Chapter Eight

Animaniacs/Pinky and the Brain/Tiny Toon Adventures/Gremlins are presumably the intellectual property of Steven Spielberg, WB, and their various writers/artists/actors.
BtVs created by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Lyrics for 'A Place Called Home' by Kim Richey

Two songs by Four Star Mary are mentioned ('Bad Rain' and 'Believe'). They're the band that got their start by portraying 'Dingoes Ate My Baby' during the early run of BtVs.


Jonathan went to his temporary hide-out and, with his new super-strength, began to put things in order. He was interrupted in his cleaning by someone entering the room.

He took in the general look of the taller demon, from his flowing robes to his goatee.

"You must be Jonathan," D'Hoffryn stated. "My name is D'Hoffryn and I used to be the head of a select group of Vengeance Demons, but thanks to the Slayer I have been depowered. All I have been left with is the immense brain power of an evil genius..."

"Huh," Jonathan stated, scratching his head. "You might be useful... But how did you find me?"

"I led him to you," said a lithe brunette as she stepped out from the shadows.

"Katrina?" he gasped, staring in shock at the appearance of Warren's murdered ex-girlfriend.

"Not quite," she laughed as she shimmered between the outward forms of many dead people. "I'm known by many names, but you can call me the First Evil."



In a place better known as 'Elsewhere'

In the fog and cloud filled plain, which was just a bit too light and fluffy for Brain's taste, Mogwai-Pinky was trying to explain his new responsibilities as a Chaos Gremlin.

He was droning on about how they went about the multiverse causing both mechanical systems and ephemeral works of thought to go out of whack in varying degrees.

It might have made more sense if he didn't stop to say 'Poit' or 'Narf' or 'Zort' every few sentences.

Brain was fed up, the vein was bulging on his forehead, but he had finally figured out the metaphysical circuitry of a nearby cloud portal. After a few more seconds of making connections, Brain was able to spy on the other Brains in the contest, most of the other 99 were already present at the Training Grounds.

After he'd spent some time studying the moves and acquired powers of the alternate versions of himself, he checked out several attractive female companions that some of him had brought with them.

Brain was having fun with the spying device, until Mogwai-Pinky decided to test out his new powers.

*KaPOW*

The cloud portal began to cycle randomly through different realities.

"Pinky! I was watching that! Why! No... Oh no!"

He stared into the portal seeing how the realities that had been abandoned by their Brains in favor of the contest had slowly but surely succumbed to an evil flood of alternate versions of the hamster Snowball, Brain's friend-now-turned-enemy.

"Egad, Pinky, do you know what this means?"

"Snowball's going to have his own flavor of ice cream?"

"Well, yes, probably... But more importantly, this entire stupid contest was probably set up so our home realities would be undefended! We've got to warn the other versions of myself and show them the truth!"

Without another word, Brain grabbed Mogwai-Pinky by the arm.

Together, they jumped through the portal and disappeared completely from the Buffyverse.

With them went Buffy's personal Slayer power, the power that had been altered by Willow's resurrection spell.

Things began to change...



Somewhere in Sunnydale

"Oh, pooh!" the First Evil yelled, stomping her foot. "The essence of the oldest Slayer has vanished from this reality. If she'd simply just died I could have kept on using her as a wedge, but no... So much for clawing my way to the surface this century."

She spent the next couple moments cursing her luck. She wasn't an individual, but actually the surface thoughts of a much greater entity. Now that its chance at freedom had been removed, there wasn't any reason left for the immense slumbering force to be even this much awake...

When she had finally faded from view, the two men in the room looked at each other, shrugged, and began to discuss their plans...

''''''''

The Scoobies gathered themselves in the Bronze, awaiting their surprise. Even though word had gone out on such short notice, the place was packed.

Backstage, Spike was still discussing song choices with Oz.

"Wolf, I still don't know about these lyrics, they just seem too bloody wordy for my tastes."

"If you want we can finish with a few pub songs, something the whole audience can join in and sing to... Anyway, we're up."

...

The audience was packed because Oz had called in a few favors. He'd asked his old band, Dingoes Ate My Baby, to come back to Sunnydale. They had moved away, changed their name and become famous, but they were glad to do a favor for an old friend. Especially when the request was as interesting as this one.

Spike was onstage, singing his British heart out.

Tara was filling in for Oz on the guitar, her arms empowered by unfamiliar technical skill.

Oz was otherwise occupied.

Thanks to the talent and stage presence he'd borrowed from the red-headed witch, the normally subdued man was onstage singing lead vocals along with Spike... Surprising the hell out of his former bandmates.

They were all gathered together that night, under the group name of 'Bloody Mary', and the audience was loving it.


After running through 'Believe' and 'Bad Rain' they launched into their cover of Kim Richey's 'A Place Called Home'.

Well, it's not hard to see
Anyone who looks at me
Knows I am just a rolling stone
Never landing anyplace to call my own
To call my own

Well, it seems like so long ago
But it really ain't you know
I started out a crazy kid
Miracle I made it through the things I did
The things I did

Someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow

Xander had become completely disgusted by the soppingly romantic looks Spike was throwing Anya, especially because vampire kept singing directly to her like there was no-one else in the room...

‘Til then, I travel alone
And I make my bed with the stars above my head
And dream of a place called home

Xander voiced his complaints to the Slayer, but he was grateful that Anya hadn't yet done anything more than make out with the handsome Brit.

"I mean, I'm sure if she'd gotten physical with him she'd have babbled about it right? You remember how she was always telling stuff about us when we were together? I mean, I'm sure that nothing's happened yet. I mean if you'd been with Spike you'd have come over immediately and told me, right?"

I had a chance to settle down
Get a job and live in town
Work in some old factory
I never liked the foreman standing over me
Over me

Sure, he was distracted by the show, but not enough that he didn't notice Buffy's blush.

Xander immediately began to yell: "I can't believe that you slept with a soulless vampire! Of all the disgusting things-"

He trailed off, impressed again by Spike's performance.

Oh I’d rather walk a winding road
Rather know the things I know
See the world with my own eyes
No regrets, no looking back, no goodbyes
No goodbyes

Someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow
‘Til then, I travel alone
And I make my bed with the stars above my head
And I dream of a place called home


As the audience applauded, Xander asked, somewhat softly: "Hey Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

"... Please tell me he at least sang to you first..."


...


When they'd finished having their fun, Tara and Oz switched their powers back.

The amulet was hidden away in a very safe place. A place they could retrieve it from if it was ever needed again.

Anya had other things to worry about.

When she'd become Head Vengeance Demon she'd developed an immunity to granted wishes, past and future.

After much deliberation, she removed the magical romantic compulsion from Spike.


They continued to date anyway.


They're still together.


''''''''

"Man, it's nearly morning," Jonathan said, as he stared at all the scribbled plans and pieces of paper flung around the room. "We've been at this all night... So, what do you want to do today, D'Hoffryn?"

"I don't know about you," D'Hoffryn answered, as he turned to watch the first rays of the sun light up the sky. "But I would like to take over the world..."


The End.




....START....BrainAnya....BuffyOzBuffy....SpikeOz....
....SpozWillow....WozTara....SpillowOke....OwWillra....
....BranyaBuffy....AnyainD'Hoffryn....OzaraTaroz....END

Final Fallout: Brainfy, D'Hoffain, Anya'Ryn, Buffya.