Disclaimer: I own neither Buffy or Superman.
Summary: Sometimes it can be a good thing when fifth dimensional imps visit. Story number six in the Inheritance series.
Xander smiled as he gazed at the peaceful looking orb that was slowly turning beneath him. It was during times like this that made all the crap he had to go through seem worthwhile.
“It truly is a incredible sight,” said Stephanie, her golden hair framing a face that put some of the pure blooded Amazons to shame.
“Yeah, unfortunately it can also be kind of distracting,” said Xander as he ran a hand through his ruffled hair.
“Writers block again?” asked the blond Amazon with a bit of a smirk.
“Oh sure go ahead and laugh,” said Xander with an equal smirk. “I’ll have you know that I have a great story, it’s just difficult to write without anyone finding out that I have an insiders perspective.”
“Another book about superheroes?” asked Stephanie with a raised eyebrow.
“Yep, now that we’re becoming more accepted my publishers have been demanding that I write another story. So here I am on the moon trying to clear my head so I can write a story about what would have happened if my father, the original Superman had lived,” said the current last son of Krypton.
“So why are you here, and not writing your book?” asked Wonder Woman.
“Kyle snores, and I can’t seem to block it out today,” said Xander, referring to the fact that the emerald artist had been evicted and was now living at the Watchtower until he found a new place.
“Sorry to hear that,” said Stephanie as she tried to hold back her laughter.
“It’s no big, I’ll either get my hearing back under control or I’ll see how well a laptop works in space,” said Xander with a shrug.
“Well if you need someone to talk to feel free to visit me in the Monitor Room,” said Stephanie as she started to walk away.
After a few moments of imagining just what a visit should entail, Xander had to forcefully get his mind on another track.
Bad Xander, no fantasies about the Amazon sex Goddess. You just got to the point where she doesn’t threaten to kill you with her magical sword.
Then maybe a few fantasies about Cassandra? Tight leather costume has many naughty possibilities.
Shut up brain, or I’ll stab you with a Kryptonite q-tip.
Come on, not even a little day dream about the time your x-ray vision kicked in while you were looking at Cordelia?
“I think I was safer when I was using my imagination less often,” muttered Xander as he made his way back to his personal room in the Watchtower. Apparently his hormones got supercharged with the rest of him, not a good superpower when he was trying to keep a nice business relationship with women who dressed in tights and tight leather.
When Xander finally entered his private room he was shocked at the sight that was in front of him. There was Stephanie, completely unclothed, with her long blond hair barely concealing the rather large endowments she had inherited from her mother.
“It’s about time you came back here,” said the Amazon in a voice that would make long time Penthouse readers break out in a sweat.
“Okay, either super-luck is a new power for me, or you aren’t really who you appear to be,” said Xander as he brought some heat vision into his eyes, turning them an angry red.
“Personally I’d say super-luck,” said the person who was probably featured in the fantasies of ninety percent of the straight young men in the world, as she stood up, brushed her hair back and started to walk towards Xander.
“I’d say not,” said Xander as he let loose his heat vision, but not at the blond standing in front of him.
“YEEEOUCH!!!” cried a now visible midget with a purple derby hat. “Well that’s a fine thank you.”
“Exactly what should I be thanking you for here?” asked Xander as the blond stroked his face as if nothing strange was happening.
“For the blond duplicate there,” said the small being as he pulled out a cigar and lit it up. “You’re a teenage boy, and if you don’t safely let out some of that tension then something’s going to snap.”
“Just make her go away, please,” said Xander as the blond double started to nibble on his ear. If this didn’t stop soon he was going to do something he knew he was going to regret.
“It’s your life kid,” said the intruder, and with a snap of his gloved hands, they were alone.
“Thanks,” said Xander as he let out a sigh of relief. “Now would you mind telling me just who you are?”
“Names Mxyzptlk, Mister Mxyzptlk, and I’m going to be the best friend you ever had,” said the stranger with a small bow.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but how exactly are you going to do that?” asked Xander.
“My making sure you never get bored my boy,” said the small man with an impish grin.
“Um, you do realize that I deal with things that would drive most people insane on a regular basis, right? Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I don’t need any more excitement in my life,” said Xander in a way that he hoped wouldn’t offend Mxyzptlk. The man could create very real duplicates with a snap of his fingers, and Xander didn’t want to see what he would create if he got pissed off.
“You may have a point there,” said Mxyzptlk as he took a long puff on his cigar. “I could always bring back blondie for a bit of relaxation.”
“NO!” shouted Xander in panic. “I’ve seen enough cartoons and sitcoms to know that the second that happens the real Wonder Woman, or another woman that I’m close to will walk through the door. I don’t know about you, but I like keeping my internal organs internal.”
“Smart kid,” said Mxyzptlk as he started to casually float into the air. “Lets see, big disasters are played out, and you don’t let your hormones control you like most teenagers. You know I never had this kind of a creative block with your father.
“That’s it!” shouted the floating man as he turned his gaze back to Xander. “Just because I can’t go back there for another sixty days doesn’t mean that I can’t send things there. Man this is going to be so good.”
“What’s going to be so good?” asked Xander while making a mental note to install panic buttons in the Watchtower in the future. He was getting a real bad feeling about this situation, the kind of bad feeling that would go away if he knew there was some back up coming.
“Kid get ready to have the best present you ever had,” said Mxyzptlk as he threw a lightning bolt at Xander.