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Summary: Hermione and Andrew have been pen pals since they were children. Neither one knows about the other's strange lives. What happens when they finally meet?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Andrew-Centered > Pairing: Hermione GrangerangeluscadoFR1523,4691232,6599 Aug 0624 Aug 06No

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: No, this isn’t mine. Andrew Wells and the Buffy crew are the brainchild of Joss Whedon and Hermione Granger and Harry’s posse are JK Rowling’s idea. Those two are my gods…

Summary: Hermione and Andrew have been pen pals for 15 years. What happens when they meet? And what will their friends think of it? (Post S7 and post Hogwarts)

A/N: I’m very pleased from all of the positive feedback I’ve gotten so far. Thank you all!

Snail Mail

Chapter 2

“So, has the ponce written back yet?” asked Ron about three weeks after Hermione had sent off her letter to Andrew.

“No,” she replied, acting in a way that could only be described as pouting. “And don’t call him that; you know it bothers me.”

“Maybe that’s why we do it,” Harry replied. “Besides, what’s gotten you so worked up about this letter? You’re never like this whenever Andrew has to reply.”

“Nothing’s gotten me worked up, as you so delicately put it,” Hermione replied quickly. However, she was quite nervous, and it was so obvious that even her friends—who were blind to everything except for blonde bimbos and Quidditch—could see it. “I’m fine, really; there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure?” asked Harry. Before Hermione could open her mouth, a sound emitted from her computer, signifying that she had a new e-mail message. Instead of ignoring it like she usually did, Hermione bounded across the room and opened up her e-mail program. Harry and Ron quickly followed, crowding around Hermione’s computer chair.

“Do you mind?” Hermione asked, batting the boys away. Honestly, they never learn, she though with a roll of her eyes. Ron and Harry stepped back to give Hermione a little more room. Excitedly, Hermione clicked on the email subject.

To: Hermione Granger

From: Andrew Wells


Yes, I know I haven’t been writing either; you don’t need to rub it in, you know. I’ve been busy as well; the last time I wrote to you was just before we found out about the leak, and we had to get out of town. I don’t know why my friends chose Cleveland, but I went with them because I had no where else to go. Not exactly the best plan; they aren’t exactly my friends, more like people I went to high school with. The only one that talks to me without barely-veiled annoyance is Dawn, but she’s at school most of the time so I don’t get to talk to her much.

What the heck is a ponce, I wonder? It doesn’t sound good, judging by your tone. Why don’t they like me? Are they jealous because they think I’m going to horn in on their territory? Because if those two are anything like you described, then stealing you away is hardly worth it. Darn those dastardly friends who don’t recognize your brilliance!

I think that visiting is a good idea, even if all I want to do is convince you to watch Star Wars. Or even read the books. I know how much you prefer literature to movies. I’d have no problem securing funds for a ticket; one of the people I live with (he’s kinda the father-figure of the house) came into a rather large inheritance recently and he’s been sharing it with all of us. Since I don’t have a job (the prospects for a sci-fi computer geek are slim, surprisingly), I can come anytime. What’s best for you?

Reply back as soon as you can!



P.S.—Enclosed is a recent photograph of yours truly. Print it out and frame it--I know you need to change the one that you keep on your nightstand.-winks-

Hermione clicked on the attachment and waited impatiently as it downloaded. Harry and Ron crowded around Hermione again, suddenly interested in her “Muggle thingamabob”.

“So, what are we looking at?” Ron asked, staring at the half-downloaded picture.

“Andrew sent a photograph over and my internet connection is too slow for my liking,” Hermione replied. By that time she could see Andrew’s face, smiling shyly at the camera. Still blonde-haired and blue-eyed, the expression on his face exuded a boyish charm that nearly made Hermione want to swoon.

“Oh, definitely poncy,” Ron said with mild disgust. “Hermione, what do you see in him?”

“I could ask you that same question about that little trollop you’ve got this week,” Hermione replied haughtily. “Of course, I don’t, because I have tact.”

Ron stood there with his mouth hanging open for a moment, speechless for the time being. Harry took this as an opportunity to drag him away to Quidditch practice.

“We’ll see you later, Hermione,” he said before apparating out.


Andrew had been ecstatic when Hermione’s first letter came, and was hoping that an email would find its way to his inbox sometime soon. A few days after he had sent his email, he sat on his computer, browsing through his favorite Babylon 5 message boards. However, he wasn’t so enthralled that an email pop-up escaped his notice.

To: Andrew Wells

From: Hermione Granger


A ponce is a rather effeminate male. You’re right in the fact that it’s not good; at least, I don’t like it when Harry and Ron call people that. They’re rather overprotective of me, and they don’t like it when they’re excluded from my relationships. They were like this when I still wrote to Viktor after my fourth year. However, that relationship was a bust when I found out that he was already engaged and was just stringing me along. Harry and Ron don’t know that yet, because I love annoying them so.

You’ll be proud of me, though; I’ve watched a few Star Wars movies, a few being episodes four, five, six and one. What I don’t understand is why George Lucas made the middle three in the 1970’s, and is just now getting around to making the first three. However, I am still a die-hard Star Trek fan; at least in Star Trek there aren’t any hints of incest. Luke and Leia…eww!

As for visiting, I hadn’t expected you to agree to it so readily; I mean, we haven’t been in contact for months, and I just dropped the bomb on you. If anything, I expected you to say I was being too pushy. I’ve been accused of that, and I didn’t want to come off that way. Anyway, I have some vacation time coming up in a few weeks. If that’s too short notice, I could probably get my supervisor to push it back a couple more weeks so that you can make your arrangements in time. I hope we can meet; I’ve wanted to for a while, you seem so interesting on paper.

Best wishes,


P.S.—True to form, I have also enclosed a recent photograph. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find one with me all by my lonesome, so you get to see me with my two best friends. Hopefully that doesn’t detract from the experience.

Clicking on the attachment, the picture popped up instantly. Thank god for high speed internet, Andrew thought as he looked at the picture. There were three people in the picture, two guys and a girl. It was obvious to Andrew who his pen pal was. Hermione still had frizzy hair, pulled away from her face in a ponytail. Her eyes sparkled with laughter as she stuck her tongue out at the camera, the two guys on either side of her pulling funny faces at the camera as well. He knew them to be Harry and Ron; Hermione had mentioned them a fair bit in her letters.

“Who’s the girl?” asked Xander, causing Andrew to jump a little. He hadn’t even heard the other man coming down the stairs. “At least, I’m assuming you’re ogling the girl. If you’re ogling the guys, then that’ll be awkward.”

“Her name is Hermione,” Andrew replied. “She’s my pen pal. We’ve just started talking through e-mail. Much quicker, I think.”

“She’s cute,” Xander noted with an appreciative nod. “British, right?”

“Yeah,” Andrew replied with a dreamy sigh.

“Man, if I knew the land of Giles was churning girls like that out, I would have taken Giles’ invitation to go to England,” Xander said with a low whistle.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Andrew continued, growing more excited by every word he said. “She knows all about Star Trek, and she reads comic books, and she can hold her own in a hardcore game of Dungeons and Dragons. Cool, huh?”

“Every geek’s wet dream,” Xander said with a friendly smirk. “Well, I hope things work out for ya with this Herminny girl.”

“It’s Hermione!” Andrew called after Xander as the other man ascended the stairs. The blond man rolled his eyes and began typing out his reply, carefully thinking about what he wanted to say. His fingers flying across the keyboard, Andrew had a reply typed out in no time. Reading it over one more time, he clicked on the ‘send’ button, satisfied with his work.


K, chapter two for your reading pleasure. Reviews keep me happy, flames are good for toasting marshmallows.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Snail Mail" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 24 Aug 06.

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