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Review of chapter "Library II" from BinarySobriquet
Review:
Strike 1: the fic is dead.
Strike 2: the fic only has 20k words.
Strike 3: the fic has more than two narrative viewpoints
Conclusion: Fuck this shit.
Comments from author:
1. Yeah, can often suck. In the vein of writers treating readers badly. Fair point.
3. Personal opinion, based on past experience. I like it when it's pulled off well in video games so that may dull my sensitivity to when it's performing badly in print.
2. This comes across as kinda odd. I support other people's ability to write high quality stories in short spaces. Hmm... At risk of constructing a Straw Man, may I read it in this particular instance as: "This fic isn't quality enough to be this short." ? Sure. Probably be less than 25k even if finished.
Review By [BinarySobriquet] • Date [16 Nov 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Mid-Moment II" from FariaLyton
Review:
Finish, please?
Review By [FariaLyton] • Date [8 Apr 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Mid-Moment II" from Bobboky
Review:
good
Comments from author:
Cool :D
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [5 Nov 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Mid-Moment II" from (Past Donor)Kiwikatipo
Review:
Well what happened in the intervening three years? Did everything play out the same?

I think if you have a major XO event like Susan she should change the events of what happened in the series.
Comments from author:
Ah, I like sweeping changes to the universe as much as the next bloke, but I'm aiming here for a kind of 'changing the past not to change the present, but to change the future' kind of feel. So far I've mainly had experience with the former. I'd be very happy if I could keep the build-up low key this time, but only if I also manage to make it convincing.

Chapters 10 & 11 should both read (from different points of view) something like:
Event in Season 3 leads to ---> 'Missing' Scenes cropping up everywhere in Seasons 3-7, without overly affecting what the 'camera' sees, but inevitably leading to ---> Large Events now that the finale is safely out of the way.
Review By [(Past Donor)Kiwikatipo] • Date [5 Nov 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Library II" from (Past Donor)Kiwikatipo
Review:
"Susan, this is Giles the Watcher-trained Librarian and Faith the Accomplice Slayer. Guys, this is the mysterious-"

accomplice slayer? god no wonder she went rogue - Faith the Vampire Slayer in her own right thank you.

Then I forgave you because you portrayed Faith as no dummy who read Pratchett because he took her away from her world.

Then you spoilt it again by having Xander read the discworld books too. Hell why not have Snider and Joyce read them as well?

Actually I think it a mistake to have Susan a recognisable piece of fiction far better for her to be from another dimension like Pylea.
Comments from author:
Very good point. Rewrote the scene from Faith's point of view, including her thoughts. I've credited you for pointing out how she'd take that line: 'My fist clenched in response, despite my attention being elsewhere. I'm a Slayer in my own right, thank you very much.' Also expanded her ride on Binky from two lines to a scene where she stares down the First Evil in the past.

Changed it so that Xander 'borrowed' and read one of Giles' books... One that he didn't get more than thirty pages through because the single-quotes around the spoken dialogue kept throwing him off.

Heh, funny you mention Joyce... By changing the Sidewalk scene from shortly after sunrise to the middle of the night, I gave Buffy more time to 'research' the books after Giles brought them by her house, so, yeah... While Joyce and Willow and Buffy hadn't read Discworld before Susan's arrival they've at the very least skimmed through several by the following afternoon.

Eh, Susan's kind of an 'Outside Context Problem' and... I can easily see Giles, at the very least, starting out disliking her and resenting her approach to things in many of the ways they could meet, without him having prior knowledge of her. I also want to draw some parallels between the entities of both universes and it's a lot easier for me with Susan not being the only source of information.

Thank you very much for the great review. Definitely something I kept in mind throughout the rewrite :)
Review By [(Past Donor)Kiwikatipo] • Date [5 Nov 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Library" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Review:
'and the Death most willing to claim the donator'

You just knew they were screwed at that point.

*snicker*
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [22 Feb 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Empty Lot" from Bobboky
Review:
odd
Comments from author:
Hey, I rewrote the fic in first person and gave Chapter 8 a somewhat different end result.

Hope it flows more smoothly this time through :)
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [23 Oct 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Empty Lot" from JoeDineen
Review:
Very good very Pratchett. I like it.
Comments from author:
Hey, I rewrote the fic in first person and reworked the end of Chapter 8 so it made more sense. Still good / Any better? :)
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [21 Oct 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Library IV" from banner
Review:
*Great* plot development. I love the way you are keeping everyone in character.
Comments from author:
Thanks :D
Review By [banner] • Date [29 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Library IV" from Bobboky
Review:
cool
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [27 Sep 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Apartment" from (Past Donor)Jewel
Review:
Chapter seems OK to me - a bit odd and demented but what can I expect? I'm reading a Pratchett cross, after all.

Like this story and look forward to updates.
Review By [(Past Donor)Jewel] • Date [8 Sep 06] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Apartment" from DanaShort
Review:
Ok, I feel like I missed a chapter or two.

Could be me, but this just didn't read right - like, uh, why is Faith riding the horse? It just didn't make any sense to me, but then again, it's 8am, and I should be asleep still, so as I said maybe it's just me.


ADDED 8-19-06

It reads ALOT better this time around.
Comments from author:
You're right, it began abruptly and left stuff out.

Demon Binky equals power. I decided to take him away for a bit so I could write the scene in my head. I should have set it up more clearly the first time through...

Thanks for bringing it up... I need help like that sometimes... I increased the length and detail... Better? :)
Review By [DanaShort] • Date [20 Aug 06] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Library III" from banner
Review:
I just found this story, and all I can say is, "Wow."
Great stuff. I love the characterizations...
Comments from author:
Heh, Thanks :)
Review By [banner] • Date [13 Aug 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Library III" from Bobboky
Review:
nice
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [10 Aug 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Library III" from BrendanM
Review:
Hee...

Discworld crossovers always amuse me.

Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thanks, but updates are gonna be random. The pacing feels kinda sideways in my head. Working uphill, or somethin' ;)
Review By [BrendanM] • Date [10 Aug 06] • Not Rated
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