the best of her(Brain played the wrong card IE trying to use Hermione's mother against her), Illyria warned her not to let anger get in the way... We'll just have to see were it leads.
Review By [(Current Donor)MaxGSandeman] • Date [23 Jul 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from Lin
Review:
it created horrible mental pictures but i could not stop reading it..would like to see where you take it...especailly the Granger's "master"
Review By [Lin] • Date [21 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from Vld
Review:
Ten says Brian had something to do with the Grangers' Master. Because I don't believe in coincidences. And 'Mione will stop complaining now, I believe!
Comments from author:
I will be dropping a few subtle clues concerning that in the next chapter. Look for it.
Review By [Vld] • Date [19 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from cwolf
Review:
wasn't there a chapter 2 to this? I know I read it.
Comments from author:
I took it down because it wasn't to my satisfaction. Currently in the process of revision.

The revised Chapter 2 is now up.
Review By [cwolf] • Date [18 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from Vld
Review:
Well, i could have sworn I had reviewed this one, but apparently i didn't yet, so let me correct that mistake. That was incredible. And raises a couple questions, such as... who were 'Mione's parents' master? (the "our Master's Return" part). Then of course there is Illyria. Is she just Illyria, like she was in the show, or does she have a spark of Fred, like the grief she felt towards Wesley's death led to think? How will what happened affect Hermione? Will we get to see the other students, etc... Will she ever be happy again, will she be Mione again, etc...
Comments from author:
I think you're the only one that actually notice there something wierd... about Hermione's parents. Good job.
Review By [Vld] • Date [17 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from Worldmaker
Review:
Okay, here's a review:

Authors who blackmail their readers with lines like "If you want more Reviews are a must" are writing for all the wrong reasons and should stop writing.
Comments from author:
Well it must have work because you reviewed. If you wish you can stop reading. If you have nothing constructive, be it good or bad, if you say things just to say them then you can stop reading. Reviews are not just for my personal enjoyment, it helps me to improve my story, my writing style, tells me if my characterization is off and if the direction I'm going is too hard for my audience to follow. It makes my story better and barring the involvment of a beta it is the only means to spot my mistakes so I can correct for them.
Review By [Worldmaker] • Date [17 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from Odjn
Review:
Neat. Looking forward to more. I hope you don't make us wait too long.

I forgot to add that I thought some of Illyria's lines were a little... off. Like you'd taken them from the show and just changed them enough to fit the situation.

Then again, Illyria is a hard character to write (for me, anyway). Hermione as Illyria's follower... that's a really interesting idea, and I really am looking forward to more.



The lines that stick out: "Seize your bleating. It is disgusting, puking your feelings into the air. It is revolting to my senses." (It should be "cease" by the way.) The line about puking her feelings... It was something Illyria said to Wesley. It's rather unique, and thus sticks out. Illyria is inhuman, yes, but she has learned, and she's not quite this harsh by the end of Angel, just... distant, unrelatable. (That's part of what makes her hard to write; how are you supposed to relate to a god, even a fallen one?)
Comments from author:
she didn't really change that much at least not to the point where her speech pattern changed. She's still arrogant. The only difference is that she is confused as to what is her goal.
Review By [Odjn] • Date [17 Jul 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from (Past Donor)Jewel
Review:
Gruesomely fascinating.
Review By [(Past Donor)Jewel] • Date [16 Jul 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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