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TwistedShorts August Oneshots by jedibuttercup

2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 -->

Excerpts from nine years of short stories (so far) written for the yearly August challenge. This isn't the entire list, by any means, especially in the later years; these are only the ones that 'stand alone' and have not been made part of their own, independent series or compiled as multiple chapters.

(Hence part of the reason I'm collecting them this way; so I can revisit them for expansion in the future!)

I make no promises of quality; many of these were written down to the wire as the clock rolled toward midnight on their respective dates. But if you like the strange connections my mind tends to draw in my other work, you may enjoy some of the wilder possibilities I did my best to encapsulate here.
B:tVS, Star Wars. 1500 words. The death of Emperor Palpatine creates a vast disturbance in the Force, and a certain Jedi is unexpectedly caught up in the backwash.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Star Wars > Buffy-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,534] • Recs [1] • Reviews [36] • Hits [6,564] • Published [5 Aug 05] • Updated [5 Aug 05] • Completed [No]
B:tVS, Dukes of Hazzard; 500 words. The Summers girls have a close encounter with the General Lee.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Dukes of Hazzard, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [1] • Words [505] • Recs [1] • Reviews [7] • Hits [3,691] • Published [6 Aug 05] • Updated [6 Aug 05] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Bulletproof Monk. 500 words. Giles discusses a prophecy.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Bulletproof Monk • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [1] • Words [506] • Recs [1] • Reviews [4] • Hits [3,353] • Published [9 Aug 05] • Updated [9 Aug 05] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Boondock Saints. 1100 words. Buffy isn't the only avatar of righteousness with a claim against Caleb.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Boondock Saints, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR18 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,108] • Recs [1] • Reviews [4] • Hits [4,591] • Published [14 Aug 05] • Updated [14 Aug 05] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Harry Potter. The locket discovered in the Black House finds a new owner, courtesy of Mundungus Fletcher. 700 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Harry Potter > General • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [1] • Words [709] • Recs [0] • Reviews [5] • Hits [3,549] • Published [17 Aug 05] • Updated [17 Aug 05] • Completed [Yes]
A:tS, Constantine. 400 words. Angel has a perplexing encounter with another infamous resident of L.A.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Constantine • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [403] • Recs [0] • Reviews [2] • Hits [3,599] • Published [19 Aug 05] • Updated [19 Aug 05] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Fear Factor. Reality television will never be the same. 450 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [458] • Recs [0] • Reviews [10] • Hits [2,861] • Published [22 Aug 05] • Updated [22 Aug 05] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Unbreakable. Not all heroes are destined to get along with one another. 400 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Unbreakable • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [410] • Recs [0] • Reviews [4] • Hits [3,536] • Published [26 Aug 05] • Updated [26 Aug 05] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Bones. Booth and Brennan are the bearers of bad news. 400 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Bones > Buffy - Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [405] • Recs [0] • Reviews [7] • Hits [6,124] • Published [7 Aug 06] • Updated [7 Aug 06] • Completed [Yes]
BtVS, The Rundown. Buffy and Willow dine out in São Paolo and encounter a very unusual chef.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Rundown, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [604] • Recs [0] • Reviews [9] • Hits [2,873] • Published [12 Aug 06] • Updated [12 Aug 06] • Completed [Yes]
Crossover Action TtH 100 Ficlet(s) 11. Jie Jie
B:tVS, Firefly. River returns to the Academy at the head of a new Independent Army. 750 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Firefly > Buffy-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [751] • Recs [4] • Reviews [26] • Hits [6,204] • Published [14 Aug 06] • Updated [14 Aug 06] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Harry Potter. Auror Potter, wizarding hero and suspicious bastard, helps Andromeda Tonks conduct an interview. 900 words; SPOILERS FOR DEATHLY HALLOWS.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Harry Potter > Oz-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [908] • Recs [0] • Reviews [13] • Hits [6,092] • Published [5 Aug 07] • Updated [5 Aug 07] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Harry Potter. The former Tom Riddle was nothing if not a genius. (MINOR SPOILERS FOR DEATHLY HALLOWS)
Only the author can add chapters to this story Harry Potter > Angel-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [757] • Recs [0] • Reviews [10] • Hits [3,827] • Published [9 Aug 07] • Updated [9 Aug 07] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Thir13en Ghosts. Buffy and Willow clean up after the destruction of the Ocularis Infernum. 1500 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Thir13en Ghosts • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,506] • Recs [0] • Reviews [8] • Hits [2,582] • Published [18 Aug 07] • Updated [18 Aug 07] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, 5th Element. If she knew Leeloo from before her five thousand year sleep, the green-haired girl couldn't be anything like as young as she seemed.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Fifth Element, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,836] • Recs [0] • Reviews [15] • Hits [4,204] • Published [30 Aug 07] • Updated [30 Aug 07] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Eureka. As long as his job in Eureka never crossed the line into outright horror movie territory, Jack could tell himself it wasn't really all that bad. 1400 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Eureka • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,403] • Recs [1] • Reviews [20] • Hits [4,368] • Published [4 Aug 08] • Updated [4 Aug 08] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, Mummy 3. Buffy clung to Rick as the ripples of his revelation shook through the comfortable relationship she'd built around him. 2700 words.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Mummy, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR18 • Chapters [1] • Words [2,751] • Recs [5] • Reviews [17] • Hits [3,735] • Published [11 Aug 08] • Updated [11 Aug 08] • Completed [Yes]
B:tVS, SG-1. Nothing against Rosenberg, but Jack had never figured her for Teal'c's type.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Stargate > Willow-Centered > Pairing: Teal'c • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,813] • Recs [1] • Reviews [19] • Hits [5,533] • Published [24 Aug 08] • Updated [24 Aug 08] • Completed [Yes]
Crossover Story 19. Plan Z
FF4. "I'm sure," Mia confirmed, then bit her lip. "I'm still me, Brian. Just with a few extra modifications."
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Fast and the Furious, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [2,007] • Recs [0] • Reviews [10] • Hits [3,161] • Published [3 Aug 09] • Updated [3 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
Xander held on to his sister's contact information for about a year before he actually sent her an email.
Only the author can add chapters to this story CSI > CSI Las Vegas • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [2] • Words [3,222] • Recs [4] • Reviews [27] • Hits [14,951] • Published [3 Aug 09] • Updated [22 Nov 11] • Completed [Yes]
"Gotta say, that's the most creative way anyone's ever tried to scam me. Who are you supposed to be, my long lost daughter or niece or something?"
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Hancock • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,916] • Recs [0] • Reviews [13] • Hits [5,277] • Published [5 Aug 09] • Updated [5 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
He was unique, a being worth preserving; but like any fierce, broken creature, he was also a being that would not be preserved.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Highlander > Fred/Illyria-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [600] • Recs [1] • Reviews [15] • Hits [3,152] • Published [7 Aug 09] • Updated [7 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
Jack had been paying more attention to the grill than to the geeks when Summers handed over the pendant, but he'd seen enough to dismiss it as ordinary, unimportant. He should have known better.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Stargate > Dawn-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,409] • Recs [0] • Reviews [19] • Hits [6,649] • Published [12 Aug 09] • Updated [12 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
G.I. Joe (2009); B:tVS. "Major Finn," General Hawk was saying on the phone as Duke was escorted into his office.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Comics > GI Joe • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [753] • Recs [0] • Reviews [6] • Hits [4,621] • Published [13 Aug 09] • Updated [13 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
As long as Jo had any part of her arsenal along, she'd never be intimidated by anyone girly enough to wear high-heeled sandals with pink toe polish, or a shirt that low-cut, no matter how physically strong she was supposed to be.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Eureka • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,614] • Recs [1] • Reviews [12] • Hits [4,434] • Published [16 Aug 09] • Updated [16 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
The money was never any part of the reason Lindsey had taken the job. FFA Pairing fic.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Harry Potter > Other BtVS/AtS Characters • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [855] • Recs [0] • Reviews [6] • Hits [2,383] • Published [18 Aug 09] • Updated [18 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
"Right," the guy snorted, a deeply skeptical expression on his face. "How many people does that actually work on?"
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Push • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,007] • Recs [0] • Reviews [4] • Hits [3,201] • Published [23 Aug 09] • Updated [23 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
Harmony giggled at the man standing on the other side of the bars. Really, he was the cutest thing ever. FFA pairing.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Stargate > Other BtVS/AtS Characters • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [301] • Recs [0] • Reviews [9] • Hits [3,330] • Published [23 Aug 09] • Updated [23 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
"Okay, so that thing where I said guns were never useful?" she babbled. "I take it back." (TF movieverse).
Only the author can add chapters to this story Marvel Universe > Transformers • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [408] • Recs [0] • Reviews [3] • Hits [3,834] • Published [25 Aug 09] • Updated [25 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
"You subordinate yourself to the humans," the woman said, lips pursed in disapproval.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Hancock • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,211] • Recs [0] • Reviews [14] • Hits [3,814] • Published [31 Aug 09] • Updated [31 Aug 09] • Completed [Yes]
CURRENT SPOILERS. "Dr. Burkle tilted her head, birdlike, and the hairs inexplicably stood up on the backs of Jo's arms."
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Eureka • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,214] • Recs [1] • Reviews [16] • Hits [3,363] • Published [4 Aug 10] • Updated [4 Aug 10] • Completed [Yes]
It was enough to make Sam wonder if there was anyone left in the universe worthy of awe.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Stargate > General > Characters: Sam Carter • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [906] • Recs [2] • Reviews [20] • Hits [4,530] • Published [10 Aug 10] • Updated [10 Aug 10] • Completed [Yes]
COMICSVERSE. "This wasn't the first afternoon Dawn had picked a vantage point to gaze out over the water, nor the first time she'd watched living things either vanish or mysteriously detour around a specific area."
Only the author can add chapters to this story Stargate > Dawn-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [1] • Words [2,307] • Recs [0] • Reviews [32] • Hits [2,876] • Published [12 Aug 11] • Updated [12 Aug 11] • Completed [Yes]
Oklahoma 1893: A series of savage attacks claimed the lives of seventeen homesteaders. The murders stopped when a young blacksmith passed through town.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Adventures of Brisco County Jr, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,002] • Recs [2] • Reviews [5] • Hits [2,015] • Published [14 Aug 11] • Updated [14 Aug 11] • Completed [Yes]
So much for the handsome man rescuing her from the monsters. Fred was gonna have to rescue herself.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Firefly > Fred/Illyria-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [2,255] • Recs [0] • Reviews [13] • Hits [2,274] • Published [1 Aug 12] • Updated [1 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
Buffy tilted her head to see who else was insane enough to attempt the long hike on a ninety-plus degree day.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Eureka • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,510] • Recs [0] • Reviews [4] • Hits [2,773] • Published [7 Aug 12] • Updated [7 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
Lorne might be able to survive a temporary beheading with no permanent harm done, but he was pretty sure removing half a brain was problematic for the long-term health of any sentient species.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Tin Man • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [2] • Words [3,114] • Recs [0] • Reviews [6] • Hits [1,979] • Published [9 Aug 12] • Updated [15 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
Always female, these rare, solitary creatures are known to be extremely aggressive and will attack any other wesen they encounter.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Television > Grimm • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [1] • Words [803] • Recs [2] • Reviews [16] • Hits [3,174] • Published [13 Aug 12] • Updated [13 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
The captain's tentacle beard started to writhe in a completely nauseating dance, a strange gurgling sound emerging from it that Cordelia was horrified to realize was a chuckle.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Pirates of the Caribbean > Other BtVS/AtS Characters • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,412] • Recs [0] • Reviews [5] • Hits [1,500] • Published [18 Aug 12] • Updated [18 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
Even self-rescuing princesses could use a strong shoulder to lean on sometimes.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Expendables, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,208] • Recs [1] • Reviews [7] • Hits [2,213] • Published [26 Aug 12] • Updated [26 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
They made a strange pair, standing at the top of the Silver Spire: mortal and angel, tall armored figure with wings of fire beside a small blonde female in decorative trousers and tunic.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Games > Fantasy > Diablo • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,302] • Recs [0] • Reviews [7] • Hits [1,751] • Published [27 Aug 12] • Updated [27 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
Here was another whose soul yet burned: who hadn't checked his passion at the door.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Harry Potter > Other BtVS/AtS Characters • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [901] • Recs [0] • Reviews [5] • Hits [2,094] • Published [30 Aug 12] • Updated [30 Aug 12] • Completed [Yes]
Anya's back. But the justice business hasn't gotten any more satisfying since the last time she tried it.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Firefly > Anya-Centered • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,111] • Recs [1] • Reviews [4] • Hits [1,636] • Published [21 Aug 13] • Updated [21 Aug 13] • Completed [Yes]
The Buffy that wasn't really Buffy was very confused by the metal beings battling in the streets of Mission City.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Marvel Universe > Transformers • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR7 • Chapters [1] • Words [403] • Recs [0] • Reviews [17] • Hits [1,980] • Published [22 Aug 13] • Updated [22 Aug 13] • Completed [Yes]
The woman with the most generic name in the assassin biz looked as lively as ever... and she was making a beeline straight for Faith's seat at the bar.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Mr. & Mrs. Smith • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,009] • Recs [3] • Reviews [10] • Hits [2,167] • Published [25 Aug 13] • Updated [25 Aug 13] • Completed [Yes]
Was that really her dad? The same guy who refused to believe in vampires, covering up evidence of demons? What in the name of shopping malls and ice skates was going on?
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Men in Black • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [1,012] • Recs [1] • Reviews [25] • Hits [3,183] • Published [28 Aug 13] • Updated [28 Aug 13] • Completed [Yes]
Agreeing to do a bit of clandestine goods trafficking between Sunnydale and Los Angeles in the summer of 2001 probably wasn't the brightest idea Spike had ever had.
Only the author can add chapters to this story Movies > Fast and the Furious, The • (Current Donor)jedibuttercup • FR13 • Chapters [1] • Words [905] • Recs [0] • Reviews [6] • Hits [1,157] • Published [30 Aug 13] • Updated [30 Aug 13] • Completed [Yes]